


Sheep’s Wool

by PictureItSicily



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Cooking, Cosplay, Cuddles, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, No beta we die like lilith, One Shot, Quality Time, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, multiple parts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 41,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28545402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PictureItSicily/pseuds/PictureItSicily
Summary: Various one-shots and multi-shots with various levels of fluff. Reader is mostly gender neutral throughout the chapters, but afab on some others.
Relationships: Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Barbatos & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Barbatos (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Barbatos (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Beelzebub & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Beelzebub/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Belphegor & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Belphegor/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Diavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Diavolo/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Leviathan/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character/Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character/Simeon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Simeon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Solomon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Comments: 109
Kudos: 407





	1. Be my pillow- Diavolo

**Author's Note:**

> Diavolo deserves fluffy cuddles. Enjoy.

What exactly possessed you?

Seeing as you were in the Devildom, it easily could have been a number of things. Granted, you usually could have just blamed Solomon’s cooking for whatever mess you got into and gotten away with it, but this...Lucifer was going to murder you. He was going to straight-up annihilate you. 

Movement ripped you from your thoughts as you looked down to the form of the Crown Prince of Hell himself sleeping on your lap. His face twitched and he grunted in his sleep as the clock struck three in the morning. 

How had you even gotten here? Oh yeah. 

_-Earlier that afternoon- _

Diavolo sighed heavily and set his pen down firmly. He leaned back, massaging his temples and face.

You glanced up at him from your seat at the table. The student council meeting was at least a half hour away, but you had decided to come early. Despite Mammon’s insistence to come with him to some café for a snack, you had decided to be responsible and to try and kill time by knocking out some homework. It appeared Diavolo had had the same idea with the stack of paperwork in front of him. It appeared he finally finished the mountain in front of him.

“Long day?” 

Diavolo cracked one eye open to gaze at you before chuckling before running his fingers through his hair and turning his attention back to the stack in front of him. 

“Something along those lines.” He sighed again, leaning forward to rest his elbow on the table and his chin on his fist. “Paperwork can be tedious, but it must be done. Unfortunately, my sleep schedule has left much to be desired.” 

“Meaning, you haven’t been sleeping, have you, Lord Diavolo?” You lightly teased. He wasn’t the only one lately. Lucifer had also been pulling all-nighters recently as far as you could tell. 

“You caught me.” He laughed. As his golden eyes settled on you again, you could feel a slight heat in your cheeks as he looked at you, something akin to fondness in his gaze. “How many times must I request you just call me Diavolo when we speak casually?” 

“As many times as it takes to keep Lucifer from ripping my head off if he should ever hear me.” 

Silence fell between the two of you once more as the demon lord drummed his fingers in the table. 

“Tell me, how do you relax after a long day?” Diavolo suddenly broke the silence, causing you to jump slightly. 

“Well...” How did you relax? “Books, movies...naps.” You started. “That is if certain demons aren’t demanding my attention.”   
  
You loved them. You really did, but between seven brothers demanding time and attention, you seldom had free time to yourself. Even at past midnight, either Mammon or Belphie occasionally found their way into your bed until morning, either claiming they thought you might have nightmares after the movie you watched together or demanding cuddles respectively. 

“I’ve seen your napping hobby in action. It looks quite peaceful.” Diavolo commented, never taking his eyes off you. You felt the color both drain and rush back to your cheeks and your hands flew up to attempt to hide it.

”When did-” You squeaked as he threw his head back to bark in laughter once more. 

“You fell asleep on Simeon’s lap in the courtyard last week. I walked by and saw the two of you. It looked quite comfortable and I didn’t want to wake you.” His eyes sparkled with amusement. “Are laps that comfortable to nap in? Is it a human preference? Then again, Lucifer has mentioned Belphegor has taken to sleeping in yours…Something along the lines of spoiling him rotten with head scratches?” 

“I don’t spoil him! I do that for any of my friends.” You could die on the spot. But knowing your luck, you’d be sent right back here to receive the teasing from the Prince of the Devildom. It was true though.

“Back home, my friends and I had been comfortable enough with each other to snuggle, give back scratches, head scratches, and back massages.” You finally admit. “It was a pretty normal thing for us to do.”

“I have to say, I’m jealous.” He laughed as your face continued to burn. “I’ve never had that intimate of an experience with friends unfortunately. Perhaps someday I can experience that.” 

Your mouth opened to say something, but the door to the room opened as Lucifer and Barbatos strode in. Both of you turned to look at the pair. Lucifer glanced between you two, eyebrow raised as Barbatos held the strap to his bag in his gloved hand, a serene smile on his face.

“Ah, I see you have completed this morning’s work, Young Master.” Barbatos quickly gathered the stack as neatly as possible and gently placed them in his bag, before pulling out an even more formidable stack, setting them down in front of Diavolo with a heavy thud. “Here is this evening’s. If you shall excuse me, I’ll take these to your office.”

“Really, Barbatos?” Diavolo groaned, looking up at the butler, attempting to give him what you could only describe as puppy-dog eyes.

“Really, Young Master.” Barbatos affirmed sternly. “This may help with the tension.” The demon set a thermos down in front of Lord Diavolo before giving a quick bow and exiting.

Diavolo scowled as he seized the thermos and unscrewed the lid. His grouchy expression relaxed as he smelled the contents and took a long drink. You could smell the faint smell of the Demon Lord’s favorite rose tea. Lucifer cleared his throat.

“He also gave me an exorbitant pile of work, if that makes you feel any better, Lord Diavolo.” Lucifer commiserated, misery etched into his features as he settled into the chair next to Diavolo. 

“I hate to ask, but are either of you planning on sleeping tonight?” You hesitantly asked, feeling concerned at this point. It had been three days. You were met with gloomy silence. “Alright then, I guess I’m picking up coffee on the way home.” You sighed.

“Don’t worry about it, I won’t be home tonight.” Lucifer waved his hand dismissively, stifling a yawn and leaning back into his chair.

“Perhaps we could use your study tonight, if I’m not imposing.” Diavolo stood and stretched, joints cracking. “A change of scenery might help.”

“You assume we’ll be able to get any work done with my troublesome brothers at home.” Lucifer grunted, eyes closed.

“I’ll keep an eye on them.” You volunteered. Lucifer quirked an eyebrow once again.

“You don’t have to go through that much trouble-” He was interrupted by the door banging open, the mentioned brothers piling in, arguing loudly about something.

Lucifer shook his head.

“Good luck with that.”

_ -Later, in the evening- _

It didn’t take much convincing to get Satan to abandon dinner duty and agree on everyone going to Hell’s Kitchen. Lord Diavolo and Lucifer had gone straight back to the House of Lamentation after the meeting, work piles in tow. It seemed only polite to give them space. That didn’t stop you from ordering a pizza, few bottles of house specialty Demonus, and some sides to go for them though. Asmo had fussed over the grease not being good for the skin when you ordered it, but conceded once you shot him a look.

“What ya doin’ that for? If they wanted food, they’ll get it on their own!” Mammon huffed as he walked with you behind the rest of the group. “Besides, how do ya even know Lord Diavolo even likes pizza? He’s probably used to some fancy-pants food Barbatos makes.”

“Mammon, it’s called being nice.”

“Lucifer doesn’t deserve it. He strung me up yesterday! I only took his card to get groceries.” Mammon sulked.

“Yeah, then you stopped at Majolish on the way home.” You scolded, pinching his cheek with your free hand.

“Hey! You’re talking to The Great Mammon! Show some respect.” The silver haired demon fussed, face turning red as he batted your hand away. “That aside, ya never bring ME food! I’m your first demon, I should be getting special treats, not them.” He whined. 

“Mams, I will gladly bring you food the next time you stay up for three days straight working. Until then, I’m sure The Great Mammon is fully capable of getting himself instant ramen.” You sighed.

“Hey scumbag, stop whining. My IQ is dropping from having to listen to your idiotic voice.” Satan snapped from ahead.

“LOL OWNED.” Levi cackled while Mammon spluttered incoherently.

"WHAT DID YA JUST SAY? COME BACK HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE!"

"How troublesome." Belphie mumbled. 

“I can help you carry that if you want.” Beel fell back beside you, eyes on the pizza box and bag of other greasy food as Mammon rushed forward, ready for a fight.

“I got it, big guy. Thanks though.” You smiled at him. He could be so polite and thoughtful. Then, you heard his stomach start to rumble. “Seriously, Beel? We literally just ate.”

“Sorry.” He gave you his best innocent eyes as you walked into the house. You swear this demon was secretly a Golden Retriever in a past life. “I’m hungry again.”

You hurriedly made your way to library, attempting to get the food as far away from the Avatar of Gluttony's reach. You gently knocked on the door to Lucifer’s study.

“Lucifer, it’s me. May I come in?”

“This had better be important.” Lucifer snarled from the inside. "Well, come in if you're coming in." You closed your eyes, took a deep breath, and braced yourself as you opened the heavy wooden door.

The only way to describe the scene in front of you was “Hot Mess”. Paper littered the table that had been set up in various stacks. Both Diavolo and Lucifer had slumped in their seats, hair disheveled, sleeves rolled up, jackets abandoned, and ties loosened. Even then, Diavolo managed a small, exhausted smile.

“What? Have you failed at wrangling my brothers?” Lucifer’s tone was deadly as he glared daggers through your soul. You could tell he was one word away from shifting into his demon form and shredding you to pieces. "Speak." 

“Lucifer.” Diavolo wearily gave him a warning.

“No...I, uh, I brought you food.” You squeaked meekly, and held the bag and box up. You distinctly heard the telltale growls of hunger rip through their stomachs as the smell hit them.

"Oh." Lucifer's features softened and he shifted in his seat.

“Are you truly a human? Or are you secretly an angel in disguise?” Diavolo chuckled as he cleared a spot for you to open up the boxes for them. “Is that Demonus from Hell’s Kitchen? I could kiss you right now. Absolutely devour you.” He looked up at you, dark circles rimming his eyes as his fingers boldly clasped your hand, stroking your knuckles before briefly bringing your hand to brush his cheek. 

“Lord Diavolo!” Lucifer reprimanded. You giggled.

“I’m flattered, Lord Diavolo. It’s just pizza and wings, and I’m just a human who knows you two would forget to eat.”

“You are not ‘Just a human'. Again, how many times will I ask you?” Diavolo sighed wearily as he shook his head. He released your hand, opting to reach for a slice of pizza. “Please, just Diavolo in private.”

Lucifer cleared his throat, scowling.

“Lucifer, am I not the crown prince?” Diavolo turned his flashing gold eyes to the surly demon. “I think I’m allowed to ask people how to address me.” His tone was one sterner, and certainly snappier, than you had ever heard him use with Lucifer before. Perhaps the sleep deprivation was finally getting to them. You shifted uncomfortably.

“Understood, my Lord.”

“Um, I’ll leave you to it.” You turned to leave before Lucifer called your name. You looked back at the exhausted demon.

“Thank you for the food.” Lucifer nodded.

“You’re welcome, Lucifer, L-.” You stopped yourself. “Diavolo.” 

With that, you scurried out of the study, closing the door behind you. Your body released a giant exhale. You hadn't even realized you had been holding your breath. 

The rest of the night passed without much excitement. It must have been close to eleven when the brothers (minus Levi. The gamer had shut himself in his room the moment you got home from dinner) finally got tired of whatever movie Asmo had chosen and began going to bed.

You stayed up though. Simeon had lent you a rather fascinating book, and you were lounging on the comfortable, oversized couch reading it. You had hauled your heavy backrest pillow and a blanket with you to truly snuggle up and read outside your room and in front of the fire for once.

You were rather grateful you had managed to convince Lucifer to purchase said couch in the sitting room. The L shape was nice and was ideal for whenever Belphie decided to claim your lap. It was wide enough for when Beel wanted to sprawl out or if you and Asmo sat with your legs crossed as he insisted on braiding your hair.

“You’re still up? It is alright for you to be up this late?” You jumped and looked up as the clock chimed midnight. Diavolo leaned against the door frame, utter fatigue etched into his handsome features. His tie and shoes were long gone and his shirt had been partially unbuttoned, exposing some of his tanned chest. You weren’t convinced he was leaning to appear casual, rather than to merely keep himself upright and collapsing from exhaustion.

“I caught up in a book. Are you alright?”

“Ah, one of your relaxing hobbies.” His words were beginning to sound less enunciated. “ ‘M fine.” He yawned. “It must feel nice to relax. We’re taking a break and I need to hide from Lucifer before he decides 5 minutes is more than enough.”

“Would you like to sit down?” You sat up, starting to feel concerned.

Diavolo nodded and trudged over, allowing himself to drop beside you heavily.

“Forgive my lack of decorum.” He murmured, fighting to keep his eyes open. His eyes glanced at your lap longingly before he turned his attention to the fire. His words from earlier echoed in your mind.

_“Perhaps someday I can experience that.”_

“L-, I mean Diavolo?” You caught yourself in time. He turned his face to you. “Would you like to lie down?”

“Only if your lap is my pillow.” Diavolo mumbled. He paused, face burning red as he realized he spoke aloud. “Ah, sorry. That was inappropriate. Forgive me. You said that was reserved for your friends-”

“Diavolo.” You stopped his panicked rambling. Normally you would have panicked as well, but concern at the level of sleep deprivation he was experiencing overrode that response. “I am fond enough of you to allow it. Please. I insist.” You settled back and motioned to your lap, pulling the blanket off. The prince’s eyes widened almost comically.

“Are you sure? I don’t wish to make you uncomfortable. Really, I’m fine, I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m too tired to know what I’m saying-” He stammered. God, it was adorable.

“Diavolo, you have yet to make me uncomfortable in all the time I’ve known you here. Now stop being stubborn, lay down, and let me help you relax.”

His face went even redder as he complied, turning his body to face away from you and towards the fire. You sighed as his head hit your lap and you felt him slowly relax. You could still feel the tension in his entire body though.

“May I touch you?” You ventured. You both were really pushing boundaries tonight. You knew it, he knew it, and you both knew Lucifer would either murder you or lecture you both for six hours later if he caught you.

“Yes.” His voice cracked as he answered quickly. He cleared his throat. “I mean, I’ll allow it.”

“Do you like having your back and head scratched or rubbed?” You asked.

“I…I don’t know. I occasionally get massages if that’s any indication.” He admitted. Dear god. The realization he had not had much affection in the way of touch hit you.

You quickly took to his scalp and began lightly scratching with your nails. A low moan emitted from his throat as his body finally began to fully unwind. You took your other hand and began working on the knots on his broad and muscular back, gently rubbing and scratching through the soft, silky material of his shirt. The demon lord seemed to melt into your touch.

“Is this ok?”

“More than ok.” He mumbled into your knees. “This is divine. Now I see why Belphegor enjoys this so much. I suppose now it is I who is getting spoiled rotten.”

It wasn’t long before it felt like he was completely limp on the couch. His breathing had slowed and began to sound like a bizarre type of purring. You nearly stopped. You had the Future King of Hell PURRING on your lap like some type of overgrown cat. Belphie did that occasionally, but you had written it off as some strange breathing thing. Within minutes though, the purring stopped and was replaced with light snoring.

Well crap. You hadn’t intended to knock him out. You supposed it couldn’t hurt to let him nap. You stopped scratching, covered him with the blanket as best you could without disturbing him, and turned your attention back to your book, fingers occasionally carding through Diavolo’s auburn hair.

_ -Three hours later- _

You stared down at him as the clock chimed three. Diavolo was still passed out, having now sprawled out in your lap, his arm wrapped around your waist. You hadn’t even noticed when that happened. Granted, Belphie and Mammon shifted around on your lap constantly, you learned to ignore it. So much for a small nap. You were starting to nod off as well. You were certain Lucifer had passed out as well given he hadn’t come searching for Diavolo. As tempted as you were, this was going to be highly inappropriate if anyone walked in. Especially Mammon. Even more so if he had his D.D.D. with him and were to snap a picture of the sleeping prince to sell. Begrudgingly, you pulled out your own D.D.D.

_Barbatos, I have a small problem I think only you can mend._

A few minutes later, the phone vibrated.

_At three am? I am deeply flattered, but must decline. I don’t do what you humans call “Booty calls”._

You nearly threw your D.D.D, face hot.

 _NO THAT WASN’T WHAT I MEANT GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!!!_ You typed out furiously. You quickly snapped a photo, sans flash, of Diavolo snoring in your lap.

_Oh. My deepest apologies. That does seem like a predicament. Give me one moment._

You blinked in confusion, your other hand absently stroking Diavolo’s hair again. You jumped slightly at a light knock on the doorframe.

“Forgive me, my deepest apologies once more.” Barbatos spoke quietly, face flushed as he entered the room. “Perhaps Asmodeus has been messaging me too often.” He approached and looked down. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen the Young Master so relaxed.” He commented, changing the subject. “Nonetheless, I was wondering when he would give in to sleep.” The butler sighed. He laid his hand on the sleeping prince’s shoulder and snapped his fingers. His weight suddenly lifted as Diavolo vanished. You gasped.

“Where..?”

“No worries. I simply transported him safely to his bed.” Barbatos smiled.

“Think we can do the same with Lucifer?” You looked up at him. “He’s going to be in worse shape if he’s passed out like I think he is.”

“Of course.” You rose and grabbed your blanket and followed Barbatos to Lucifer’s study.

Your prediction was right as you opened the door and saw the eldest brother face-down on some papers. Surely his back was going to hate him in the morning. Barbatos chuckled as he did the same as he had for Diavolo.

“I trust this will stay quiet and between us?” Barbatos’s voice told you it was not a request. You weren’t stupid. You knew exactly why no one could know the Prince had fallen asleep on human. Rumors would fly, his reputation would be on the line, and you’d be in danger.

“Of course. Thank you again, Barbatos.” Your eyes scanned the absolute mess the pair had left in their wake as Barbatos gathered Diavolo’s jacket, tie, shoes, and other belongings.

“No worries. Until tomorrow.” He smiled wryly and gave a half bow before vanishing.

You yawned and stretched. It was beyond bed time. You groaned and rubbed your neck before journeying back to your room.

‘What a weird night.’ You thought to yourself as you crawled into bed. As you lay back, the phantom weight of Diavolo lingered on your thighs. Perhaps you wouldn’t mind doing it again.


	2. Sheep's wool-Mammon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solomon's cooking is baaaaaaaaa-d news.

“I’m not thirsty, thanks though.” You put your hands up. Solomon was in front of you offering you a special blend of tea he had thrown together.

“Aw, I’m sorry to hear that. How about this slice of fluffy angel cake I made? Luke helped me.” Solomon waved a baggie containing a rather delicious looking treat in front of your face.

Ok. Your brain buzzed. If Luke helped make it, then maybe it was safe. You reached out your hand and took it.

Moment of truth. You opened the baggie and ripped off a piece of the sticky sponge pastry. You braced yourself for absolute torment the second you took a bite. Nothing. It tasted…delicious!

“Mmmm….” You smiled and hurriedly downed the rest. “Delicious! Did you have fun baking with Luke?”

“Oh yes! He gets so excited, it’s like watching a fluffy Chihuahua spinning around in circles, eager to go for a walk.”

“Oh my.” You giggled. Knowing Luke, he had probably watched Solomon like a hawk; making sure he didn’t alter his precious recipe.

After a few minutes, your stomach churned. Uh oh. You knew it. It was too good to be true. There was no way Solomon could have cooked something and not done something to it.

“So…How did you get it so light and fluffy?” You asked, starting to feel simultaneously burning up and freezing cold. The sooner you figured out what the hell he did to the food, the quicker you could run upstairs get to Satan or Lucifer to fix it.

“Luke did the mixing. But I, uh, _may_ have added a little something extra when his back was turned.” Solomon smiled, his tone letting you know he was trying to be cute with you.

“Something like what?” Your body itched. You knew you weren’t allergic to anything. Ugh, here came a headache.

“It’s a secret.” He winked and tapped your nose with his finger. “Hey there, are you alright?’ He finally seemed to take notice of your shaking.

“Solomon what did you do to that cake?” Your voice sounded raspy. Enough playing nice.You needed to know NOW.

“I-What’s going on? Are you ok?”

You stood up to try and yell for whatever brother was closest, but your vision blurred and the carpet of the house library rushed up to meet you.

...

You started coming around to the sounds of yelling.

“WHAT DID YA DO?”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know this would happen!”

“WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN BY USING MAGIC IN COOKING?”

“Ugh, you really messed up.”

“Hey, at least this time, it was a very cute mistake. Look how fluffy~.” You heard Asmo coo.

You opened your bleary eyes. Ugh. What happened? You’re still on the floor. Wow, thanks guys.

‘ _Mammon…_ ’ You had heard him first. You looked up to see him in demon form, holding Solomon by the throat with one hand and Asmo off with the other. Belphie, Levi, and Beel were standing back, telling Mammon he needed to drop Solomon. Oh no. Right now you wanted your guardian demon to help you up and get you to the couch instead of beating Solomon’s ass. You opened your mouth to call for the Avatar of Greed.

“Baaaa!”

Your eyes fully opened. What the fuck kind of noise had just come out of your mouth? It sounded like a…You found the courage to look down at your hands.

No. No no no no no no!

There weren’t hands.

There were golden hooves.

Sheep hooves.

“MMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!”

_-One Hour later-_

You sat trembling in Mammon’s arms, staring at the reflection in the mirror of Diavolo’s study. You were a sheep. Not even a normal human world sheep. A cute, lilac, puffball looking sheep complete with curly horns, and now you were roughly the size of a Jack Russell terrier.

How ironic you had been showing off some adorable Valais Blacknose sheep from Switzerland to Belphie the night before when talking about human realm animals, and now you were a miniature purple version of one. Asmo had whipped out a ribbon with a cute little bell out of nowhere and squealed about how adorable it was.

If you weren’t so freaked out, you would think you were the cutest damn thing on the planet.

“Oi, you’re fine for right now. The Great Mammon’s got ya.” The demon holding you sighed. “How the hell do ya manage to get yourself into these situations, huh?”

“I’m sorry.” Solomon apologized for the fourth time, still wincing and rubbing his throat from where Mammon had him. The first time, you had headbutted him in the crotch. You were getting sick of it, but knew he was probably just shaken up as well after being confronted that way.

Lucifer glared at the lot of you.

Mammon had instantly dropped Solomon the moment you started freaking out, screaming in your new sheep voice like you were being murdered, and flailing your new limbs around the floor, trying to stand and falling over. He scooped you up to try and settle you down.

It was Beel who suggested they find Lucifer or Satan. Mammon and Asmo had then started yelling about not telling Lucifer. Mammon was protesting because he didn’t want to get blamed for this mess, and Asmo because he wanted to cuddle you as long as possible. Levi had eventually been the voice of reason. Beel had been staring at you a little TOO intensely for comfort.

If you could, you would have cried.

Beel and Belphie had opted to stay home, leaving the office crowded with the rest. Of course Satan and Lucifer were having a meeting with Diavolo about an upcoming visit from Maddi to the Devildom when you attempted to find them.

“Baaaaaa.” You attempted to snuggle into Mammon’s chest. You didn’t want to be mutton for Beel’s dinner or on the receiving end of Lucifer’s wrath for embarrassing him in from of Lord Diavolo.

“Oi, oi, oi! Stop squirming or I might accidentally drop ya!”

“So…how do we fix this?” Levi asked the question you were dying to ask yourself. The self-proclaimed otaku had snapped photos once Asmo had tied the ribbon around you and started live blogging the entire experience.

“Well…it could wear off once the food is out of their system.” Satan tapped his chin thoughtfully. “How fast is a sheep’s digestive system again?”

“It shouldn’t be too terribly long given their new size.” Diavolo mused. “May I?” He reached out his hands.

“Baa.” You rolled your eyes. Fine, sure, whatever. Pass the sheep. You had already been passed around the brothers once before squirming out of Levi’s unstable grip to run to Mammon, knowing he at least wouldn’t drop you or keep trying to flip you over and bury his face into your belly like Asmo.

Mammon reluctantly surrendered you. Diavolo picked you up under your armpits. You flailed your hind legs, feeling vastly unsupported. This was not comfortable, Diavolo!

“Easy, easy. I got you.” Diavolo chuckled as he set you on his lap. He began examining you with interest, eventually starting to scratch your cheeks and behind your ears. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay this way? You’re awfully cute, soft, and fluffy.” He teased. The scratches felt good, but you really didn’t need them to know that.

“Baaaaaaaa.” You grumbled before trying to lightly nip his hand. You hoped that would convey your annoyance.

“Ok, I get the message.” The Prince laughed. “Yes, I think this is going to be a waiting game. It likely won’t last more than a few hours. If it were a simple spoken spell, I could easily reverse it, but since it was ingested…” Diavolo booped your nose and you glared at him. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it. You’re too cute.” He laughed once more.

You looked at Lucifer and bleated pathetically. Make him stop.

“Mammon, it’s your responsibility to guard them until the effects wear off. The last thing we need is Beel accidentally eating them.” Lucifer informed Mammon sharply. “After all, you were supposed to be the one watching them in the first place.”

“HEY! How is this MY fault? Solomon’s the one who fed them cursed cake!” 

“If you don’t want to, I gladly will.” Asmo started approaching you. You bleated again. The last thing you wanted was Asmo braiding your wool, clipping things on you, and snapping endless selfies with you at the moment.

“Back up, Asmo!” Mammon growled before scooping you up out of Diavolo’s lap and into his chest. “They’re MY human to watch! Er..sheep? Human? Ok Human, Human, Human!” He quickly corrected himself as you attempted to bite his ear.

You grunted. You really wanted to be put down. Now. You started squirming.

“Fine!” Mammon finally got the idea and set you down. You flopped down on the ground and huffed indignantly. Not being able to speak was beyond frustrating and you felt overwhelmed. You wanted to say to stop carrying you around like a Chihuahua, you wanted to go to your room until this spell wore off, you wanted to tell Solomon off about his cooking, and most importantly, you wanted people to stop trying to pet you. It’s like they forgot you were human to start with! It felt like you had been turned into a novelty plushie and now everyone wanted to ignore what you wanted and force you to cuddle.

“You should let me cut a little curl of your wool off so I can treasure it forever.” Asmo crouched down. Absolutely not. You growled, surprising yourself. You didn’t know sheep could growl. Huh, guess you learned something new every day. Asmo yelped and recoiled. “So mean!”

“Asmo, I suggest giving them some space.” Lucifer warned. “As for you Solomon, I expect you in my study to receive your punishment as soon as we leave here.” He glared at the sorcerer. Solomon gulped audibly.

Ok, enough. You had your answer, now it was time to go home. You got up, walked shakily, and went to sit by the door, bleating pointedly. Ok maybe being carried wasn’t so bad. You were still getting used to four legs. Diavolo laughed.

“I think they’re done with this. Let’s get you lot home.” He leaned back in his seat. “Let me know once you start to feel better.” You snorted and kicked the door.

Upon returning home, you quickly realized your dilemma looking at your bedroom door. It was shut and locked. Great. Perfect. You had locked it to keep Beel out of the stash of human world snacks Barbatos had gifted you the day before. Your key had been in your jacket pocket. You heard footsteps behind you and turned to see Mammon. As much as you wanted to be alone right now, you really needed help with doors.

“Problem, lamb chop?” Mammon smirked. You pinned your ears back. “Ok, ok, I’m just jokin’.” He walked over and tried to turn the knob. “Oi, why is it locked?” You pointed your leg towards the twin’s room as best you could.

“Ah, Beel. Alright, I guess I could let you come hang in my room until this wears off.” He shook his head. “My time and space doesn't come cheap though. It’ll cost yo- HEY!” He managed to dodge your headbutt in time and scooped you up by the armpits. You struggled again. “Listen up. Just because you’re cute doesn’t mean you can go around headbutting people because you’re in a mood! Ya got horns ya know!”

You bleated pathetically again, trying your very best to look apologetic and sorry. His face went red and he sighed.

“Ah hell…Fine. I’m sorry for teasin’ ya. This has gotta be stressful for you. Come on, let’s put a movie on.” He tucked you under his arm and walked to his door.

Mammon lightly tossed you onto his bed before kicking off his shoes and tossing his jacket over the back of the couch. You bounced as you hit the mattress. Wait. That was fun. You glanced at a distracted Mammon before beginning to jump around the bed.

“Hey! Stop that!” He turned around, hearing the bell around your neck jingling. You stuck your tongue out. “HEY!” Mammon started stalking towards you.

You meeped and tried to run on the bed sheets, sliding on the silky material. You meeped again as he threw himself down on the bed and seized you, squeezing you tightly against his abdomen.

“If ya won’t behave, you’re going to Asmo’s room and I can’t help you there.” He growled. Eep. “Ya going to stop bouncing around?”

“Baaa.”

“I hope that’s a yes.” He grunted. “Crap, you are cuddly. Didn’t notice that with my jacket on.” He muttered, burying his face in your wool. You bleated in protest as his sunglasses snagged. “Oops, sorry. Alright, alright. I’ll give ya space.” He released you and reached for the remote. “Heh, guess I get to pick the movie, don’t I?”

Two movies, a walk outside, and an awkward family dinner later, you lay on Mammon’s bed. The demon had fallen asleep next to you.

Dinner was weird. It felt like they were all talking around you, well except Mammon. Before dinner, you had discovered no one had actually gone grocery shopping due to the chaos. Mammon had looked up and sent a list of sheep safe foods to Barbatos, who sent over an assortment for dinner. He had set you on your normal chair and put a giant plate of the mixture of greens, veggies, and fruit in front of you. He had made sure to ask you simple yes or no answers during dinner which you could answer with either a head shake or nod. It felt great to be able to communicate in SOME way.

Somehow after returning to his room, you had ended up on his lap, allowing yourself to be pet during the last movie, and you just allowed yourself to be used as a teddy bear. You supposed it was to show your appreciation for dinner and letting you stay in his room for the night when you had yet to turn back, but deep down, maybe you just liked being cuddled like this. You let out a sigh and snuggled closer to the white haired demon before drifting off.

You were awoken by your body aching. Ugh…had Barbatos messed up and sent you something wrong? You put your hand on your face.

Wait.

HAND! NOT HOOF!

You examined your hand as best you could in the dark. How wonderful!

“Mams.” You spoke quietly, voice raspy once more. The demon was still clutching you tightly. You squirmed and turned around in his arms. He looked so peaceful while sleeping. You gently poked his face. “Mammon…wake up.”

He grunted what sounded like a no and held you tighter. You sighed and started stroking his hair and face. He mumbled your name in his sleep.

“…mmm….Love you.” He exhaled.

You snorted. He was too cute this way. You craned your neck to kiss his cheek before settling back down. Maybe you’d just stay here for the rest of the night. You closed your eyes and just started to drift back off before you felt Mammon start to wake up.

“Nnn..huh?” He mumbled. “What the…Oh, shit.” He released one of his arms around you and gently started tapping your cheek. “Hey, wake up human.”

You opened your eyes.

“What?”

“You uh…You’re human again.” He whispered to you. “You uh…ya don’t have to stay the night if you don’t wanna. Plus you’re uh, still in uniform.”

“Alright. I’ll go change.” You finally sigh. “But only if the Great Mammon crashes in my room. Never know if I’ll change back and need protecting from any big bad wolves.” You give a small smile as you feel the heat from his face and neck start to burn.

“I-uh-um…” He cleared his throat. “I guess the Great Mammon will escort you then.”

You giggled, grateful for your guardian demon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Solomon's cooking triggers my fight or flight response. I hope you enjoyed!


	3. I'm not your Doll - Asmo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asmo makes some observations after seeing your human world social media. Reader is AFAB in this chapter.

“So what was your wardrobe like in the human world?” Asmo twirled his finger around a strand of your hair. “A cute girl like you must have had a cute wardrobe.”

“Well…” You rested your D.D.D. on your lap. “I thought it was cute. But it’s not probably your definition of cute.”

“What does that even mean?” Asmo leaned forward. “Show me!”

“Honey, we’re in the Devildom. My clothes are in my apartment in the human world. That is, unless the landlord emptied my apartment and threw out all my belongings.” You could cry thinking about it.

“I wouldn’t worry about it. Lord Diavolo and Barbatos made sure to pay your rent for the next year and a half. I heard Lucifer mention they also needed to pay your utilities when you first got here.” Asmo smiled.

“I know they gave me an account to pay my car and other insurance and such.” You thought about it. “Remind me to write them a thank you note for that.”

“Will do! Ooh, I have the perfect stationary for that! So…show me pictures of you from the human world!”

“I don’t think I can, Asmo. You know my phone charger is the one thing non-compatible down here.”

“What about your laptop then?” He pressed. You remained silent.

It wasn’t like you were EMBARRASSED of your life in the human world. It just kind of felt like you wanted to keep it separate. As much as you wanted to tell your parents and friends where exactly you were when you got the rare opportunity to video chat with them, you didn’t want to be committed the moment you got sent home. So you came up with the brilliant excuse your office had transferred you to some remote location in Eastern Europe to scout out various investors. Lucifer had graciously placed a curse on them via the computer to believe it. You didn’t know he could actually do that, but you weren’t going to question it.

“Hellllo?” Asmo waved a hand in front of you.

“Sorry, I’m thinking.”

“Think while you pull up your socials on your laptop. I wanna see EVERYTHING!” Asmo beamed. Maybe Asmo would be understanding. While you did want to keep things private, you also wanted to be able to share it with SOMEONE.

“Um…Asmo? Please don’t get offended, but if I showed you, would you not tell the others that you did?”

“Wha?” Asmo recoiled in surprise. “Of course!” He beamed once more. “Secrets are my specialty.” He winked. Somehow you doubted that.

“Don’t make me use the pact Asmo. I’m serious.”

“Wow! Ok! I am too.” He held his hands up. “I’m a little hurt that you don’t trust me.”

“Asmo, you ratted Mammon out to Lucifer for stealing some grapes out of the bag at the market last week.”

“That’s different! He’s a scumbag and can’t be allowed to get away with produce theft!”

“Asmo, everyone samples the grapes!” You threw a pillow at him.

“Watch it! I’ll bruise.” Asmo pouted. “I’ll feel better if you show me you human world socials though."

You groaned.

“Fine.” You got up and turned on your laptop. “Just stay out of my DMs.”

“Ooh, do you have some particularly spicy messages?” Asmo’s eye glinted mischievously.

“Nothing like that. I just want my private conversations to remain private. That’s all.”

“It’s just me though.” Asmo pouted once more.

“If I share it with you, it’s no longer considered private and it defeats the purpose.” You pulled up your accounts and passed him the device.

Asmo clapped his hands with glee.

“Ooh, who’s that?” Asmo scrolled through your news feed without waiting for you to answer. “No wait, I want to see your photos most of all.”

You swore the demon in front of you was like a little kid on Christmas.

“Oh honey.” He looked up at you. “You are taking all the clothes we bought you and throwing out those old clothes.

“Hey! I LIKE my wardrobe thank you very much! Especially that outfit.” You huffed. You missed your old, worn zip up sweatshirts, your cozy leggings, your old jacket covered in patches and pins that seemed to always smell like home, and ripped jeans.

But most of all, you missed your one pair of comfy ass athletic shorts with the pockets you wore to lounge around in at home. You always wore them with an oversized sweatshirt with your favorite sport’s team logo on it. You couldn’t count the memories with your friends in your apartment hanging out or making convenience store runs for late night ice cream with them while wearing the combo. It coincidentally was the outfit in the picture Asmo was critiquing. 

It wasn’t like you weren’t grateful for the clothes Asmo, Mammon, Lord Diavolo, and Lucifer picked out for you. It just felt weird dressing in such high fashion Devildom brands like Wersace, Majolish, and Coco Bunel on a regular basis when back home, those types of brands were only something you glanced at in the store front windows while scurrying by, knowing you’d never be able to afford that type of stuff.

You just kind of wished you were allowed to pick something out without feeling like you were a doll being dressed up. When shopping with Lucifer, it felt like he pushed you to get the classiest options, mostly so people wouldn’t talk about how you looked less than worthy of staying with the seven of the most powerful demons.

Mammon usually let you have pretty free reign, but tended to pull things from whatever designer paid him the most from his photoshoots and promos.

Asmo, however would rush off the second you stepped foot in whatever store and came back with an armful of clothes and would shove you in a changing stall. While the stuff he did pick out fit you nicely, it would be nice to just have the three let you pick something out yourself without nitpicking, worrying about brand promotions or fussing.

Diavolo was a whole different story. No, the designers met with him themselves, showed him private collections and went from there. When he took you with him, he tended to leave you to the mercy of the designers who fussed with your body, sketched, pulled at your current clothes, measured, measured again, muttered, and disappeared. Some time later, they somehow reappeared, whipping out boxes with clothing so gorgeous and fit so perfectly, you couldn’t say no. You reserved those outfits for the sole purpose of visiting the castle.

Maybe you should just drag Beel out shopping. He’d certainly probably let you pick out whatever you wanted as long as you stopped by Madam Devian after.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Asmo tucked a stray strand of hair gently behind your ear.

“It’s…” You wanted to say nothing. “Asmo, next time we go shopping, can I pick where we go? I just want something someone else hasn’t chosen for me. Not that I don’t like what everyone has gotten me, it’s just-”

Asmo’s finger pressed against your lips, shushing you.

“Enough said. I’d love to take you to wherever you want!”

You blinked, not expecting that.

“Darling, I just want to see you happy.” He sighed. “I just picked whatever I liked because you’re so new to Devildom fashion, we couldn’t send you out looking like a hot mess when being seen with such fashionable people as Lord Diavolo and I in public. Granted, I’m beautiful enough they probably wouldn’t have noticed y-”

You drowned him out by coughing loudly.

“Fine then, be that way.” He sniffed.

“Sorry, Asmo.”

“That’s better. Now if you’re not busy, let’s go now!” Asmo shut your laptop and placed it to the side. “But, on one condition. You have to model all the clothes you get for me. Privately.” He winked.

“Don’t be lewd!”

.....

A few days later, you sat gaming with Levi in his room when a knock came at the door. 

“Password?” Levi called out never taking his eyes off the screen.

“How about open up or you’re taking Cerberus for a walk? Is that the correct password?” Lucifer sounded massively annoyed. Levi yelped and jumped up to open the door.

“L-Lucifer! What brings you here?”

Lucifer looked past him at you.

“Barbatos handed me this as I was leaving a meeting with Lord Diavolo. He said to give it to you.” Lucifer tossed a brown paper package tied neatly with string with a note attached, addressed to you.

“Thanks.”

“Are you going to open it?” He asked expectantly.

You opened the note attached to the string.

_“A little bat told me you would appreciate this. -B”_

Huh? You untied the string and opened the box. Staring back at you was the logo of your favorite sports team.

No, it couldn’t be. You hastily pulled it out to find your favorite sweatshirt. A pile of fabric fell to the floor. No way. You picked it up. It was unmistakably your favorite pair of athletic shorts. How?

“Asmo told Barbatos about your conversation the other day. You’ll find a box with a few more articles of your human clothing in your room. He said he wanted to pick out your outfit once more if you’d indulge him and forgive him for ‘spilling the beans’.” Lucifer smiled slightly as he watched your eyes well up as you clutched your sweatshirt to your chest. It still smelled like home.

Sure, it wasn’t upscale, or trendy, or even classy, but at that moment, you were so grateful. You giggled. You guessed now Asmo would have that fashion show he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! New chapter coming soon!


	4. Homesick - Diavolo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an incident makes you realize you're homesick, Diavolo decides you need reprieve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Crap, hang in there, this is a long one. I promise it's not favoritism. Ok maybe a little. Diavolo doesn't get enough fluffy love.  
> This chapter is a bit of a continuation of the previous chapter. The other two are stand alones. 
> 
> Reader is AFAB.

You were going to kill Beel.

Ok, not actually kill him, but at least attempt to string him up.

Wait, you weren’t capable of that. FINE, you’d rat on him to Lucifer like a little tattletale.

You were PISSED. The one time you forgot to lock your door this week was the day you forgot to hide the precious human world snacks Barbatos had given you and left them out on your desk. Beel had come looking for you while you were in the bathroom and found them first.

Beel stood there eating, finally having noticed you.

“Oh, hey. These are really good. Where did you get them?” He crushed the rest of the bag of chips and poured them in his mouth.

“Barbatos got them for me as a reward for getting a perfect score on my last exam.” You seethed through clenched teeth. “From my favorite human world farmer’s market. The Amish store owner makes them for a limited run once a year for a week.” You knew your blood pressure was sky high. You had been so excited when you found Barbatos slipped them and several other things in your bag last week. You had opened them yesterday and were planning on savoring them as long as possible before they went stale.

Your eyes settled on the desk behind him to see wrappers from the rest of your snacks laying there.

“That would explain why I’m not familiar with that flavor.”

“Get out of my room, Beel.” You began shaking slightly with rage.

Beel’s eyes widened and dread set in as he felt the murderous rage beginning to roll off you. He muttered a quick apology before leaving. You took a deep breath. ‘It’s only food. It’s only food.’ You closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose.

You exhaled and went to assess the damage. A giant rice crispy treat, kettle corn, and the chips had been things from the market. The others were just store bought sweets like the peanut M&Ms, Swedish Fish, and beef jerky. You sank into your chair and sighed heavily. You really, really wanted to save those and maybe share the Swedish Fish with Mammon.

You had been planning on ordering a snack box of some sort once you had saved up enough for cross-world shipping and share them with the house and maybe Lord Diavolo and Barbatos if they so desired.

Devildom fare was…ok. You avoided certain things like batwing soup, newts, spiders and other things you suspected would make you very sick. You had also learned to just not ask what it was you were eating. When dining out, you had become a regular in Hell’s Kitchen since it was one of the only non-dessert places in town that served human world food. Having food you were used to like a simple turkey sandwich was a relief after a long day. You really missed just cooking the human world food yourself, but human world ingredients were insanely priced in the Devildom, leaving you to make do with alternate ingredients. Barbatos had taken pity on you and would bring you various snacks occasionally.

Speaking of Hell’s Kitchen, you brightened up a bit, remembering the salad you picked up that morning for lunch while running errands. A salad with fruits, soft tangy goat cheese, nuts, and seeds, and the most special treat: Chicken. They had a similar bird in the Devildom. Roc. It didn’t quite taste like chicken. It tasted more like a mix between turkey and duck. At least you had labelled it and hidden it in the back of the fridge.

You got up and trotted out to go retrieve it. Oh boy. You never thought you’d see the day you were excited about salad and chicken. You got to the kitchen to see Levi leaning against the counter eating. What a rare sight.

“Ohayoooooo.”

“Taking a quick break?” 

He nodded as you beelined past him to the fridge. You hummed as you dug for it. Where was it? Ugh! Wait. You picked up the post-it note with your name on it from the very back. No.

“Hey, does this roc taste weird to you?” Levi walked over and held out a piece of your chicken.

…

“So let me get this straight.” Lucifer rubbed his temples as Beel, Mammon and Levi hung upside down. “You’re saying Beel ate your snacks, then Levi ate your salad, so you started crying and Mammon walked in, saw you, tried to fight Levi over it, and Lotan ended up being summoned?” Did I get that right?”

You nodded, soaking wet and sniffling.

“Mammon, you’re the worst.” Asmo shook his head.

“HEY! LEVI’S THE ONE WHO SUMMONED LOTAN!”

“You’re both lucky I put waterproofing spells on the bedrooms and library.” Satan growled.

“Why am I up here again?” Beel asked.

“You started it by eating things that weren’t yours Beel.” Asmo sighed. “You know better than that.”

“But I was hungry and I thought I would just buy more to replace it later.”

You walked out of the room to go shower, get dressed and maybe go for a walk. You looked at the floor, watching the water seep up around your feet with every step on the carpet. You didn’t even notice someone walk in the door until you literally ran into them next to the stairs.

“Woah there!” Diavolo quickly grabbed your shoulders to steady you. “I heard there was an incident so I came over to help. Are you crying?” His face darkened. “What happened? Are you alright?” He gently tilted your chin up to look at him with one hand, the other still on your shoulder.

“I’m ok. I just need to take a shower.” You glanced away from his piercing gold eyes.

His face became unreadable. You knew he knew you were lying and you weren’t ok. Finally the Prince of the Devildom exhaled and released you.

“When you’re ready to discuss it, I’ll be here to listen. Go get warmed up, your skin is freezing. We don’t want you catching a cold. I’ll have Barbatos prepare some tea for you when you’re done.” He gave you a reassuring smile.

“Thank you Lord Diavolo. I mean, Diavolo.”

“Of course. Now go before you get sick.”

You quickly made it to your room and locked the door behind you. Hot tears threatened to shed again as you made your way to the bathroom. You were grateful for the spell Satan had set up. The floor was bone dry in your room. You peeled off your sopping wet shirt, bra, leggings, underwear and socks, wringing them out and draping them over the clawfoot tub. You were going to have to wash the salt water out of them later.

The shower was warm and soothing. Asmo had hung up some type of Devildom eucalyptus the night before in your shower, squealing about how it created a spa atmosphere and how you HAD to try it and give him a review for his devilgram. You admitted it did smell nice.

You felt foolish. It was just food. The emotional voice in the back of your head spoke up. No, it was not JUST FOOD. It was a rare connection to your life back home, a ray of normalcy in this whole situation. You guess you just had to admit it to yourself. You were homesick. The realization was enough to make you start crying again in the shower.

Eventually, you forced yourself out of the warmth and back into your room, digging out your favorite sweatshirt and shorts. You hesitated as your hand hovered over the knob, feeling a little self-conscious. These shorts were a bit short to just be walking around the house in if Diavolo was still there. You snorted to yourself. Whatever, they covered your ass and didn’t show your underwear. That was enough for you as you opened the door. Lucifer could deal with it for one day. Besides, you had a hunch Diavolo wouldn’t mind. Your heart beat nervously. You shook your head. No. Thoughts of the Crown Prince were OFF LIMITS. You noticed the carpet was dry at least. Your D.D.D pinged. You pulled it out of your pocket to see a message from Lucifer.

“If you’re dressed, come down to my study please.” Great.

You made your way down. Mammon stood in the hall on a ladder, wiping down portraits with a towel.

“Yo. You doin’ better?” Mammon clambered down to meet you.

“A bit. I’m sorry for causing all this.”

“Don’t worry about it. Shit happens. But geeze, humans are so emotional.” He poked your forehead.

“Says the demon who cries at commercials with puppies.” You snorted, a slight smile forming on your lips.

“HEY! I DO NOT!”

“I’d love to sit here and list every time I’ve seen you cry, but I need to go to Lucifer’s study, and you need to dry off those portraits before they get damaged.”

“Whatever. He’s not going to yell at you. I think he threw Beel and Levi in there when he cut them down.” Mammon grunted as he climbed back up the ladder. “Later!”

You finally arrived at the door and knocked.

The door opened, Barbatos smiling at you. The first thing you saw beyond the butler was Beel and Levi hanging next to the fireplace, the second was Diavolo and Lucifer sitting down with tea, paying them no mind.

“Ah, there you are.” Lucifer motioned you to sit across from him. No sooner than you sat, Barbatos was at your side, pouring you a fragrant tea.

“Thank you, Barbatos.” You murmur before taking a sip.

“Now, down to business.” Lucifer snapped his fingers and his brothers crashed to the floor behind him. “What do you two have to say for yourselves?” Beel and Levi disentangled themselves, groaning. Beel was on his feet first and approached you, shuffling his feet slightly.

“Sorry for eating your food.” He looked genuinely apologetic and you felt a generous portion of your rage subside.

“Apology accepted.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry for eating your salad.” Levi mumbled, not looking at you.

“And?” Lucifer’s eyes snapped to him.

“And I’m sorry for summoning Lotan. I understand if you never want to talk to me again. I’m just a useless, gross otaku, who is on Mammon’s level by taking your food. I shouldn’t have even left my room today.” He began rambling.

“Levi.” You cut him off. “It’s going to be ok. Of course I still want to talk to you. Also, I‘ve told you you’re not worthless or gross.” You sighed.

“In addition to their apologies, they will both be in charge of buying you your own mini-fridge for your room.” Lucifer added before taking a sip of tea, eyes briefly flitting to your bare legs. “Now, both of you get to go assist Mammon in drying the paintings off.”

“Yes, Lucifer.” They both mumbled.

“Good. Barbatos will supervise. Get moving.” Lucifer growled. “I’ll be there momentarily.” Barbatos smiled and opened the door for the pair to shuffle through, following behind them.

You watched them before Diavolo spoke your name. You turned your attention back to him.

“Are you feeling better?”

“Yes.” You took another drink.

“I would still like to have a conversation with you. Privately, if you don’t mind Lucifer.” Diavolo glanced at Lucifer.

“As you wish.” Lucifer bristled and left.

“Now then,” Diavolo turned his body and patted the empty seat next to him. “Will you indulge me and sit next to me?” You nodded and switched seats to the chair beside him. “Thank you.”

“What did you want to talk about?”

“Lucifer filled me in on what happened earlier. I want to know how you are feeling and how I can help you.” He leaned forward and looked you in the eyes. It felt like Diavolo was staring into your soul. Then again, he was a demon and probably was.

“I…”

Slowly but surely, you found yourself spilling your guts to the demon Lord. He never stopped to interrupt you, and you were grateful.

“Tell me, how can I help ease this home sickness?” Diavolo asked.

You sat and thought about it before looking up at him.

“I want one day in the human world. I want to check my apartment, make sure my car is ok, grab a few things, take a walk in the sun around town, and go to the grocery store to not only get some food that is off limits to my housemates, but also to make a human world meal for everyone.” You were shocked at your sheer boldness in your request. Diavolo seemed taken aback as well.

He looked down at his cup of tea, pondering. The longer he sat absorbed in thought, the more nervous you were getting. Did you insult him? Perhaps the clothes Asmo had asked Barbatos for was enough and you were pushing it with his generosity. You were ready to speak, tell him never mind, to forget about it and bolt.

“One day you say? You would need an escort.” He finally broke his silence, a serious look on his face. He looked up at you. “Who would you have to ensure you don’t run off and abandon the program? Lucifer? Solomon? Beelzebub?” Your heart suddenly ached at the realization he feared you would do just that, and that you weren’t happy here.

“You.” The word tumbled from your lips before you could stop it. His eyebrows went up in surprise.

Shit.

Your face flushed red as you began to scramble for words.

“I mean, I think it only fair for you to come since you’re the one who set up this entire exchange program, so you should be the one to come see the human world.” You quickly started rambling, not noticing the blush creeping across his face. “Plus you’ve always spoken about how you’d like to see the human world for yourself more closely and by going with me, you can be more fully immersed for the day rather than just observing. I’m truly happy here and grateful for everything you, Lucifer, and the others have done for me, but please, Diavolo. Please come with me for one day, so I can show you why I feel this way.”

You finally stopped, heart racing. You swallowed hard.

Diavolo blinked at you. Finally, his expression relaxed.

“I have meetings the next few days. But after that, I am yours. To escort around the human world, that is.” He quickly added and cleared his throat.

“Really?” A smile spread across your face.

“Truly.” Diavolo chuckled, a smile now forming on his face instead. “Shall we depart Friday morning, then?”

“That sounds wonderful. Thank you so much. Thank you.” You wanted to throw your arms around him and hug him. You stopped yourself, poured yourself another cup of tea and took a sip.

“You are welcome. It’s a date then.”

You choked on your tea. Wait. Date?! Diavolo laughed as you coughed.

“You’ll have to assist me in finding some reasonable human attire.” He rested his elbow on the back of the chair, placing his chin on his fist. “Something to help me blend in.”

Oh geeze.

_-Friday-_

You were buzzing with excitement. The week couldn’t be over sooner. You had gotten Diavolo’s measurements from Levi, then compared with Beel. Beel had somewhat reluctantly handed over some shirts, while Asmo and you went and bought the Demon Lord his first pair of jeans and a few other things to be able to help Diavolo attempt to blend in.

“So? Do I pass for human?” Diavolo beamed as you walked into the entry hall of the castle. You had to smile as you pretended to inspect him. He had picked an open flannel shirt with a black t-shirt underneath from the stack of Beel’s clothes along with the jeans you had bought. Perfect!

“Yes, you pass. For now.” You giggled.

“I had Barbatos create a portal earlier.” Diavolo seemed to be just as excited as he rolled up his sleeves. You couldn’t help but stare at the black tattoos on his forearms, accented by the woven leather bracelets Asmo had tossed into the box. They were exactly like the gold that adorned his skin when he was in his full demon form. Perhaps they changed when he did. You shook yourself from your thoughts. _‘OFF LIMITS.’_ You reminded yourself.

“Nice.” You had your grocery list in hand, a list of what you wanted from the apartment, the list Levi and his brothers had shoved in your hand, and a list of places you could take Diavolo. You yourself had chosen your outfit from your human clothes in your closet.

“Shall we?” Diavolo offered his arm. You smile wider as you took his arm and felt yourself being transported. You shut your eyes and laughed at the whooshing sensation around you until you felt your feet touch the ground.

You opened your eyes to see your apartment living room. Everything looked the same, albeit a bit tidier. You gasped at your flourishing plants.

“I thought they’d be long dead by now.” You nuzzled a leaf of your now giant peace lily.

“Forgive me for neglecting to tell you, but Barbatos has been stopping in occasionally to water your plants and dust. He insisted keeping your plants alive was the least he could do.” Diavolo glanced around. “So, this is your home?”

“Yes! You can look around if you wish. Make yourself at home! I should probably clean out the fridge. It’s likely disgusting at this point.” You grimaced. You walked over to the kitchen area as Diavolo began examining photos on the shelf. You took your long dead phone from your pocket and plugged it in to the charger still hooked up on the counter.

You were pleasantly surprised by the fact it appeared Barbatos had taken the liberty of cleaning out the fridge, a sigh of relief making itself audible. It appeared he left the beer and other long term items in there though. The freezer was still untouched. You began to examine the cabinets, half expecting to find roaches or mice had moved in. Nothing. No moldy bread, only non-perishables tightly wrapped up to protect them. Alright, you were getting Barbatos something nice to thank him.

You supposed it was best to start gathering some stuff. You opened the closet to find a bag to put things in and headed to your room. Aside from the bed being made, flourishing plants, and lack of dust, Babatos had left your room alone for the most part. That was a relief.

Diavolo followed and leaned against the door frame.

“You can come in if you want.” You glanced up at him. “Sorry, this is the boring part.”

“I understand.” His eyes roved over everything. “Is this your family?” He gingerly picked up a photo frame.

“Oh, yes. It’s my parents, grandparents, and siblings.” You held your hand out to take it and put it in the duffel bag.

“And these are your friends?”

“Yep! Lively bunch, right?” You smiled at the photo of you and your friends sprawled out on someone’s couch at a party. You might leave that one here. It would probably make Asmo and Mammon jealous. Actually, no. They could deal with it.

“Do you still talk to them?”

“As often as I can.” You responded as you filled your bag with the rest of your underwear drawer.

You moved to the bookshelf and decided maybe there were one or two books Satan might like.

A few minutes later and you had the bag full of things from your room and bathroom.

“We’re coming back here, right?”

“Yes, it’s where the portal has been set up.” Diavolo confirmed.

“Ok. Then I’ll put this on the couch.” You dragged it out and tossed it there. “Ready to go for a ride?” You grabbed your abandoned handbag on your table. It had not come with you to the Devildom, but your keys and wallet remained inside. You went and grabbed your phone. It had turned back on and you saw you were absolutely flooded with texts. Good god. You’d deal with those later.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I’m driving. Word of warning, we might need to jump the car battery though.”

Diavolo looked mildly bewildered as he followed you wordlessly, wondering what exactly he had gotten himself into. The sunlight hit you as you walked outside. You smiled as you felt the early warm morning rays on your skin. Oh! How you missed this. Diavolo squinted as he raised his hand up to block some of the light. Oh yeah, the whole living in darkness thing.

“I have sunglasses you can use in the car to help with the brightness.” You reassured him.

You found the car. Funny, you swore you parked in a different spot. You unlocked the door with a beep. Diavolo looked a bit unsure.

“It’s ok, get in and buckle in.” You reassured him. You got in as well and assisted him with the seatbelt and handed him the spare pair of sunglasses. “Alright, moment of truth.” You sighed. You pressed on the break and turned the key. The engine roared to life to your shock. “Let me guess, Barbatos?” You looked at Diavolo who glanced away.

You hooked your phone up and scrolled through your playlists before settling.

“Are you ready for some human world culture?” You chuckled before hitting play.

Diavolo’s eyes widened as the rock music started blaring from the speakers.

You reversed out of the spot. You felt a little bit of guilty satisfaction with the utter culture shock you were throwing him into. You turned out of the complex, headed towards the highway.

“Where to first?” Diavolo raised his voice to be heard over the music.

“Into town. Or rather, the city.” You responded, grinning as you decided to take mercy and turn the volume down a bit. “Gotta take the highway in though. Hang on!” You merged on the road and began to pick up speed to match the other cars.

“Isn’t this a little fast?” Diavolo looked a tad concerned.

“Other people are passing us.” You pointed out. “We’re fine. Sit back and relax. Just enjoy the morning scenery.” You chuckled.

Diavolo settled back against the seat, still looking nervous.

“Here, if you’re still freaked out by the speed, we have these handles up here.” You gestured to what your family affectionately called the “Oh Shit” handles.

“What do they do?”

“Nothing. You can hang on to them when going around curves and such. Some people just like to hang on to them as an extra feeling of security.” You smiled at him as he hesitantly took hold of one. “I’m surprised you’re taking this so well. Don’t you guys have cars in the Devildom? I mean, Mammon has one in his room.”

“Yes, but with how the transit system is set up in our cities, the roads aren’t often car friendly. The train is more often utilized.” Diavolo responded. “Plus, a good portion of our population is flight capable, and choose that as their method of travel if the weather is agreeable. Well, that and magic I suppose.”

“You included?” You lightly jested.

“You caught me.” He chuckled. “Honestly, I want to update our transit system, but I’ve been met with a bit more backlash than I anticipated.”

“That’s understandable. It seems resisting change when things have been a certain way for so long is pretty universal, no matter what realm you’re in.”

Things fell quiet for a moment, the song playing in the background changing once more.

“So…what’s this piece called?” Diavolo spoke awkwardly. “The style certainly sounds bit similar to some of the music we have in the Devildom.”

“The song? Smells Like Teen Spirit.”

“Oh. What’s it about? Is there a story?”

“No one knows.” You chuckled. “They’ve been arguing about that since Kurt Cobain wrote it.”

“I see. So no one knows the meaning?”

“Sometimes, music is more something that clicks in your brain. Like, it doesn’t have to have a meaning.” You tried to put it.

“I see.” He repeated, seeming to lose himself in thought.

“Diavolo, do you listen to music?”

“Unfortunately, I have not had much opportunity to explore more current music genres.” He sighed deeply. “Barbatos tends to keep classical around more often than not. The only time I really get to experience otherwise is when I’m at The Fall.”

“I’m sorry. We’ll have to fix that. That is, if you want.”

“I’d very much like that. I don’t mind this music at all.” Diavolo smiled, glancing out the window. “You have such beautiful land here.”

“Thank you.”

“So where are you taking me first?” He repeated his earlier question.

“You have a record player in the castle, correct?”

“Correct.”

“Well then, I guess we’re going to get you some music from the record store.” You looked at him as he lit up with a smile. He was too adorable for a demon lord. _‘OFF LIMITS.’_ “Is that alright?”

“I look forward to it.”

Soon enough, you had found parking near where you usually hung around in the city, locked the car, and had begun walking to the best record store you could remember. The work day had started, and the city had begun to start its day. As you stood outside the second hand record store, an idea popped into your head.

“We should document your visit for Lucifer and Barbatos.” You giggled. “Is that alright?”

“I was just thinking the same.” Diavolo pulled out his D.D.D. “Would you like to join me in these pictures? Forgive me, I’m not the greatest at what Asmo calls ‘Selfies’.” He confessed.

“I got you.” You laughed as you pulled out your own D.D.D. “Come here.”

Something felt so wrong yet hilarious about snapping such casual photos with the ruler of Hell. But here, you supposed he was just Diavolo.

You breathed in the familiar smell of vinyl and cardboard as you entered the shop. To others, it might look like a grimy, small, possibly rat infested hole in the wall, but you had never found a more diverse selection in other stores. You suddenly stifled a laugh as you imagined Lucifer’s expression at the fact you took Lord Diavolo to a place like this.

“What’s so funny?” Diavolo nudged you.

“I just was imagining Lucifer’s expression when we tell him about our adventures today.”

Diavolo let out a short bark of laughter, briefly grabbing the attention of the heavily tattooed and pierced cashier.

“Let’s get you started. Hmmmm…Let’s get you some classics and go from there.” You started excitedly, practically skipping to the boxes upon boxes of records.

You could have spent hours in the store. You had pulled out some headphones from your bag and let Lord Diavolo listen to some clips of music from the various records both you and the now intrigued cashier pulled. You managed to get some sneaky shots of Diavolo pouring over the boxes of records, lost in thought. Finally, you had narrowed it down to a small, neat stack. You had stopped Diavolo from pulling out his wallet.

“Please, my treat.” You smiled.

“Righteous.” The cashier nodded as they accepted your payment. “Enjoy your musical journey, my brother, sister. Pound it.” The cashier held their fists out. Diavolo looked confused.

“You fist bump.” You whispered as you demonstrated.

“Ah.” Diavolo seemed still slightly bewildered but followed suit.

“There we go! Ya got it, ya got it! Come on back whenever you need to stock back up. Peace y’all.” They nodded as you thanked them and turned to leave.

The two of you had managed to find one of the diners you liked nearby for lunch. Diavolo had excitedly started snapping pictures of his burger.

“Sorry it’s not exactly Ristorante Six.” You started.

“Nonsense, it’s wonderful! Human cuisine is truly something else.”

“Shhh...keep your voice down.” You quickly glanced around to be sure none of the waitresses or other patrons had heard him.

“Sorry.” He whispered barely audible, smirk plastered on his face. “Is this better? Shall we continue so no one can suspect us on our secret mission?”

“Diavolo!” You collapsed into a fit of giggles. He grinned wider as he took another bite of his burger.

Movement caught your eye. Two young women in the corner booth kept glancing your way, muttering to themselves. You felt self-conscious almost immediately.

“I see them.” Diavolo murmured. “Ignore them, it’s alright. Let them stare.” He winked at you and you felt your cheeks heat up.

You continued kept an eye on them as Diavolo pulled out cash to pay before you could stop him. You didn’t even question where he got that from. You insisted on the tip at least.

As you exited, you paused to figure out where you were going next, whether the anime store Levi wanted something from was closer than the tea shop you had decided to stop in for something for Barbatos.

“My Lord?” You heard a quiet voice from behind you. You and Diavolo turned quickly to see the two ladies from inside.

“I told you! I told you it was him, Tabitha!” The taller one hissed as she shook the other’s arm. You vaguely recognized symbols on their phone cases in their hands. Shit. Witches.

“My Lord Diavolo,” The shorter one named Tabitha smiled. “To what do we owe the honor of hosting you in our fair city?”

“I-I think you’ve mistaken-” You started. Nope, Lucifer would murder you if there was in incident with witches.

“No, no.” He gently stopped you. He smiled genially at the pair. God, that smile could melt the heart of Scrooge himself you thought. No, stop it. “I’ll handle this.”

Suddenly, the world around you stopped. What the fuck?

“It’s ok.” Diavolo turned his smile to you. “I just momentarily stopped time. Here, let’s make sure our friends don’t have photos on their phones.” He gently glanced at their screens, scrolling through.

“H-how is this possible?” You whispered as you reached out to a bee, mid-flight.

“They’re clean. Come, let’s walk.” He held out his arm to you. “No worries, I’ll restart time once we’re out of sight.” You took it, still dazed as you walked the direction of the tea shop. You kicked yourself mentally. You had seemed to forget, this was no ordinary person next to you, but one of the most powerful demons in the world. You were almost there when the pair of you ducked into an alley, away from the public eye. The world flew to life once more.

“Forgive me for frightening you so suddenly.” He looked almost sad.

“I-it’s alright. It wasn’t frightening, it was just so sudden.”

That’s right. He wasn’t just Diavolo. He was a Prince. And as the voice reminded you again, off limits.

After collecting a little something for everyone and taking even more pictures, laughing, talking, and becoming more comfortable with each other again, you headed back to the car without further incidents. As you left the parking structure, your D.D.D started buzzing, Mammon’s contact picture flashing on the screen.

You put him on the car bluetooth speaker.

“You’re on speaker, behave.” You warned.

“Hey! I’m always on my best behavior.” You snorted and rolled your eyes. “I HEARD THAT!”

“What do you need Mams?”

“Listen, where are you guys?”

“We’re in the car, headed back to the apartment to go grocery shopping for dinner tonight why?”

“Is your place in the city?”

“No, why?”

“Good. Because, according to Asmo, some witches are buzzing and in a tizzy over two of ‘em swearin’ up and down they saw Lord Diavolo in person at a human diner chowin’ down on loaded cheese fries with some human. Thankfully, the majority of them don’t believe it, but some are talking about seeing if they can spot you guys around town. You best get out of the city fast before Maddi gets wind of him bein’ there.”

Diavolo slid down in his seat slightly.

“Heard. We’ll be back soon, Mams.”

“How soon is soon?” The demon pressed.

“I don’t know, I’m twenty minutes out from the apartment. Like maybe an hour or two. Just chill.”

Mammon grumbled.

“Goodbye Mammon. We’ll see you soon.” You hung up. Diavolo was quiet the rest of the drive, appearing to be deep in thought. You turned the music back up a little bit until you turned in to the parking lot of the grocery store.

“I apologize once more.” Diavolo finally broke the silence. “It was not my intention to drag you into anything.”

“It’s alright. Neither of us knew a pair of witches would happen to be there.” You shrugged as you unbuckled and grabbed some reusable shopping bags from the backseat. “Besides, I’ve already been speculated about non-stop by the Devildom gossip socials, especially whenever I’m out with Asmo and Lucifer. It’s nothing new.”

Diavolo glanced at you with doubt in his eyes as you both got out of the car.

“I’m ok. I can take it.” You boldly reached your hand out to place on his arm reassuringly. “I’ve got nine of the most powerful demons, a sorcerer, and two angels looking after me for goodness sake.” You smiled.

“I suppose that is the case.” Diavolo conceded as you two locked the car. “Well, shall we?”

“Yes. Tonight’s meal is on Lucifer.” You held up a credit card with a glint in your eyes.

Diavolo threw his head back and laughed heartily.

Meandering around the aisles with Diavolo, explaining everything to him certainly made grocery shopping a far more interesting experience. You watched his eyes shine with delight as you slipped him a sample grape from the bag you were poking.

“Didn’t Lucifer string Mammon up for this recently?”

“As I told Lucifer, EVERYONE samples the grapes.” You laughed as you put the bag in the cart. “You gotta make sure they’re good. Well, I guess Beel is banned from doing that.”

You were so grateful Lucifer had given you the card with the sheer amount of food you had to buy to ensure there would be enough to go around with Beel’s appetite. You had decided to just go with a simple spaghetti dinner. Easy enough, far less ingredients.

“Are you and Barbatos joining us for dinner?” You asked as you threw 5 huge loafs of take and bake garlic bread from the bakery section into the cart.

“Oh.” Diavolo looked caught off guard. “I suppose we can. I would love to have more of your cooking.”

“Awesome! I sent a message to the Purgatory Hall crew earlier. It seems it is Solomon’s night to cook. I thought it might be polite to rescue them.”

“A kind choice. Please keep him far away from your kitchen.”

“Trust me, he has been banned from our kitchen.” You reassured him a you glanced over the list again. You had at least two or three quart jars of spaghetti sauce in the apartment from your father’s garden the previous summer, you thought. Other than that, you believed you were finished.

“I’m scared it’s going to take us multiple trips in the portal.” You muttered. Diavolo laughed once more.

“We will manage, no worries. I’ll message Barbatos.”

Finally, the pair of you hauled your loot and food up the steps to the apartment.

“Thank you so much for allowing me to do this, Diavolo.” You paused to say as you dug for the key. “And thank you for escorting me.”

“It was an honor. I certainly had a good time.” He smiled almost fondly as you turned the key and stumbled into the apartment. “If anything,” He placed the bags down next to the couch with your duffel. “It’s shown me I still have much to learn about you and the human world.”

“Oh?” You turned from the cabinet, jars of sauce in hand.

“Indeed.” He nodded. “It sounds silly, but with you today, I did not feel like Lord Diavolo, the Prince of the Devildom. Today, I felt like I was just being seen as Diavolo, and I have to say, I quite enjoyed that. Thank you for that experience.”

“I’m glad you had fun.” You smiled as you moved to place the jars in a grocery bag.

“That being said, it seems our human world date was a success.”

You nearly dropped the sauce jars. In a flash, Diavolo was next to you, catching one.

“Careful.” He was too close.

“Thanks.” You squeaked, moving back slightly.

“My apologies if I got that wrong.” Diavolo quickly spoke as he turned to tuck the jar into a bag, cheeks slowly glowing red as he ran his hand through his hair nervously. “I hope I didn’t over step bounds just now referring to today that way. It seemed like a date. Two people, going out, getting to know each other better. My apologies, I was being selfish thinking of it that way-” He started rambling. You also flushed red.

“No, Diavolo. You’re correct, that’s what generally happens on dates. So yes, I suppose this counted as a date if you want it to.” You finally managed. “Yes. I had fun on our date as well.” You spoke confidently, even though your stomach felt like it was doing backflips.

Diavolo completely flushed red. You had never seen him at a loss for words, but his brain was working, you could see it.

He stepped closer to you once more, face inches from your own, suddenly looking emboldened.

“If this is truly a date, then would you forgive me a bit more if I continued to be selfish and ask if I could end this date with a human world tradition? Although, it’s still the afternoon, I believe it’s traditional for your date to kiss you goodnight.”

Was this real life? The voice in your head that had been saying OFF LIMITS was suddenly screaming. In fact, everything in your brain was internally screaming.

“As long as you forgive my selfishness in saying yes.” You finally replied. Diavolo swiftly closed the distance between you, hand cupping your cheek as he gently kissed you. It took a millisecond to register; yes this was happening and kissed him back. The two of you lingered a moment before pulling away, Diavolo’s amber eyes boring intensely into yours, thumb gently stroking your cheek.

“Thank you.” He murmured.

A voice coughed behind you and you both jumped a foot apart and whipped around. Barbatos stood in the middle of your apartment. He merely smiled and bowed as both of you glowed redder than the tomato sauce, you practically clutching your chest as your heart pounded.

“Forgive my interruption. I thought you two may have needed assistance in carrying things back.”

“Yes. T-Thank you Barbatos.” Diavolo managed to clear his throat and get out the words out. Barbatos bowed once more and took a few bags with ease and disappeared into the portal. You swear you saw a smirk on his face.

“S-Shall we?” You finally managed to squeak as you and Diavolo grabbed the remaining two bags.

“I suppose it is time.” He sighed in response and held out his free hand.

You smiled as you took it and stepped into the portal. Maybe if the fates aligned, you wouldn’t mind a second date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your comments and love. Thank you for making it through this chapter. Next chapter will be up soon!


	5. I’ll be your knight! - Levi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi takes MC to an anime convention for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I JUST REALLY MISS CONS OK
> 
> Side note: COSPLAY IS NOT CONSENT. ALWAYS ASK AND RESPECT NO MEANS NO.

“What do you mean one day? We can’t possibly experience all that can possibly be experienced in ONE DAY! It will take one day alone to go through the vendor’s hall to scour for limited edition merch!” 

Levi was currently flipping out at Lucifer. 

“You have exams coming up plus you have to go inspect ships and do your duties as Grand Admiral of Hell’s Navy the coming week. Spending three days up in the human world at an anime convention is out of the question.” 

“Four.” Levi corrected. 

“Four what?” Lucifer narrowed his eyes. 

“Four days. You get there Thursday night for check in and get your badge, then the con is Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.” 

Lucifer rubbed his temples. 

“Pick one day and use it wisely.” 

“Lucifer, I can’t possibly showcase my cosplay line up in ONE DAY. Unless I change hourly. Then I’d have to plan around photoshoots and panels, and of course I can’t miss the gaming hall-”

”Levi, you already booked your one allotted four day convention in the Devildom for this year. This conversation is over. Pick one day or I’m going to say no to you using the portal and you’ll have to walk through the 8 layers to get there.” 

“No fair, Lucifer! Even the normies don’t go for one day!” 

“Hey! I do one day cons when I’m short on cash and it’s local!” You spoke up from the couch indignantly. “There’s nothing wrong with it! Keep complaining and I won’t go with you.” You threatened. 

“Just let him go, Lucifer. At least he’s gettin’ out of the house and socializing.” Mammon grunted from your lap as your fingers carded through his snowy locks, lightly scratching his scalp. “Let him go talk nerd with his nerd friends for a few days.” 

Asmo looked up from the complicated braid he was putting in your hair. “Eh, I think he just wants to spend a few nights in a hotel room with our cute human. Which I don’t blame him. Look at this face!” Asmo reached up and squished your cheeks while Mammon’s face contorted. Levi flushed red and began spluttering. 

“I changed my mind. Stick to your guns, Lucifer!” Mammon growled. 

“You are so transparent, it’s pathetic.” Asmo sighed and went back to braiding. 

“Enough!” Lucifer finally growled. “ONE DAY LEVIATHAN.”

_-4_ _am, the night before you leave-_

“Hey, time to get up.”

You felt yourself being shaken. What the hell? If felt like you just fell asleep after finishing the last touch on your secret cosplay. 

“Five more minutes, Levi.” You growled and rolled over. 

“If we don’t get there soon, we won’t be first in line for badges and we will waste precious time standing in line for ours. Get up and get dressed, normie.” 

“‘M not a normie.” You whined and snuggled deeper into bed. 

“Well you sure are acting like one.” He turned on the lights, earning a feral snarl from you as you yanked your comforter over your head. You finally cracked your eyes open and peeked out to see Levi standing over you, dressed in his Lord of Shadows costume. 

You narrowed your eyes. You were so tempted to tell him exactly where he could shove his sword at the moment. He may be the Grand Admiral of Hell’s Navy, but he was going to be feeling your wrath for this. 

“You can sleep when we get there to line up. Get up.” Levi yanked the covers back to reveal you sleeping in your underwear. You squealed and he yelled in surprise. “I’M SO SORRY!” His face was dark red as he stumbled back.   
  
“GET OUT!”   
  
  


_-45 minutes later-_

You sat next to the glass door of the convention center. You were freezing and Levi had draped his cloak around you. 

You certainly had shocked him with throwing on a Sailor Scout Henry cosplay. You had joked with Simeon about it for a while before finally getting the thumbs up from the author himself to actually do it. Considering Levi had yet to stop staring at you, you figured it was a success. 

You had managed to force him to let you get a cup of tea and a muffin to wake up before you left. You already had plenty of snacks crammed in your bag for later, but you just really wanted something in your stomach. 

You guess at some point you fell asleep on Levi’s shoulder, since you were awoken to a red faced Levi waking you up to say they were opening the door.   
  
Ten minutes later, you had your badges and were inside. 

“So my battle plan was going to this panel on TSL first, then hanging in the game room until the dealers hall opens. After searching and obtaining merch, we converge on the artist alley before these discussion panels. There’s a TSL shoot this afternoon we can hit as well.” 

“Levi, that sounds great, but I kinda wanted to go to this panel on the world of magical girls and how they would influence society right after the TSL panel. How about we split up after and I’ll meet you in the dealers hall?” 

Levi stiffened. 

“I-if that’s what you want. I don’t mind hearing that panel though if you want me to come but I understand if you don’t-”

“Levi you’re more than welcome to come with me. I just tend to float and be flexible at cons, that’s all.” 

“How do you manage without a schedule?” 

“I just go with the flow.” You shrug. “Come on we’ll be late.”   
  
The time almost seemed to fly by through the panels. Once you had made it down to the dealer’s hall, you found the two of you being stopped for photos every few booths or so. The con was large, and you were excited to see other TSL cosplayers roaming about.

Oh you’d have to send pictures from the shoot to Simeon! He would love it! You were lost in thought and nearly were taken out by a giant sword on someone’s back.

“Watch it!” Levi grabbed you hand and pulled you close. “Pay attention!”

“Sorry.” Levi’s face went red as he realized he was holding your hand still. 

“Do you want to keep holding hands so we don’t get separated in this mess?” You gave a reassuring smile. 

“I-I mean, I suppose I could.” 

“I need the Lord of Shadows to keep me safe even in the human world it seems.” You sighed. 

Levi was glowing red at this point. Your alarm on your phone buzzed. 

“Oh we have to go if we’re making the shoot!” You started pulling him towards the direction of the meet up.   
  
“But that figurine-” He protested. 

“It’ll still be there. Let’s go!”

The small drawstring backpack you had was packed with your loot as it smacked against your back as you quickly hustled through the crowd.

When you finally got to the spot, you found an impressive crowd of both spectators and cosplayers. 

“Woaaaaah!” Levi’s eyes widened. “I can’t believe it!”

”Simeon is going to be so excited to see pictures!” You squealed. Suddenly, someone with a bullhorn started up the shoot, separating spectators and cosplayers.   
  
Your eyes roamed over the assorted characters, smiling uncontrollably. All the hard work going into various costumes and the make up work on some of the characters!

”Here! Take pictures ok?” Levi handed you his phone, badge emblazoned “Leviachan”, and purchases as Lord of Shadows group was called. You took photos with both, making sure to send some to Simeon as you did. 

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1!” The crowd chanted. “Change pose!” The organizer instructed. 

You giggled as Levi stuck some ridiculous pose the cosplayer next to him.

”Next group! Lord of Masks!”

”Did you get any good ones?” Levi had to raise his voice to be heard. You handed him his phone back and he excited began flipping through them before raising it up once more to continue snapping pictures.

You soon heard Henry being called. You handed your load and phone to Levi to dash up. There were only a handful compared to the others. 

“So cool!” Levi grinned as you got back. 

“Lord of Shadows and Henry!” The organizer called. 

“Let’s go!” You two set your stuff down at the edge and hustled in. 

Levi took a few seconds longer and you felt a tap on your shoulder.

”Hey, pose with me!” Another lord of shadows cosplayer had grabbed your hand.

”No, thank you.” You snatched your hand back. You quickly moved next to Levi and posed with him before the countdown started. 

“Who was that?” Levi muttered to you out of the side of his mouth.   
  
“Some dude. I told him no.” You muttered back.

“Change pose! Ship style only if you are comfortable!”

You turned to lock eyes with Levi and smiled. You opened your mouth before you felt yourself being whirled around and dipped back deeply, someone grabbing you to keep from falling, and shrieks of delight from the crowd. You quickly saw it was the cosplayer from before as he put his face millimeters from yours. You tried to get away, pushing and falling on your butt before you saw a flash of fabric. 

“HEY! THEY SAID NO.” Levi fumed as he backed the guy up. You felt the rage and power roll off him and suddenly, this was not your shy Levi. The person in front of you was Leviathan, former leader of warriors of the Celestial Realm and current Grand Admiral of Hell’s Navy. 

Someone quickly helped you up as people rushed to get in between Levi and the other guy. Oh no, you had to get him out before he got angry enough to shift. 

“Levi, let’s go.” You put your hand on his arm. He glanced to you and his face softened. “He’s not worth it.” 

“Nah, that dude’s the one who needs to go!” Another Henry stated. 

“Yeah!” Another chimed in. You watched in wonder as people started chanting ‘Cosplay is not consent!’ And then erupt in cheers as he was escorted away by staffers.

”A-are you ok?” Your shy Levi was back. “Are you hurt?”

”I’m alright.” 

“Let’s try that shot again now the scum’s been taking care of!” The organizer announced. “RESET!”  
  
“Can we do a cute pose?” You shyly ask as the crowd whooped in response to the announcer.

”If you want.” Levi was pink and nodded.  
  
“Can I kiss your cheek?” You asked. Levi was fully red and furious nodded.   
  
“Ready!”

You stood on your tiptoes to lightly kiss his cheek as you held his hands. The heat from his face was almost blistering. The crowd cheered again. 

You two quickly gathered your things as they called for Lord of Fools and Geldie. 

“Let’s go back down to the dealers hall.” You mumbled, holding your bag to your chest.

“Hey, are you still ok?” Levi stopped. You nodded and your stomach grumbled. “Let’s get some in-game rations.” 

“But your figurine...” 

“It’ll still be there. I need to make sure my Henry is ok.” Levi gave a small smile. “Plus I saw they have some limited edition snacks in a booth near where the food vendors are!” 

“Thanks, Levi.” You held out your hand shyly. “And thanks for being my knight in shining armor back there.” 

“I-it was nothing! The Lord of Shadows would have never let someone hurt Henry! So why should I let someone do something to you? I mean, I’m a gross, useless otaku, but you’re my true friend!” Levi quickly declared. You smiled brightly at him and he went red once more. 

“Let’s go get some cheese fries, M’lord.” You bowed. He cleared his throat 

“Onwards then!”

As you munched on your food, you listened to Levi babble about the latest series he was bingeing with great gusto. You smiled to yourself and decided you would have to go to cons with Levi more often. 


	6. Puppy love - Lucifer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer enlists your help to groom Cerberus before his vet visit. Literal fluff ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer spoils that dog rotten when he can and you know it.

“I’m sorry, what? I think I misheard you. I thought you just asked me to help groom your beast of a dog.” You stared at Lucifer across the breakfast table. 

Lucifer looked unamused. 

“Is there something wrong with my dog? He’s very well behaved.” Lucifer took a bite of toast. “It’s a two person job. Besides, he probably still remembers you from when you and Luke dog-sat. Everything will be fine.”

“Then why did you have me do it alone?” Beel looked up from his fifth plate of eggs. 

“You have enough physical strength to do it alone. Plus, I think our human should get better acquainted with our guard dog.” Lucifer dismissed. 

“If they die, I’m telling Lord Diavolo it was your fault.” Satan glanced up from his newspaper. 

“That will not be necessary. Get dressed in something you don’t mind getting dirty and meet me by the front door in a half hour.” Lucifer stood and left the room. 

“Oi, I’ll make sure it’s closed casket if Cerberus mauls your face.” Mammon clapped you on the back. You glared at him as you stood and huffed. You turned on your heel and left. “I’m joking!” Mammon called after you.

A half hour later, you were walking towards Lucifer wearing an old T-shirt and shorts. The demon held a caddy full of grooming tools such as brushes, clippers, shampoo and such in one hand, and a bag full of what smelled like roasted roc in the other. You were shocked to see him dressed down for once. 

“There you are. Right on time. Let’s proceed out back.” You shuffled behind him, following him to the back patio. You rarely came back here. The guys wouldn’t normally allow you to wander around outside unattended, in fear a lesser demon would be hanging around. There your eyes beheld a hose near the drainage grate. 

“So bath first, then clip?” You ventured.

”Correct. But we have to blow out his winter coat first.” Lucifer grimaced as he went around to a shed. He returned with what appeared to be a leaf blower. 

“What exactly are we doing with that?” You eyed it suspiciously. “You cannot be serious about using that on your dog.”

”It’s the only way to get the loose fur out. It’s either that or spend three hours trying to brush it out.” Lucifer grunted. He set the blower down before letting loose a loud and piercing whistle. “CERBERUS, COME!”

You felt the ground shake slightly. You could hear and smell the hell hound before you saw him. You instinctively clung to Lucifer’s arm and gulped. Lucifer smirked at you. The massive canine bounded up to the pair of you and skidded to a halt. You could easily see the shaggy dog was in dire need of a grooming session. Fur seemed to float like snow through the air. 

Cerberus’s massive heads were at eye level with you as they started to sniff the air around you. You shut your eyes as one head snuffled around your face and chin. You were used to big dogs, but not horse sized ones! 

“Stop being over dramatic. I’m here and you’re fine. Here.” Lucifer reached beside him and pulled out the chunks of roasted roc, catching Cerberus’s attention. His three heads started drooling. He passed you a handful. “Make friends again. Tell him to sit.” 

“Um...Sit?” Cerberus grunted and three heads tilted the same way, it was adorable and you felt your heart melt and you become less fearful. The dog still stood. 

”That won’t do. More confidence. You have the meat in your hands, command him. He respects authority.” Lucifer instructed. 

“Cerberus, you want it? Sit.” You tried a bit more assertively. To your shock, he listened, tail wagging, sending bits of fur into the air. “Good boy!” You squealed. You tossed bits of the meat to the dog and each head caught some, tail thumping against the stone floor. 

Lucifer handed you some more. 

“Tell him ‘Paw.’” 

You slowly approached Cerberus. 

“Cerberus, paw!” You held out your empty hand. Cerberus eyed the roc and snuffled towards it. “No. Paw first, then treat.” 

Cerberus huffed and placed his large paw in your hand. 

“Good boy!” Your voice went high pitched, as if you were talking to your own goofball family dogs. You distributed the roc once more as his tail wagged violently, more fur flying out. “You remember me, don’t ya?” 

Cerberus gave a small woofing noise as his heads all attempted to nuzzle and lick your face at once. 

“I told you.” Lucifer smirked. 

“Yeah you did.” You admitted. 

“Here, hook that on his collar.” Lucifer held a leash out that was attached to a rod in the ground. “He likes getting blown out, but he tends to run and play in it if he isn’t hooked up.” 

You scratched under one of Cerberus’s massive chins and clipped him. 

“Good. Now stand by with the brush. When I’m done a section, brush that section out. Oh and here.” He held out a pair of headphones, a face mask and some safety goggles to you. “To protect your fragile human ears and to keep fur and dander out of your eyes and mouth.” 

You accepted as he put on his own mask and goggles and started the blower up. 

Within seconds, it was like a blizzard of grey and black fur raining from the sky. You were immediately grateful for the protection. Cerberus’s wiggling butt, jumps for joy, and wagging tail made the job a bit more perilous than a normal dog. He soon flopped over for Lucifer to get his belly. You scratched his belly in a place Lucifer had yet to get to and pulled out a massive fistful of shed fur. You made a note that you would never complain about your mom’s dog shedding ever again.

Finally, after covering the entire back patio in at least an inch of fur in some spots, Lucifer shut the blower off. You took off the headphones and mask. 

“Now the fun part. Bath time.”

Cerberus’s ears went back and he whined. 

“Stop being a baby.” He scolded. “Don’t let him fool you. He adores water and getting wet, but it takes some convincing. Be good and you’ll get more roc.” 

Cerberus began vocalizing, sounding what you could only describe like a giant husky with three heads arguing. 

“Cerberus.” Lucifer’s voice was stern. Cerberus continued to argue. “No, you’re getting a bath because you smell horrendous. Stop arguing. No, you’re not getting out of this.” 

You couldn’t help it anymore. You let a snort slip out at the sight of Lucifer having an argument with his dog over a bath. You were fortunate enough to not be heard over Cerberus’s temper tantrum. 

“Lucifer, do you mind? I’m trying to sleep!” Belphie stuck his head out one of the windows and yelled. 

“Belphie, come down! The fur piles are really soft!” You called up to him.

Belphegor wrinkled his nose. 

“I’d rather not smell like dirty dog.” 

Cerberus growled as Belphie quickly backed up and slammed the window shut. 

“Enough. You’re getting a bath and that’s final.” Lucifer turned on the hose and fiddled with the attachment. Cerberus whined. “Yes, it’s warm. Who spoiled you this much?” 

“Probably you.” You commented. Lucifer glared at you before aiming the hose at your legs. You yipped and dodged the water stream.

“Well then, I was going to let you spray, but now you get to shampoo him.” He smiled sadistically. Oh bother. 

Ten minutes later and you were sopping wet along with Cerberus. Your clothes clung to you as you tried to squeeze some excess from your shirt. Cerberus shook off once again, soaking you for a second time. You looked up at Lucifer who smirked. You walked towards him. 

“Having fun?” You snapped, looking up at him and poking his chest, noting he was bone dry. 

“I suppose so.” He chuckled. “You look like a drowned rat.”

Without thinking, you quickly threw your arms around him. Lucifer yelped and started to pry you off. 

“You’ll pay for that.” He growled, looking down at the giant wet spot on the front of his shirt. 

“Sharing is caring, Lucifer.” You felt like pushing your luck and stuck your tongue out at him before quickly backing up towards Cerberus. 

You didn’t get two feet before Lucifer turned the hose back on you. Cerberus yipped in excitement, ready to play. You spluttered and tripped on the caddy. Almost immediately, you felt Lucifer grab you before you hit the pavement. 

“Are all humans as clumsy as you?” Lucifer sighed as he lifted you up to steady you. You scowled. “Such a flattering face as well. Keep making that expression and your face will stay that way because I’ll hex it to do exactly that.” 

“What a wonderful motivation.” You replied sarcastically. 

“Oh, you require motivation?” Lucifer started stalking towards you and you felt yourself being backed up against the wall of the house. Lucifer planted one hand next to your head while he other hand squished your cheeks together. You felt your face glow red as he leaned in. “Perhaps this will wipe that scowl off your face.” He smirked before closing the space between you mouths.

Your first reaction was shock, your second reaction was to kiss him back, the kiss deepening and becoming increasingly desperate. You two resurfaced for air as Cerberus began barking. 

“We should finish with the dog.” You murmured as you made to move past him. 

“If you insist.” Lucifer breathed as he backed up. He smirked as he went to pick up the blower and a brush. 

Maybe next time you’d volunteer to groom Cerberus. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading once again! Next chapter coming soon!


	7. Space Heater - Mammon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mammon can’t fall asleep. So obviously your room is where he decides to head off to.

“Nrgh.” You grunted as your D.D.D pinged. Your hand shot out from under the blankets to quickly retract. Shit, it was cold. Did the stove in your room go out? You shivered.

Your eyes peeked out to try and see the faint orange glow of embers through one of the small holes in the wood burning stove. Nothing. You found your phone, delaying the inevitable. You saw the message was from Mammon. 

_”You up? I can’t sleep.”  
_

You were halfway through typing a response after sending an annoyed sticker when you heard the soft knock. 

“Get in here, Mammon. It’s open.” You sighed. The door clicked open. 

“Shit, it’s cold in here. You’re gonna catch a cold, human.” Mammon scolded. “If I knew it was this cold in here, I would have put sweatpants on instead of shorts.”

“Stove went out.” You grunted. 

“Then ya gotta throw some more wood in it!” 

“But you’re closer and your night vision is superior.” You whined. “I’m too sleepy.” 

“Tch. I’m only doing this so you don’t burn yourself by accident. Next time, you’re on your own.” Mammon scoffed as he grabbed a few logs off the wood stack and fed the stove. Soon, the silhouette of the demon was softly illuminated by flames from the open stove door. You could soon feel heat starting to radiate through the room. 

“Thanks Mams.” You yawned. You lifted up the blankets. “You want in?” 

“The Great Mamm-”

”Mammon shut up and get over here. It’s too late and cold to hear you bullshit like you didn’t come in here to snuggle.” You interrupted him, grumbling.

“Fine!” Mammon huffed as he shucked off his hoodie to reveal his white sleep tank. He quickly slid under the covers, letting the cold air in with him. “You’re fucking freezing.” He grunted as he touched your arm. 

“Then warm me up.” You yawned. 

“Oi! Y-ya really need to watch what you say.” He stuttered as he snuggled up to you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “If it were Asmo or Lucifer, they would take that the wrong way!”

”So warm...” You mumbled as you buried your face into his chest. “Like a furnace.” Mammon was grateful you couldn’t see how his face blazed. 

“What are ya, a lizard? Sapping my body heat, are ya?” 

“Yes.” 

Mammon snorted. 

“I didn’t know it was supposed to be this cold tonight.” You murmured.

”Yeah. I saw it was snowing pretty hard from the hall window when I came over here. GAH! YOUR FEET ARE LIKE ICE CUBES! QUIT THAT!” 

You couldn’t help but smirk as you kept your feet on his legs. 

“Warm ‘em up then.” 

“Haven’t you heard of socks?” Mammon grunted.

”I can’t sleep with them on. My feet get sweaty.” 

“Humans are gross.” 

“Shut up, I’ve seen your room before trash day.” 

Mammon pinched you, causing you to squeal.

You huffed and flipped over, pressing your back into Mammon’s chest. 

“Pfff. Your hair is in my face.” Mammon complained as he took his hand and moved it out of the way.

He rested his forehead against the back of your shoulder, arm entwining your waist once more as he sighed. Your skin prickled slightly at the warm air. You wrapped you own arms around his and laced your fingers together before pressing his knuckles to your lips.

“So what’s on your mind since you can’t sleep, Mams?” 

He made a grunting noise and buried his face in your neck. 

“That’s not an answer, Mammon.” You sighed and reached up to ruffle his white hair. 

“I went to buy Levi a tabletop game he mentioned earlier, and Mephistopheles caught me in the shop right as I went to grab the last one, and wouldn’t shut up. Then the witches called me up, and I got distracted and that little slimeball snatched the last box! So I’ve been calling and messaging stores around town half the night tryin’ to track down a copy.” He grunted into your skin. 

“Mammon, that’s so sweet of you.”

”Figured it was what I could do since I accidentally busted his controller the other day.”

“Mammon!” You scolded.

”The joystick broke and I tried to fix it and ended up making it worse. I would just get him a new one, but ya know how picky he is over his gaming stuff.” 

“Yeah...” 

Both your bodies tensed as you heard the door open.

”Hey, you awake? It’s too cold to sleep.” You heard Asmo coo from the doorway. 

“Occupied.” Mammon snapped and sat up. 

“UGH!” Asmo scowled as he approached the bed. “No fair! I wanted to snuggle tonight! Scoot over!”

”Then you should have got here earlier!” Mammon growled possessively. “Go cuddle with the twins. Belphie won’t care as long as you shut up and sleep.” 

“You are the worst!” Asmo turned his attention to you. “He’s being mean! Why do you want a rude person in your bed when you can have me snuggled up with you?” He whined. 

“Because I’m their first demon!”

“Next time, Asmo. You gotta get here early if you want to beat Mammon or Belphie. Now go see if Belphie will let you cuddle.” 

“Oh. Looks like we’re late to the party, Beel.”

The three of you looked to see Beel and Belphie in the doorway, each holding pillows.

”Really, both of you?” Mammon snapped. “Get out and take Asmo with you. He’s cold and wants to cuddle.”

”No thanks. He gets too handsy.” Belphie wrinkled his nose.

”Belphie, you’re so cruel!”

“Sorry Asmo, but Belphie’s got a point.” Beel nodded. 

“Call Solomon and see if he’ll summon you. Mammon get out, it’s our turn. You’ve been in here two nights this week.” Belphie crossed his arms. 

“Who the F-”

“Ok, ENOUGH! Everyone who is not Mammon, OUT! Or else none of you are sleeping in here anymore! I’m not a body pillow!” You snapped. You were tired and four demons bickering at this hour was not helping.

”Fine...”

The door shut as everyone cleared out. Mammon got up to lock the door. You whined at the sudden lack of body heat, but Mammon quickly dove back under the covers and resumed his position. You could hear him grumbling obscenities as he nuzzled his face into the nape of your neck.

”I don’t like the idea of them sleeping with you.”

”They don’t particularly like the idea of you sleeping in here either.” You reminded him. 

“Yeah, but you’re my human! I’m the one who’s supposed to be looking after ya. I shouldn’t even let Belphie near you.” 

“Mammon.” 

“I have nightmares about it ya know.” He mumbled as he squeezed you tight. 

“I do too, but sweetie, we’re in a pact now. He’s not going to do anything.” You reached back to pet his head 

“I don’t want to go through that again.”

“I know, Mams. I know.” 

“Why do humans have to be so fragile, huh?” 

“That isn’t really something I can answer, hon.” 

“Yeah, I know.” Mammon sounded defeated.

Finally Mammon yawned. You could feel him nodding off.

“Mams, it’s time for bed.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He breathed. 

“Going back to Levi’s tabletop game, I’ll help you look in the morning, if we aren’t snowed in that is.” 

“Thanks.” He mumbled. You felt his eyes close before he pressed a soft kiss on the curve of your neck. 

You sighed as you heard one of the logs crackle. You shut your eyes and drifted off to the sensation of Mammon’s slowed breathing, grateful for the demon agreeing to being your space heater for the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I know I haven’t responded to comments, but thank you so much for leaving them! It makes me happy to know you guys are enjoying it! 
> 
> Next chapter is a Diavolo follow up/mayyyybe second date? That is, if we survive a group dinner.


	8. Let's Go Crazy - Diavolo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diavolo's been finding excuses to hang around the House of Lamentation since your date, but will you two ever get alone time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to part three of my Diavolo Deserves Fluffy Love crusade. Part two is Chapter 4.

You hummed quietly as you dug for a clean spoon. Beel was at fangol practice, so you took the opportunity to make a human favorite from your newly replenished stash. 

It had been three weeks since Beel and Levi had gotten you the mini fridge. Ok, it wasn’t a mini fridge. There was nothing miniature about it. Beel and Levi had splurged and gotten you an actual fridge that was on the smaller side. Currently it was shoved in between the bookcases next to the giant table in your room. 

You were gleeful to shove your human world groceries inside. In addition to the group dinner ingredients, you had bought a bunch of canned foods, veggies, several jars of peanut butter, fruits, eggs, milk (which was long gone at this point), butter, and a few other staples and a variety of snacks. But most importantly, you bought a few indulgences; a giant tub of cookie dough, multiple boxes of brownie mix, and alcohol you could get drunk off of. 

You quickly dumped the brownie mix in the pan and slid it into the oven. You were going to have to keep an eye on it. Barbatos had graciously given you tips on how to properly bake with the fire ovens.

You set a timer before you cracked open a bottle of hard cider and took a swig. You hopped back to sit on the counter. You turned on your noise cancelling headphones, opting to leave them around your neck (in order to be able to detect any nosy demons who smelled the chocolate and came to investigate), and hit random on your playlist. Levi and Belphie had successfully transferred music from your human phone over to your D.D.D and vice versa. 

It felt a bit cathartic, sitting on a kitchen counter in a beater and your favorite shorts, drinking, baking and listening to music. It reminded you of you and your college roommates. You should call them.

Alone time was rare. Lucifer and Asmo had meetings, Levi was gaming, Belphie was sleeping on the bleachers at Beel’s practice, Mammon was doing a shoot, and Satan was at the Royal Library.

You leaned back on your hands and closed your eyes, losing yourself in the music and thought. 

Diavolo had stuck around the kitchen after your deemed date in the human world to “help”, much to Barbatos’s dismay. Together, the two of you managed to find some smaller tasks for him to do. You had watched him like a hawk when you showed him how to properly use a kitchen knife. After kissing you, it seemed the demon had become a little more bold that night, lightly flirting in the kitchen, “accidentally” brushing his hands against yours reaching for basil, laughing and joking in a way that almost made you forget Barbatos was breathing down both your necks. The two of you managed to reel it in as soon as dinner was served, sitting at opposite ends of the table, and engaging in separate conversations with the others. 

The next day, it seemed like everything had gone back to normal. You were getting more texts than you normally would from the Prince though. He was extremely delighted with the records the two of you had purchased. He mentioned Barbatos wasn’t particularly fond of the Beastie Boys album you had snuck in. You had snorted at that. He had asked if you wanted to listen to one or two of them together. You had agreed, but so far he had been mostly too swamped with work to be able to have a decent chunk of time to set aside to veg out and listen to music. 

That hadn’t appeared to stop him from making frequent visits to the house. Lucifer was getting irritated. You had overheard Diavolo telling him that since people weren’t coming to the castle, maybe he should come to them. Satan speculated he was avoiding work. Mammon was on edge and sneaking around. Belphie was hiding out more in the attic, Beel and Levi just didn’t care. Asmo in the other hand was delighted and had been hounding Barbatos endlessly, much to Barbatos’s dismay. 

Yet in all that, you had yet to be alone in a room with him. He had dropped by your room once, but Mammon, Levi, and Belphie had been situated gaming and sleeping in your lap. He had joined the guys in gaming for a bit, losing miserably before Barbatos finally tracked him down. 

Asmo had been present several times when you ran into each other at RAD. The third time, he had dragged you out to the courtyard and interrogated you. 

_“I’m not stupid, you know.” Asmo huffed. “Everything may look normal to everyone else, but kitten, I’m the Avatar of Lust and I can smell the spark between you two.”_

_“Asmo.” You started quietly and sternly, glancing around to make sure no one was around. “There is nothing going on. We spent the day together and got to know each other a bit better.”_

_“Is that all?” Asmo smirked. “I could smell his scent on you, you know.”_

_“I held on to him in the portal, we were in the car together, cooked together, and spent the day together so yes, some of his scent probably rubbed off on me.” You were not going to tell Asmo the two of_ _you kissed. Neither of you or Barbatos had let that slip to Lucifer to your knowledge._

_“You don’t have to tell me. The way he looked at you during dinner when he thought no one was looking told me everything.”_

_“Asmo!” You hissed as you spotted Mephistopheles across the way. “Whatever you thought you saw, we_ c _annot discuss here or in public and you need to keep it to yourself.”_

_The conversation ended abruptly as Mephistopheles noticed the two of you and called out._

You chose to stop thinking about it. Nothing was going to happen on that front. He was a demon prince, you were a human and he was Off Limits. You had to remind yourself of that again, no matter how much you liked him, no matter how gentle and enjoyable that kiss had been. You were likely a novelty, a passing fancy and the sooner you accepted that, the less miserable you would be in the future when things didn’t work out. 

You took a long swig of cider, jumped off the counter, took off the headphones, turned up the volume and started dancing by yourself as you pulled the cord out, and Prince blared through the phone speakers, echoing in the kitchen. How ironic you snorted to yourself. You smiled to yourself, you couldn’t help it. You could never sit or stand still when Prince was on. The timer dinged and you pulled out the brownies quickly. You kept rocking out in the kitchen, dancing in place and singing along, quickly doing dishes. 

“OH NO, LET’S GO!” You yelled along as you chucked the rag into the dirty rag bin. You spun around to come face to face with a grinning Diavolo. You stumbled back and yelped.

”HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN STANDING THERE?” 

“Please, don’t stop on my account.” He had a shit eating grin on his face. You noticed he was somewhat dressed down, opting for a slightly more casual suit than his normal red RAD coat.

“That doesn’t answer my question, Diavolo!” He laughed and took your hand, giving you spin before seizing you once more and swaying in time with the song.

“Long enough.” He tapped your nose and winked. Damn him and his charm! “What are you listening to? It sounds delightful.” 

“Prince.” You sighed, giving in to his insistence on joining your impromptu kitchen dance party.

“Prince what?” He spun you once more as you giggled.

“That’s his name. Prince.” 

“Ah.” 

“I put one of his albums in the pile we got. I have one of his greatest hits records in my room next door.” 

“Excellent. I just finished my meeting with Lucifer and now I have free time. I was hoping we could listen to one of those albums, if you have time that is?” His cheeks were tinged pink. How adorable.

“I would love to!” You smiled. “Oh, I made some human world dessert! Let me grab the record and we can go down to the music room. Unless, you want to go back to the castle?”

“Here is fine.” Diavolo pressed your hand to his lips before releasing you and walked over to investigate the brownie pan. You screamed internally as you mentally attempted to remind yourself of your mantra of OFF LIMITS once more. “Now tell me, what did you make? It smells absolutely divine.”

“Do you remember those boxes of brownie mix I got the other day? I decided to make one of them.” 

“Wise of you to do so while Beelzebub is out. It might not have even made it to the oven. What are you drinking? I saw you grab that at the store as well.” He picked up your nearly empty bottle of cider and took a sniff.

“You certainly are curious today.” You giggled. “Alcoholic apple cider. You can have some of mine if you’d like.”

“You don’t mind if I drink from your bottle?” Diavolo questioned.

“Diavolo, if I minded, I would have gotten you your own. Although if you do like it, I can gladly give you your own bottle. It’s not very strong.”

Diavolo raised an eyebrow as he hesitantly took a sip.

“So?”

“Not bad. It’s very sweet.” Diavolo nodded.

You smiled as you took the bottle from him and finished the rest of the bottle in one go, staring him straight in the eye and chucking it in the recycle.

“Would you like a bottle?”

“I suppose so.” He smiled as you reached for a second bottle you had stashed in the fridge a half hour earlier.

“Look at you, being all rebellious.” You teased and lightly touched his arm as you handed him the bottle. “First, human world alcohol, and now we’re going to go listen to some explicit human world music that would make Barbatos clutch his pearls.” Diavolo turned pink once more.

“Explicit?”

“Prince mostly sang about three things, Diavolo; Sex, love, and social revolution. He was an ICON. The man turned his named into a symbol. Literally.” You grabbed a knife out of the drawer. “Wait here, let me grab the record and we’ll go downstairs. You gon’ learn about Prince tonight.” You handed him the brownies and the knife with a grin. You seldom got to lecture about music and artists, but tonight, you had a feeling Diavolo would let you ramble.

“What are you two doing?” You jumped slightly and turned to see Lucifer standing in the doorway, eyeing the bottle and brownies in Diavolo’s hands.

“Oh, Lucifer. We were about to go listen to one of my records down in the music room.”

“How delightful. I’ll join you two. Why don’t we use my room?” Lucifer offered a small smile. Oh bother. “That way, you won’t catch a cold in those clothes.” His eyes flitted up and down your figure. The nerve! He hadn’t complained when you brought him tea earlier! You crossed your arms over your chest.

“Sure…Maybe I’ll just grab my sweatshirt as well.” You managed a smile back. Damn. Lucifer preferred silence when listening to music. You glanced at Diavolo who looked less than ecstatic as well. He quickly put a smile on.

“That sounds lovely, Lucifer.”

“Excellent. Diavolo, why don’t we head there now?” You shot Diavolo an apologetic look as soon as Lucifer turned his back.

Lucifer allowed Diavolo to pass before turning back to you.

“Put some clothes on before you come, please. It may be an acceptable outfit for when it’s just us in the house, but you need to look presentable in front of Lord Diavolo and not like some bum.” Lucifer scolded quietly. 

“First off, how dare you try and dictate my clothing. Second, I didn’t know he was even here!” You hissed. “It’s not like I invited him over and you didn’t tell anyone he was coming here. If I had known, then yes I would have put on pants at least.”

Lucifer scowled, realizing you had a point.

“Just put some pants on. Please.”

_-25 minutes later-_

“Alright, turn it off.” Lucifer scowled. “How can you listen to such vulgar lyrics? I’m disappointed in you. I would expect this music from Asmo. Not only that, you would have Lord Diavolo listen to such filth? You should know by now he doesn’t take kindly to unsavory discussions and I’m sure his tastes are much more refined. We may be demons, but we also have class and standards to which we hold ourselves to.”

You slid down in your seat slightly. God, this was embarrassing. It was bad enough sitting through Alphabet Street, Cream, Little Red Corvette, and finally, Gett Off with Lucifer. The demon had decided to charm the record to somehow to shuffle and of course it decided to play the most sexual songs first. It was like sitting through a sex scene with your parents. You knew Lucifer was mostly into classical, but you had hoped he would be more into some mainstream pop or rock. Why didn’t you just suggest listening to Queen instead?

“I actually enjoyed it, Lucifer.” Diavolo stated plainly as he reached for another brownie.

“Diavolo…” Lucifer looked absolutely floored. “You…enjoyed it?”

“Very much so. Prince’s vocal range and also his guitar talents are extraordinary as showcased in the selection we listened to here and in the kitchen.”

“You really think so?” You moved to sit cross legged, facing Diavolo on the couch. “I mean, he was widely regarded as a guitar virtuoso!”

Lucifer sat in stunned silence as the two of you excitedly began breaking down the composition of the music.

“Oh, sorry Lucifer. We didn’t mean to exclude you from the conversation. Since the music offends you, how about we get out of your hair?” You gave an apologetic smile.

“That sounds ideal.” Diavolo agreed. “Come, let’s head out and discuss this further.” Diavolo stood and offered his hand. You had to keep your face straight as you took his hand in yours and allowed yourself to be led out.

“Enjoy the brownies!” You called over your shoulder as the door shut behind you, leaving a stunned Lucifer in your wake.

“I thought we’d never get away. How about we head over to the castle?” Diavolo murmured in your ear, causing you to flush crimson. “Or perhaps a café? Maybe a walk in the park?”

“Diavolo, are you trying to ask me for another date?” You decided to be bold.

He turned red before he chuckled.

“You caught me. I hope your answer is yes, but I completely understand-”

“I would love to, let me grab shoes and socks and let’s go.” You interrupted him, still red. Diavolo’s face lit up with one of the biggest smiles you had seen yet.

“Thank you. Now let’s hurry before we get caught again by someone.”

You turned and quickly opened your door, pulling him inside.

“You can wait in here before Lucifer decides to leave his room.”

The voices in your head started screeching again. You just dragged the Prince of the Devildom into your bedroom. Oops.

You did your best to ignore them as you dug for a pair of socks in the clean laundry basket you had yet to put away from the morning on the table. You noticed Diavolo was looking around at your stuff again, like he had at your apartment.

“Your room is rather lovely. Is it to your liking?”

“Of course! I love it.” You sat on your bed to lace your boots up. “I love plants and nature.”

“I’ll have to take you to the Devildom Botanical Gardens some time then.” Diavolo examined the tree branches growing as your bed frame. “It’s splendid year round.”

“Are you asking me for a third date before we’ve even gone on our second? Jumping the gun, aren’t you?” You teased as you switched feet.

“Is it presumptuous of me to do so? Forgive me.” Diavolo’s eyes widened, suddenly looking slightly panicked.

“I’m teasing you. I’d love to go, date or not.” You watched him relax, looking relieved. “Let’s go find ourselves a nice cozy café.”

“I heard you were a fan of a certain milk tea. How about there?”

“Isn’t that a bit of a public place for you to be seen with someone?” You were concerned.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret.” Diavolo smirked as he helped you into your leather jacket. “I’m rather talented at charms that make one inconspicuous. I’ve been plenty of places in public and not been bothered, merely because the spell doesn’t quite let others fully recognize me. They’ll think I look familiar, but not think anything of it. It’s quite useful. I appreciate your concern though. Shall we?”

_-Some Time Later In Town-_

“Really now?” You took a sip of your milk tea as the two of you strolled through the park.

“It’s all true. I have photos to prove it. Lucifer would be furious if he discovered I had them, though.”

“Would you send them to me? I would love nothing more than to see Lucifer attempting to look dignified on a pony.” You laughed as Diavolo recounted a time they had to ride horses at a dignitary from another part of the Devildom’s manor. 

“I shall. It reminds me of that chat sticker so much. Minus the unicorn horn, and him smiling that is. To be honest, the horse wasn’t too thrilled either, but it was either that or ride on the back of another horse.”

You started laughing once more at the mental picture of Lucifer holding on to someone on the back of a horse.

You glanced at Diavolo to be taken aback. He was looking at you with such fondness, your heart skipped a beat. You quickly looked away, panicking slightly. Were you two being too familiar? Moving too fast? Maybe a little in human standards, but what were demon standards? Well, at least he treated you more than just a mere human.

It was odd. With the brothers, you sometimes felt like an object or a pet, rather than a person. Especially when Belphie and Mammon fought over your lap or wanting to spend the night in your room, or Lucifer talked around you, when Satan grabbed you and ran when Lucifer was trying to scold either of you, or even when Asmo was acting as if he was showcasing you whenever he took you out. Levi and Beel didn’t seem to do it nearly as much. You know they didn’t mean to. So far, Diavolo and Barbatos had yet to treat you as such.

“Grimm for your thoughts?” Diavolo motioned with his head to a bench.

“It’s nothing.” You shook your head as you sat next to him. Diavolo rested his head on his hand as he faced you.

“You are quite aware of the fact I can determine if you are lying.” He spoke softly. “So, please tell me what is on your mind. Although, I won’t push you if you aren’t comfortable telling me.” You looked up at him.

“I’m just…” You tried to find the words. You didn’t want to unload on him. “Do you ever get the feeling you aren’t being seen as you?”

“Of course. Daily.” Diavolo responded without hesitation. Of course. You almost forgot. “You’re one of the few who have treated me as simply Diavolo, not just Future King, or headmaster, or my father’s son. I appreciate that. I feel like you see me as me.”

“It must feel lonely.” You leaned into him and you felt his arm wrap around your shoulders.

“It does. But I remind myself I have Barbatos and Lucifer. They may act formal in front of others and in public, but I assure you, behind closed doors, they are not afraid to tell me how it is. I just wish others would do the same instead of walking on eggshells around me.” He sighed and his eyes settled on you once more.

You were quiet and looked back at your milk tea cup.

“It’s why I like you so much.” He continued. “You don’t act like you’re afraid to tell me no, or go with whatever I say. You treat me as an equal, even if I’m thousands of years older than you. As I told you before, you make me feel seen and heard as myself. Not just as Lord Diavolo, future King.” He leaned his head closer to you. “Honestly, you intrigue me. You’ve handled everything here remarkably well. You made pacts with the seven lords of hell while keeping your soul intact, made friends, befriended angels, and somehow managed to captivate me. I feel truly honored that you invited me into your world. Both in the human world on our date and in your daily life.”

Your face flushed as you turned to face him. You knew one thing that Lucifer had drilled into you. Lord Diavolo does not lie.

“The entirely selfish part of me wants to keep you here forever. Not just for my own happiness, but for Lucifer and his brother’s happiness as well. But you’re a human with a remarkably short life span. You need your freedom in the sunlight, not to be cooped up here in eternal night.” His eyes were suddenly filled with sadness.

“I still have time.” You leaned over and your lips brushed his cheek. His eyes widened. “Let’s make the most of it, ok?” You put a smile on, hoping to reassure him. Diavolo appeared to be processing again, his face matching his dark crimson coat. Good to know you broke the demon lord’s brain twice in a month. You stood and readjusted yourself before holding your hand out to him. He took it and stood.

“Shall we continue our date, Dia-” You were caught off guard as he pulled you towards him, his mouth pressing against yours. You quickly responded and he deepened the kiss, tongue invading your mouth. You eventually resurfaced for air, both faces red. You were beyond grateful for that spell he cast. That certainly would have been headlining news. You could see it now: ‘Lord Diavolo caught making out with a human in the middle of a park like a pair of horny teenagers.’

“Call me that again.” He breathed.

“Pardon?” You were slightly confused.

“Call me Dia again. I like the sound of it.” He stroked your cheek.

“Ok then, Dia.” You giggled. “Shall we continue our date?”

“Of course.” He smiled that heart melting smile again. “As you said, let’s make the most of it.”

This demon was going to be the end of you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for dealing with my blatant favoritism. 
> 
> Coming soon: Our favorite Hungry Hungry Himbo, an Angry Cat Boy, and One (1) Shady Ass Sorcerer. Not necessarily in that order. Maybe. We shall see.


	9. Human interaction - Solomon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SEASON THREE SPOILERS. Solomon feels awkward about meeting your human world friends. F!reader  
> CW Alcohol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Solomon yo. Who knew the shady sorcerer would be the hardest to write for? By the way, MIGHT be pushing the rating a little with this one. Oops.

Huh that was weird.

Solomon wasn't answering your texts. You were supposed to be hanging out today until meeting people for a night out drinking. Maybe he got caught up in something. 

'Or maybe one of his experiments went wrong and he turned himself into a bunny.' The voice in the back of your head suggested snidely. 

You got up from your couch and paced slightly. You had been looking forward to introducing Solomon to your human world friends. Ever since you got back from your second stint in the Devildom, you had noticed the sorcerer acting shady. Well, shadier than usual. He had decided to teach you magic, but would do a lesson at the apartment and then bounce immediately afterwards. Something was up. 

So naturally you invited him to a dinner at the group’s favorite restaurant in the city before a night of drinking. You had told him to dress pretty casually. You weren’t going anywhere too terribly fancy. 

You had talked about your friends before and he seemed distant and sulky. Honestly, you just wanted him to have some normal human interaction this century. He might be a thousand years old, but he was still relatively young and needed to hang out with some younger folks to remind him he wasn't a stuffy geezer. Plus you were sure if anyone relatively normal people would accept him and his quirks, it was your motley crew of friends. But first, he actually had to get his magical ass to your apartment. 

You picked up your D.D.D. Maybe Asmo would know what Solomon was up to. You quickly shot him a text and returned to your seat on the rattan loveseat on your balcony to browse through social media on your human phone. The warm early summer breeze blew across your bare legs and the sun warmed your skin as you sighed. It wasn't like Solomon to be this late. You dug into the bag of grapes you had brought out and considered calling him. You didn’t want to nag him though.

Your D.D.D. dinged and you quickly picked it up to see Asmo replied. 

_"Yeah, I know where he is."_

_"Ok, Where?"_

_"Send me a pic and I'll tell you ;) xxxx"_

_"Or I can text Lucifer and tell him the reason the foyer mirror shattered last month is because you accidentally dropped a champagne bottle while sneaking a succubus home and the cork hit it."_

_"Eek! He's trying to pick out modern clothes at a store called Target that make him look more normal so he doesn't look weird in front of your human friends. He keeps sending me pics and they’re all so BORING."_

_"Does he not have regular non-sorcerer clothes? Also Thank you xxx"_

_"You're devious. I can't wait for you to summon me so you can truly show me exactly how devious you can be, darling."_

_"Don't be lewd Asmo. Just tell him a casual black button down and nice jeans are fine. We’re getting sushi and drinks. It’s not like we’re going to The Fall.”  
_

_”I need to see your outfit to give it the Asmo-Chan seal of approval missy!”  
_

_“I will later.”_

_“But I wanna see nowwwww!! :( :( “_

_”So he’s nervous? He shouldn’t be, everyone is really nice.”  
_

_“I think he’s gotten used to you being the only other normal human around. He’s probably jealous you’re sociable and he’s not.”  
_

_“That’s more Levi’s wheelhouse. He’s been fine hanging out with groups before.”  
_

_“Yeah but when’s the last time he hung out with non-magical humans? Probably a good number of years.”_

Asmo had a point.

You picked up your human phone again, hoping to see something from Solomon. Nothing. You groaned and reflected. 

You were surprised. Solomon was always so...confident? Snarky? It was out of character for him to be anxious to meet new people. Then again these were people who they had to keep magic and demons a secret from. Maybe this wasn’t a great idea after all. 

You bit your lip. 

_“He just texted me. He got some jeans and is home changing. He should be there soon.”_

_”Why isn’t he texting me that???”  
_

_“Idk. It’s bath time for Asmo-chaaaan~. If you’re a good girl I’ll send you pictures. ;)”_

_“Asmo no.”_

_”You’re no fun. :(“_

”Hi!” Your head shot up. Solomon swung his legs over the railing on the balcony, perching himself there.

“Really? Couldn’t use the stairs?” You threw a grape at him. He caught it midair with magic, grinning. 

“But this way is so much more fun.” 

“What will be even more fun is the footage from the security cameras in the parking lot.” 

“Mhmm.” He popped the grape in his mouth. 

“Looking sharp magic man.” You noticed he had changed into more normal attire. Sleeves rolled up, shirt slightly unbuttoned and his silver necklace around his neck. You noticed he opted to forgo the dickie, showing off his neck. 

“You look comfortable.” He smirked. 

“Shut up.” You threw another grape at him. This time he caught it in his mouth. “I’ll change before we go.” 

Solomon snorted as he hopped off the railing and decided to boldly raid your grape bag. 

“So what’s up? You’ve been pretty busy lately.”

“Just some follow up with witches from the phenomena occurring from a certain somebody’s wild magic.” 

“You make it sound so exciting and not terrifying.” You grumbled as he picked up the bag and plopped next to you, crossing his legs casually. 

“You’re getting better at controlling it. The Ring of Light has helped tremendously. Oh, and my tutelage of course. You’ll get better as time goes on, my adorable little apprentice.” He pinched your cheek.

”You’re a creepy old man. You know that, right?” 

Solomon laughed. 

“Should I worry about you offering my friends hard candy?” You teased. 

“Hmm.” Solomon grunted and shifted in his seat. 

“Solomon, I’m teasing you. You’re still a good thousand years young. You’re practically a baby in demon years.” It was your turn to pinch his cheek. “You’re going to have fun tonight. My friends are really excited to meet you.” 

“If you say so.” Solomon sighed as he rubbed the place you pinched. 

“You sound so enthusiastic.” 

“It’s nothing. I’m just trying to think of non-magic things to discuss.” 

“Solomon. You wrote a book about fish, you like cooking, watching anime with Levi, and tabletop gaming. I think you’ll be in good company.” 

“You think so?” 

“I know so. They’re all nerds.” 

“Interesting.” He appeared to be deep in thought. 

“They’re also off limits to any experiments, Solomon.” You added sternly. 

“I would never dream of it.” Bullshit. 

A half hour later, you decided it was probably time to go get dressed. Solomon waved you off as you told him to help himself to whatever drinks he wanted from the fridge and was flipping through one of the books on your coffee table. 

You guys may not be going anywhere fancy, but you were going into the city, and your girls’ group chat had decided to at least look somewhat casual, yet devastating in order to score some free drinks. You all knew the guys didn’t care as long as you finagled them some as well. 

A few of your friends were actively dating each other. You were glad everyone was chill with whatever at this point. They trusted each other and knew when they should step in when something started with someone flirting. 

Asmo started texting you again impatiently. A few texts came in from Mammon demanding to know why Asmo was texting you so much. You finally flipped your D.D.D. over so it was face down while doing your make up. You heard Solomon raid your fridge for what sounded like the water jug. You snapped a few pictures in the mirror of your shorts, crop top, and jacket combo and sent them to Asmo and your girls chat.   
  
Asmo’s response was lightning fast with innumerable flame and heart eye emojis and finally the text that made you choke on your water bottle. 

_“Solomon is going to have a heart attack. Film his reaction? I want to see the second whatever is left of his soul leave his body when he sees you.”_

_“Asmo!”  
_

_“It’s true!”_

Your phone pinged again. Mammon. 

_“HEY! WHERE DO YA THINK YA GOING DRESSED LIKE THAT WITHOUT THE GREAT MAMMON TO BE YOUR BODYGUARD?”  
_

_“Out. :p”_

Alright, time to get whatever video for Asmo. You started to film and sneakily angled the phone as you walked into the living room. 

“Hey Sol.” Solomon was leaning on the kitchen counter on his D.D.D. He glanced up.

“Ready to gooo...” Solomon’s voice dropped several octaves and trailed off as he stared at you. His face started going redder and redder. 

“I-uh-hm. Wow.” Solomon finally managed. 

“Thanks.” You smirked. Yeah, the brothers were going to have a field day. You glanced down and stopped the video, and sending it to Asmo.

“So am I driving or are we playing with portals?” You both planned on portal, but if he was distracted, it was probably best you drove. But that meant you had to be DD and not get shitfaced. 

“I can portal us there.” Solomon finally managed to collect himself. 

“Alright, let me pull up a street view map so we can find somewhere to discreetly drop in.” 

You could feel Solomon still staring as you brought up the map and slid it across to him in your human phone as you heard your D.D.D start to blow up. 

“Alright, I got it.” Solomon cleared his throat. 

“Ok, let me grab my bag, make sure everything is locked, and we’ll go.”

_-45 minutes later-_

You breathed a sigh of relief. Everyone had ordered, and everyone was getting along. It had taken Solomon a bit, but he had finally seemed to relax and was talking about freshwater fish tanks with your friend Greg. You had managed to dodge questions about how and where you met. Your normal phone pinged.

 _“Soooo...?”_ The text was from your friend Holly next to you. She waggled her eyebrows at you.

_”Soooo what?”_

_”Y’all more than friends? Bennies? What? Spilllllll”_

_“Nah, just friends.”_

_“Boringggg.”_ She rolled her eyes and shot you a look that said are you kidding me. You giggled and stole a piece of tamago from her plate. 

“Hey!” She in turn popped a piece of volcano roll from your plate in her mouth and stuck her tongue out. 

“Well with the way he keeps looking at you, I doubt that’s going to be the case by the end of the night.” She leaned in and hissed in your ear. You choked on the piece of egg. 

“Don’t die.” She clapped you on the back. “You still owe me shots.” 

“Are you alright?” Solomon leaned over and poured you some more tea. 

“I’m good.” 

Two hours later, you all found yourself in the bar. It was getting steadily more crowded as the music blared. Your group had managed to commandeer a table, which with eight people, was proving a bit difficult. The bar itself had two floors, the upstairs being a nightclub floor. It wasn’t fancy, but the drinks were cheap, delicious, and strong. Nonetheless, Solomon looked to be enjoying himself. 

Already, it appeared your outfits were doing what they were supposed to. Two people had bought you and your friends beers. Several shots had been had and you were feeling pretty alright.

You knew to keep it under control. You weren’t able to actually get drunk in the Devildom due to the ever popular demonus having zero effect on humans, so you knew the alcohol was going to hit you hard. 

Solomon had a sulky look on his face as the bartender came over and tapped you on the shoulder. 

“Dude at the bar wanted to send you this.” He practically yelled to be heard over the music. He handed you a glass full of some fruity cocktail and pointed out a guy in a driving cap with a goatee and waistcoat. He tipped his hat and you felt like cringing. “He said a peach fizz for a peach of a lady.” Ok, you physically cringe this time.

“What, none for us? Bro.” Greg loudly protested opening his arms in a ‘Really?’ Gesture. 

“Tell him I’m flattered but no thank you. Greg, all yours.” You slid the drink over to him. 

“Sweet.” Greg seized it and toasted the guy at the bar. The bartender shrugged and hurried back to the bar.   
  
You nudged the grumpy looking Solomon with your hip as you leaned on the high top table. 

“Having fun?” You leaned in and spoke into his ear. 

“Yes.” He gave a small smile. 

“LADIESSS! And gentlemen.” The guy from the bar had walked over to your table. Great. “Hey there. I’m Rob.”

“I appreciate the drink, but-“ 

“Ah! Ah ah ah! How about this?” He held a finger up while reaching into his waistcoat. “If I managed to blow your mind with some magic, how about you and I go upstairs to the dance floor, Kitten?” 

Oh god, one of those. You could vomit. It was whatever when Asmo said it, but when someone else did...You glanced at Solomon who glanced away, opting to take a long sip of his stout to hide his smile. 

“She’ll do it.” Your friend Ann yelled. “Bring it on magic man!” 

You forced a smile. This was going to be interesting. 

“Alright! Here, pick a card.” He pulled a deck out. You reluctantly did so. “Now take this sharpie and write your phone number on the card.” You quickly jotted down a fake number. “Awesome.” He quickly ripped the card up and threw the pieces in your pint of beer, put a coaster on top, and flipped it upside down on the table and flicking it three times.

”Now think hard about what you wrote. Now check your bra.” He grinned suggestively. Solomon tapped your shoulder, and you felt a static shock. You glanced at him. He quickly gave you an innocent look. You looked uncomfortable as you reached in and found a folded card against your ribs. How the hell did that creep do that? 

“Go ahead and show everyone.” You unfolded it and laid it on the table. “Now, that should be your phone numb-” He glanced down and went pale. You glanced down as well. You recognized the face card, but instead of your number, it was emblazoned in Solomon’s handwriting 

‘Fuck off.’ 

You choked holding in your laughter. 

“S-Sorry, must be a mistake. Let’s see if it’s decided to go home.” He set his deck on the table face down and spread them out. Solomon tapped the table as he flipped the card on the end, sending the deck to flip over elegantly.

Your table erupted in yells of ”Oh shit!” And “Bro!”. Every single card card read ‘She’s not that into you.’ 

“I think your cards are broken.” Solomon had his trademark smirk in place as leaned his head on his fist and tightened his grip, a tattoo of three staves and seven stars becoming visible. The man spluttered out an apology and quickly gathered his cards and rushed away. The tattoo faded instantly. 

“Solomon, step outside with me.” You grabbed his hand as your friends still whooped. 

He was still smirking as you pulled him to the outside drink deck. 

“You’re an ass!” You poked his chest before putting your hands on your hips. 

“Would you rather be dancing with him, _Kitten_?” His smiled wickedly as he drew the word out. 

You gagged as he laughed. 

“Besides he did it to himself. I recognized him as an apprentice of an acquaintance of mine. Behavior like that doesn’t quite reflect well on his master. That and I’m sure he hasn’t obtained his license yet.” He shrugged. 

You sighed and put your hand on your forehead. 

“No more magic tonight until we go home, deal?” 

“As my cute apprentice wishes.” He took your hand from your forehead and pressed his lips to it.

”You’re such a creepy old man.” 

“Whatever you say, Kitten.” You cringed hard. 

“Quit calling me that!” 

Solomon laughed. 

“Let’s go back in.”

It was close to one in the morning before Solomon and you stumbled into your apartment, laughing. 

It had been a fun rest of the night, filled with drinking and dancing. You found both you and Solomon becoming a bit more handsy with each other on the dance floor and decided to call it a night. 

“You’ll be alright getting home?” You kicked your shoes off. 

“More than alright. I’ve sobered up considerably.” 

“Good. Me too.” You sighed. You leaned against the wall next to the door.

“Good.” He responded. Solomon was suddenly very close to you, his grey eyes boring into yours as he placed his hands on either side of your head. “Then I have no qualms about this.” You bit your lip.

Fuck it.

Your mouths collided as you both leaned forward. This was so inappropriate, you thought to yourself as Solomon’s hands started to roam. 

You both jumped as your phone rang.

”Ignore it.” Solomon’s voice was low and ragged as he started kissing your neck. 

“I can’t, it’s Holly. Something might have happened.” You pushed him away. “Hey...” You answered. 

“Hey. Just wanted to make sure you got home. Also I seem to have your ID, so you must have mine. I’ll be driving by your place in like 5 minutes, can I drop it off?”

You glanced at Solomon, his gaze hungry and pupils blown out. As much as you wanted to continue, you two really needed to stop. This was not appropriate for an apprentice and master. Ugh.

“Sure. I’ll still be up.” Disappointment fell across Solomon’s face as he backed up. “I’ll see you then.” You hung up.

“I should get going then.” He grunted as he ran his hand through his hair. “My apologies.” 

“No, Solomon wait.” You reached out and grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry. It’s just, we’re in a different type of relationship now and it’s not...” You trailed off trying to find the words. “It’s not you, god, no. It’s just the principle of the thing.” 

“Ah.” Realization seemed to wash over him along with embarrassment. “You’re completely right. As your master, it would be completely inappropriate. I’m sorry.” 

“Once I become a full fledged sorcerer, it’ll be a different story though.” You offered with a smile. 

“I suppose so.” Solomon smiled back. “Guess that means you should get your homework done faster.” He smirked.

”Or longer lessons?” You offered. 

“We’ll see what I can do. I want you to pass your exam with flying colors, not to half-ass it from rushing through your lessons.” 

“Agreed.” 

“We’ll up the intensity of your lessons, if you can prove to handle it.”

”I can.”

You heard someone coming up the stairs.

“Good. I’ll hold you to it then.” Solomon murmured as he kissed your cheek. Holly knocked on the door next to you. He opened a portal and walked into it. “Goodnight my apprentice.” 

“Goodnight Solomon.” He disappeared. You sighed before turning to open the door. 

Asmo was going to have a coronary. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dang. I did not think this chapter would take this long. I hope it was alright. Thanks for reading this far! 
> 
> Next up is an attic club sandwich cuddle party. You’re invited.


	10. Attic Club Sandwich - Beel and Belphie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Twins decide the best remedy for being out in the cold is a snuggle fest. Chapter 16 spoilers yo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s cold and snowy and I don’t know about you, but I could go for being in the middle of a cuddle pile right now.

Levi better appreciate this figurine. You thought to yourself as you shivered.

Levi had promised you a hundred Grimm and a limited edition Kitty Créme Brûlée from Cat’s Eye as a reward for successfully obtaining the newest winter snow tubing Ruri-Chan figurine while he completed his online exam. 

“Bring Ruri-Chan home where she belongs.” He had looked into your eyes with such gravity as he handed you the voucher, you would have thought it was Henry you were supposed to rescue.

What he didn’t tell you was the shop was only letting two people in at a time. The last release had the entire store flooded with fans and the local Devildom fire department had dinged them with fines for being over capacity. Apparently the owners didn’t want a repeat. Well, at least from what you heard from those around you. As a result, you had been standing in line outside in the snow flurries for an hour and a half.

You scrunched your nose and glanced down at the ticket marked 46. It was the first 50, so he should be getting the other limited edition items as well. You looked up and saw you were five people away from the door. Almost there! 

You looked up as you heard someone call your name. Luke came barreling towards you and caught you in a hug.

”Luke! Be gentle!” Simeon scolded, not far behind. 

“It’s alright Simeon.” You giggled. “I need the body heat right now.”

”We were just wondering what this line is.” Luke looked up at you before he let go.

”Figurine release. Levi’s in the middle of an exam so I’m getting his.” 

“No, he’s not. I saw his gamertag online in the middle of a raid before we left the house. He’s been online all day.” Solomon walked up. “He probably didn’t want to come out in the snow.” 

Fury began to build inside you. 

“Hey human! The line’s moved. Go in already!” The demon behind you snapped 

“Solomon can you wait a moment? I’ll see you guys in a few.” You grumbled and went to retrieve the model. 

You made a note to get some cling wrap. Ruri-Chan was going in a box that was covered in duct tape, zip tied, and in an ice brick before you gave her to Levi hopefully with some help from a certain sorcerer. 

You ranted to Solomon as soon as you exited. He listened with an air of amusement before offering a better solution of a rather difficult milk crate sized puzzle box he happened to be in possession of. You had agreed and now you walking back, Levi’s good locked securely in the box, which now had a spell preventing it from being broken open if Levi decided to rage quit.

Solomon had stopped you before you left and wound his scarf around your neck, informing you there was a warming spell placed on the scarf. You were so grateful. You had been shivering before but now it was somewhat bearable. Plus the scarf smelled like sandalwood aftershave and you could not complain about that. 

You couldn’t tell if you were shaking from the cold or from cackling so hard at imagining the look on Levi’s face as you handed him this box before his designated live unboxing. You decided to take Beel with you to his room, just in case he decided to shift and attempt to murder you.

You barely felt your hands as you opened the door to the house. You spotted Beel and called out to him as you took your coat off, shook off the snow, and shakily hung it up to dry. 

“I’ll make you hot chocolate if you be my bodyguard.” 

“Deal.” 

-Ten Minutes Later- 

Beel ran out of Levi’s room with you slung over his shoulder as Levi’s enraged screeches echoed down the hall. 

“TELL ME HOW TO OPEN THIS BOX!” Levi slid out of the door, hot on your tail. 

“Lucifer’s room! I heard music in there when we came up!” 

The door swung open before Beel reached it. 

“What is the meaning-” Lucifer snarled as Beel ran past him into the room. 

-Another five minutes later-

“So, did you lie about the exam or did you shirk it?” Lucifer growled as Levi trembled. 

“L-Lucifer! I-I”

”Answer me truthfully Leviathan.” 

“The exam was yesterday, but I got the days mixed up and they already said they’d go for me and it was snowing and I got really into this game-”

”REALLY? YOU LET ME FREEZE MY ASS OFF FOR ALMOST TWO HOURS!” You yelled as you attempted to defrost in front of Lucifer’s fireplace. You were still shivering slightly. “Some friend you are.” You grumbled. Levi looked down. 

“You’re right, I’m terrible. I’m such a worthless, gross otaku.”

”Don’t play the ‘pity me’ card.” Lucifer growled. “You’re getting all of us that créme brûlée now for inconveniencing me.” 

“Can I have 3?” Beel asked.

“No, but pick up two extra anyway and deliver them to Lord Diavolo and Barbatos on your way home. In order to be fair, you have 2 hours to go, complete your task and bring dessert home. I advise you go now.” 

“Not fair!” Levi whined.

“One hour and fifty-nine minutes.” 

Levi gulped and ran out of the room. 

“You’re still cold.” Beel felt your cheeks. 

“I should go take a bath.” You sighed.

”I advise against it until you warm up further.” Lucifer commented as he felt your hands. “Your hands are freezing and you will undoubtedly misjudge how hot the water is and burn yourself without realizing it. Badly.” 

You groaned. 

“Fine, I’ll get Asmo to run me a bath. He’ll be over the moon.”

”He’s live-streaming. Come hang out with Belphie and I for a bit. The attic is pretty warm. Heat rises, you know. Plus Belphie stashed all the fluffy blankets up there.”

“Alright. I’ll message Asmo to let him know.” You gave in as another shiver ran through your body. You gave up trying to type and used voice to text. Beel lifted you up bridal style as Lucifer snorted. 

“I think they’re capable of walking.” 

“Yeah, but it’s warmer this way.” He shrugged. 

Belphie barely opened his eye as Beel entered the room. 

“Why are you carrying them?”

”They’re freezing. We need to warm them up.” Beel set you gently on the bed. 

“Hmmm.” Belphie sat up and yawned. He scooted over and patted the space next to him in the bed. You burrowed under the covers and snuggled in next to the avatar of sloth. Belphie took his usual position curled up on your lap and his eyes widened as he put your hand on his cheek.

“Beel, you weren’t exaggerating. Come on. We need to warm them up.” 

Beel nodded and kicked off his shoes before sliding in behind you and wrapping his arms around your torso. Belphie readjusted and you found your face buried in his chest as he pulled you close. 

Their combined body heat was like being wrapped in a breathing electric blanket. It wasn’t long before your body gradually stopped trembling. Your body started to relax and you felt yourself drift off as you felt Beel bury his warm face in your shoulder.

“Your stomach feels cold. Can I help warm that up?” Beel asked. 

“Yes, please.”

You sighed as Beel slid his warm hands slightly under your shirt and rested on your abdomen, acting like a heating pad. 

Belphie snuggled in even closer, fingers rubbing your cold ears and then down your neck. Your body involuntarily seized up at the first touch and you recoiled back into Beel, hands flying up to dig your nails into his hand. He hissed and snatched his hand back in pain.

“Belphie, hands off my neck.” You squeaked, and started shaking again from the adrenaline spike. 

“Sorry. I thought we were past that.” 

“You don’t get past being murdered very easily. It’s going to take a bit more Angel therapy.” 

Beel tightened his grip. 

Lucifer had passed you off to Simeon to “Sort your complex human emotions out.” It had helped significantly, but you weren’t quite at the place where you could have Belphie touch your neck it seemed. 

Belphie was quiet. 

“Would you like me to leave?” 

You thought for a moment.

”No, just don’t touch my neck or face please.” You finally spoke. 

“Ok.” Belphie slowly laid his arm on top of Beel’s arm. 

“You can snuggle back in if you want.” You mumbled. Belphie carefully readjusted again and you hesitantly wrapped your arm around him again. You felt your heart rate start to calm once more. Beel exhaled. 

“Are you feeling warm yet?” He changed the subject. 

“Yeah. Thanks guys.” 

Belphie had already started snoring. 

“Belphie didn’t mean to sound rude. I think he wants to just put it behind you two and for you to be as close with him as you are with us.” Beel murmured sadly in your ear. “He can be a bit impatient.” 

“I know, Beel.” You reached back and scratched his scalp lightly. 

Belphie stirred and grumbled, reaching for your arm without opening his eyes and securing it back around him. He started snoring again. 

You still felt a bit cool, but knew you’d warm up soon enough. You drifted off to sleep. 

You woke up feeling a bit disoriented. You had no idea how long you were out, but Beel smelled like the Devildom’s version of Doritos, so long enough for him to get up, snack, come back and fall back asleep. You were significantly warmer now. You settled back down to go back to sleep. You closed your eyes and the door banged open.

”Bath’s running!” Asmo crowed. “I put extra bubbles and herbs in it just for my darling Sheep-Chan!” He was met by three sets of groans and flying pillows. 

“I’ll be down soon, Asmo.” You mumbled. “Thanks.” 

“How come you two never let me cuddle like this?” 

“You don’t shut up or keep your hands to yourself.” Belphie replied without opening his eyes. 

“Honestly Belphie, you’re so rude.” Asmo scowled. “And you should feel honored that I want to cuddle with you guys! I have fans and witches who would sell their soul for the opportunity!” 

“Then go cuddle with some of them.” 

The three of you let out groans and yelps of protest as Asmo launched himself to lay across all three of you. 

“Get off! You’re heavy!” Belphie growled. 

“Am not! I’m the perfect weight!” Asmo sniffed. 

“Asmo, your elbow is in my kidney.” You whined, twisted in a weird angle.

“Sorry, kitten.” 

“Get. Off.” Belphie shoved Asmo, earning grunts of pain from you and Beel.

”Belphie stop shoving! You’ll bruise my skin!”

“Asmo get your knee out of my groin!”

“Ok Asmo, if you get up I’ll go with you to take that bath.” You conceded.

”Ok!” Asmo happily rolled off and stood at the end of the bed, patiently waiting for you to disentangle yourself from the twins. “Ooh! I have the perfect shampoo and body wash you HAVE to try!” 

A few minutes later, you slid into the hot, fragrant bubbly water of Asmo’s private bath. The warmth of the water wasn’t quite a replacement for the twin’s body heat, but it would do.

Asmo had gone back to streaming from the sound of it. You supposed you had a bit of time before the other brothers started banging on his door for hogging the bandwidth.

Your bath lasted twenty minutes until Mammon and Satan beat down the door. From what you could hear, Mammon was trying to game and Satan was trying to watch a livestream of sand cat kittens.

Asmo had graciously laid out some towels and some warm clothes to get dressed in. Returning to your room, you found your bed occupied. 

“Belphie, what are you doing?” You scratched his head. 

“Do you hate me?” He looked up at you. 

“Why would you ask me that?” 

“Because I manipulated and murdered you.” Alright then, being blunt. 

“Belphie, I don’t hate you. I haven’t quite forgiven you for it, but I’m working on it. It’s complicated. Human emotions and psychology is complex.” You started as you sat on the bed next to him. “I’m sure the same applies to demons.” 

“So you’re still scared of me.” Belphie sighed dejectedly. You were quiet. “How do I help you not be scared of me?” 

“You’re just going to have to give me time, Belphie. I need you to be patient, okay?” 

“Beel and Satan said the same thing.” Belphie muttered. 

“And they’re right.” 

Silence.

”We can start by going to get our créme brûlée before Beel eats it all, okay?” You held out your hand to him. He nodded and took it.

As you passed Levi hanging upside down in the hall, begging for help, you glanced at Belphie. It was definitely going to be a while, but you had a feeling maybe one day those fears would fade.

Until then, you guessed you could continue the attic club sandwich cuddle piles. The winter was long, but at least you knew you had a pair of cuddle loving demons to keep you warm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That moment when you write sleepy cuddles cozy scenes and end up getting sleepy and needing to take naps. Oops. Thanks for reading! Up next: Barbatos!


	11. Sugar Sugar - Barbatos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You decide to teach Luke some hand clapping games before a baking lesson. Barbatos is amused.
> 
> F!Baker!MC!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do kids nowadays still even play hand games? Also, baking with Barbatos is the fluffiest scenario. Happy Valentine’s Day!

“This is pointless!” Luke grumbled as he missed your hand again. 

“It’s ok! You’re doing good, Luke. You just need to practice. Let’s slow it down again.” You held you hands out again. Luke had expressed curiosity when you discussed games human children had played when you were growing up with Solomon. So naturally you were teaching him Miss Mary Mack. Unfortunately, Luke wanted to go full speed and kept tripping up. You really wanted to teach him Concentration 64, but he needed to be able to keep rhythm first before adding in the quick thinking aspect of a game.

Solomon had backed off with his hands up, citing it had been centuries since playing hand games. 

“Let’s try another one. Double double. Hold out your fists.” Luke managed to catch on much quicker with this game, but still missed and slipped up with groans of frustration.

“Oh hello. I was curious as to where you ran off to after class, Luke.” Barbatos approached with a smile. “We have a lesson today.” 

“I’m learning hand games.” Luke looked up at Barbatos. “It’s hard.” The Angel wrinkled his nose. “What’s the point of these anyways?” He huffed. 

“We can stop if you’re not having fun, Luke.” You offered. 

“No!” Luke yelped. “I-I mean, cultural exchange is the point of us being here right?” 

“Hmm...we actually have one in the Devildom some of the children of the castle staff are fond of.” Barbatos smiled. “They insisted on teaching me once.” He chuckled.

You felt your heart melt at the thought of Barbatos playing with kids.

”It’s called slide.” 

“Wait! We have one called slide!” You got excited. “How does yours go?” 

Barbatos laughed as he held out his gloved hands to take yours. “Let’s see if I can remember. It was a good number of years ago.”

You were absolutely shocked it was the same. You were equally shocked the two of you were keeping up and managed to get to seven before you both finally conceded.

”That was fun. I should probably go so you guys can go bake.” You laughed. 

“Come with us!” Luke tugged at your sleeve. 

“I think that’s up to Barbatos, Luke. I don’t want to impose.”

”As long as you aren’t busy, it is quite alright with me.” Barbatos shrugged.

You really wanted a nap, but Barbatos’s baked goods were so much more tempting. You could nap later with a full belly. Well, if you managed to outrun Beel. 

“Alright then! What are you making today?” 

“Pan au chocolat and croissants!” Luke’s grinned ear to ear as he practically skipped while walking between you and Barbatos. “We made the dough yesterday and we get to shape it today!” 

“Ooh! Sounds delightful! You know, I used to work in a bakery as a decorator, but I’m afraid my skills have deteriorated since.” 

“Would you like me to help refresh you?” Barbatos glanced over Luke’s bouncing hat. 

“Really? I mean, I don’t want to take up your time or anything.” 

“It’s no problem, really.” He reassured you.

”How about we do that next week? I’m afraid I might be a little tired today to focus much on technique.” You confessed. 

“That’s perfectly alright with me. I’ll let the Young Master know to allow me to set aside an afternoon for you.” 

“It’s a date!” You smiled and Barbatos turned pink. 

“Can I come too?” Luke chirped. “I want to see you decorate!” You giggled. 

“How about this, Luke; You pass your Devildom history test and I’ll make you a little cake of your own?” You offered. 

“Really?” Luke’s eyes widened and he looked ecstatic. “Can I still watch you decorate?” 

“Worry about passing your exam, Luke. I promise we’ll do an afternoon of decorating on our own.” Barbatos chuckled. Luke huffed sullenly as you reached the castle steps. 

The three of you made your way to the kitchen. You distracted Luke by asking him to explain laminated dough to you. You already knew about it. You never were decent at it, preferring to leave breads to your coworkers at the bakery. You never were able to get the turns right on laminated dough. Luke happily babbled in explaining everything. You smiled and nodded. 

Luke insisted you help roll the dozens of croissants they were making. You happily complied. As long as you didn’t have to make the dough, you weren’t complaining. Barbatos had graciously given you a slab of dough of your own to make and take home treats for the house. 

You did ask Barbatos permission for a few extra ingredients to make some cinnamon and honey nut braids. Generally, you would have preferred pecans, but the walnuts were fine. 

“You’ve been holding out on us!” Luke’s jaw dropped as your hands twisted and then formed delicate braids. It was a signature of one of the more upscale kitchens you worked in. The head baker had messed around years ago trying make a new creation. He had made a bastardized version of baklava and cinnamon twist filling and then worked to combine star twist, spirals, and the braided pastries and came up with the creation you were replicating. “You said you were a decorator!” 

“Sorry Luke. I did say that, but I may have failed to mention I bounced around a few local establishments over the years.” You felt a bit guilty as Luke shoved his face closer to inspect your work. 

“Luke, back up and give her a little space.” Barbatos gently tapped his shoulder as he leaned over to look over your shoulder as well. “That looks nice.” 

“Thank you. It took me a few weeks to get it right when I first learned it.” You went red with some embarrassment. This was Luke’s lesson, not show off time. You probably shouldn’t push it further.

Luke returned to his space and continued rolling his pastry dough up. You quickly went back to forming normal braids before Barbatos’s hand gently rested on your arm. You looked up, a bit startled. He smiled reassuringly. 

“Would you mind making a few extra of those for me?” He nodded towards the intricate pastry. “I think Lord Diavolo and myself would quite enjoy them.” He got close to you and murmured so as to not distract Luke. 

“S-sure!”

”Thank you.”

”What are you two whispering about?” Luke’s head shot up. 

“Don’t worry about it, Luke.” Barbatos walked over to inspect his handiwork. 

You quickly banged out a few more per Barbatos’s request before finishing off the cinnamon mixture and switching back to rolling chocolate and croissants. 

A half hour later, everything was in the ovens and you were wiping down the work stations before making a quick glaze for when the twists came out of the ovens. Barbatos had frozen a good portion of the ones he made, stating it was good to keep on hand in case of unexpected visitors. You couldn’t argue with him. 

It kept all your self control from immediately eating everything as soon as it came out of the oven. You still needed to let the glaze set before moving them to the pastry boxes Barbatos pulled from somewhere. 

You set the extras for Barbatos and Diavolo aside and slid a warm one towards Luke. 

“Really?!” Luke’s eyes grew wide. He turned to Barbatos. “Barbatos do you want to share?” 

“She made me one as well. I’ll have mine later. Enjoy, Luke.” Luke smiled as he bit into the sticky creation. 

“So good! I can’t believe a human made this!” 

“You two did all the work on the dough, I just put filling in. Nothing too earth shattering or special. Just an accompaniment to an already perfect base.” You shrugged. You failed to notice Barbatos’s smile falter as you lined the boxes with some waxed paper and transferred the pastries. 

You quickly cleaned up and put your jacket on as your DDD pinged. You glanced at it and saw a rather crabby text from Satan asking if you were coming home for dinner tonight or if he should give your portion to Beel. 

You sighed in aggravation as you called him and swung your bag over your shoulder. 

“Yes, sorry. I’m on my way home. I’m at the castle with Luke and I lost track of time.” 

“You’re at the castle? Did Diavolo need to talk to you?” 

“No. I was baking with Luke and Barbatos, and yes I’m bringing home dessert.” 

“Alright, I’ll see you at home.” Satan hung up. 

You rolled your eyes as you shoved your phone in your pocket. 

“I better get going before Satan loses it. Thanks for having us and thanks for the pastries, Barbatos.” You smiled. 

“Yeah, thanks!” Luke chirped. 

“It’s no problem. Allow me to escort you to the front door.” Barbatos have a half bow. 

_-Later that night-_

You sat crosslegged in your chair at the table in your room, homework spread out in front of you. 

You had managed to fend off Beel with a command to stay to ensure everyone got some dessert. You had smuggled the last of the special fancy braids into your room. You bit into it and almost moaned. It was so good. You almost regretted taking a bite, knowing the braids back home weren’t going to compare any longer. 

Your mother had always told you to find a man who knew how to cook. You snorted. You were sure she figured you would meet someone while working in the food industry. Unfortunately for her, the men you met were either almost twice your age, married or in relationships, in relationships with cigarettes and vodka, or just straight up douchebags. Needless to say, you had given upon finding a man who could cook. 

A few moments passed before you received a text from Barbatos. 

" _Lord Diavolo and I both enjoyed your pastries. He also instructed me to get the recipe."_

_"Sorry, sworn to secrecy per my work contract."_

_"How unfortunate. I suppose I'll have to experiment with the ingredients you had out. Or you make them for us on demand for the rest of your days."_

_"I'm sure you of all beings can figure it out fairly quickly, Mr. Master Baker of All Three Realms. Or, yunno, you can get them at the bakery next time you’re in the human world. :p"_

“ _Cheeky human_.” 

You sent a winking sticker and put the phone down to try and return to answering the homework on how to ethically harvest potion ingredients. The phone pinged again. 

_“Lord Diavolo graciously granted me the day off on Sunday if you wish to have your refresher lesson then.”_

_”That sounds lovely. What time would you like me to be there? Thank you again for this.”  
_

_”It’s my pleasure. Come at noon. Also, I took the liberty of ordering you some human world fruits and vegetables. You need to keep up with your vitamin intake from lack of sunlight. I also ordered some for Solomon.”_

You quickly sent a succession of heart emojis. You were touched. You weren’t going to complain, but it might be easier for him to just order you a bulk supply of multi-vitamins in the future. Asmo had given you a bottle of vitamins for your hair and skin (only to then say he could provide you with Asmo’s special vitamin D, for which Lucifer overheard and made him scrub the kitchen with a toothbrush.) 

You glanced at the clock. It was about that time you should be headed for bed. It may have been Friday, but you were exhausted. Plus, the guys were having a movie night and Satan was in charge of the movie, so likely a mystery horror. You did some mental math. Mammon should be coming to crash in your room any min-

“Oi, the Great Mammon has decided to grace you with his presence tonight.” Mammon burst through the door, pillow in hand. 

Damn, you were good. 

-Sunday- 

You started feeling oddly nervous as you followed the great flagstone path leading to the massive door of the castle. Lucifer had caused a huge stink about you dressing down in clothes you were comfortable working in. You argued you weren’t about to wear the Wersace clothes Diavolo had graciously gifted you to work in the kitchen all afternoon. Finally, he conceded.

So here you were, standing in front of a grand castle in non-slips, an old v-neck t-shirt and leggings. Might as well get the awkwardness over with. You took a deep breath and knocked on the wood door set inside the gigantic wall of iron and stone. It wasn’t long before the door swung open to reveal Barbatos. 

“You are precisely on time.” He smiled. If he had any thoughts about your outfit, he didn’t say anything. You noticed he was also dressed down. Good to know that even the royal butler had casual clothes. “Shall we proceed to the kitchen?” 

“Sure!” You followed him down to the large kitchen. You weren’t surprised to see he had meticulously laid out everything needed and also a few cake rounds.

“This is for you, by the way.” Your nose caught the sweet scent of fruit before you saw the crate of human world produce. It took restraint to not fall upon the carton of perfect looking strawberries sitting on top like an undignified feral hog. 

“Thank you so much.” 

“Of course.” Barbatos held out an apron to you. You noticed his gloves were off for once. “Now, how about you show me what you know, and we can go from there?” 

Barbatos stayed close behind you as you quickly cut, filled, and iced one of the rounds. 

“One moment.” Barbatos touched your hand as you reached for the piping bag. “Let me just look over your handiwork.”

You felt him brush against your shoulder as he moved to gently spin the turn table to examine the cake. 

“Not bad for someone whose skills have, how did you describe them? Deteriorated?” He gave you a wry smile. 

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Barbatos. You and I know that it doesn’t look nearly as clean as it should.”

”How long has passed since your last cake?” Barbatos leaned against the counter and tilted his head inquisitively. 

You took a deep breath to rack your brain. How long had it been? You had taken your office job for the insurance and higher pay six months before you came to the Devildom. You had been here almost seven months. You cringed. 

“Over a year.” You finally admitted, looking away in embarrassment.

“It could look a lot worse for being over a year.” Barbatos gently tapped his finger on your hand to bring your eyes back to him. “In addition, I think you’re rushing. You’ve slid into commercial kitchen work mode, not leisurely lesson mode. I noticed the other day with the croissants how fast you worked, focusing more on speed and efficiency, rather than just relaxing with Luke and I.” 

His turquoise eyes bore into yours. He was suddenly quite a bit closer than before. 

“Take a deep breath, and let’s just relax.” He gently smiled. You nodded. “Clean it up a bit. I’ll be back momentarily.” With that he departed your side. 

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, paying attention to how your body felt. You were surprised to feel the tension in your shoulders. You laced your fingers together and stretched them above your head, exposing your midriff and felt the satisfying crackles and pops in your back. You leaned to the side and groaned in satisfaction at the cracking and stretch before stretching to the other side. 

“Mmm fuck...” You moaned under your breath as finally your shoulders popped. Someone cleared their throat. Your eyes shot open to see Barbatos standing before you, face lightly dusted pink. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t hear you come back.” You noticed he had a pair of wine glasses in hand along with a bottle and corkscrew. 

“I thought this might help you to relax and shut off the work part of your brain.” Barbatos gently set the stemware down. 

“Barbatos, you know demonus has no effect on humans.” You reminded him as he deftly opened the bottle. 

“It is a good thing it isn’t demonus then.” He chuckled as he presented the label. Your eyes widened slightly upon seeing the label stating it was a late harvest white from a very well known Napa Valley winery. 

“How did you get this?” You gently took the chilled bottle to check the vintage. “I’m impressed.” 

“A butler must never reveal his secrets.” Barbatos held his hand out for the bottle and expertly poured you a glass.

“Wine and cake in a castle. I should hang out with you more often. You certainly know the way to a girl’s heart.” You chuckled as you lightly smelled the wine before taking a sip. You and your girl friends had often spoke of going on a trip to Napa Valley. This definitely beat the two buck chuck from the local grocery store. 

“Do you like it?” Barbatos asked as he took a sip of his own.

“It’s wonderful.” 

“Let’s let it breathe a bit. How about we get back to our task at hand?” 

“Alright.” 

The time seemed to fly by. The wine certainly had helped to relax you. As much as you wanted to chug a second glass, you opted to go way more slowly than you would normally. You did not intend to get inebriated in any manner in the castle kitchen.

Occasionally, Barbatos would brush against you, sending a jolt of flutters through your stomach. Why? You’d never had that reaction before with him. Then again, you hadn’t had any physical contact with Barbatos before and now you found out he was pretty hands on when correcting your technique. You found that especially so on flowers.

“May I assist?” You felt his hand gently wrap around yours on the piping bag, and his chest brush against your back. “It’s more like this motion and angle.” He gently guided your hand through the motion, piping the flower with ease. 

“Ah, okay. I see now. Thanks!” Your face was flushed pink as his hand lingered. “Luke is very lucky to be taking lessons from you.” 

“Luke is a very eager student.” Barbatos chuckled into your ear as he released your hand and took a step back. “I’m more than happy to share my knowledge.” 

You turned to face him and laughed. 

“What’s so funny?” He turned slightly pink and looked almost embarrassed. “Was it something I said?” 

“Hold still, you got buttercream on your face from the bag.” You quickly reached up and wiped it off and licked your finger. Barbatos’s face went from pink to red almost immediately. How cute. 

“Delicious.” You giggled. The demon seemed at loss for words. You both opted to reach for wine bottle instead and your hands clashed. 

“Sorry.” You both apologized simultaneously. Barbatos took your hands in his and gently pulled you closer, he opened his mouth to say something as the door to the kitchen flew open. 

“Barbatos! Good news! Solomon. found that bakery!” Diavolo walked in. “Oh. Am I interrupting?”

“Ah, no, Young Master.” Barbatos let go of your hands. “That’s good to hear.” 

“This wouldn’t happen to be the bakery I used to work at, would it, Barbatos?” You quirked an eyebrow. 

“As I recall, you declined to stay here the rest of your days and make them, so I was left with no choice.” 

“Cheeky Demon.” 

You glanced at your phone. Wow, time had flown by. 

“We should probably call it a day.” You sighed. “We should do this again sometime. It was fun!” 

“Would next week be alright?” Barbatos asked. 

“Sure! Let me help clean up.” 

You caught Barbatos smiling to himself as he wiped down the table.

Yeah, this was definitely going to be a regular thing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Listen, Barbs is one hella smooth dude and you know it.  
> Gonna have to spin the wheel for the next chapter. Will it be Simeon? Another Dia installment? Who knows.


	12. Smelly sheep smelly sheep - Mammon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You decide to ask Solomon how you know how a demon is interested in you. He enlightens you on demon behavior which leads to a massive blow out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random draw! Mammon!

You were so confused right now. Recent changes in behavior of several demons around you had started becoming rather apparently. Especially with Mammon. He was your designated guardian demon, but he had been acting especially over protective lately. 

Before being dragged to the Devildom, you had decided to give up on dating for a while and focus on yourself. But now, you suspected you had caught the eye of several demons and you had zero idea of how to attempt to handle that. You narrowed it down to either they had crushes on you, they wanted to eat you, or maybe demons just had zero awareness of personal space. You figured it would hopefully blow over once the novelty of a human being around wore off. Perhaps Solomon could provide you with some type of insight.   
  
You picked up your phone and called Solomon. 

“This is a pleasant surprise.” Solomon chuckled.

“Hey Solomon, I have a weird question. How do you know if a demon likes you romantically? I have suspicions and I don’t want to tell someone I’m not interested and end up it being an awkward mistake.” 

“Why are you asking me this?” Solomon responded, sounding both confused and amused. “Asmo would have been better.” 

“You have the most experience with demons and I’d rather discuss it with you than have an awkward conversation with my overprotective housemates. Asmo would assume I was talking about him, then have a dramatic melt down when it’s not about him, and interrogate me for hours.” 

“Alright, that’s fair. They usually either won’t get out of your personal space or bring you deadly items or dead things as gifts.” The sorcerer sighed. “One of my pacts was in love with a witch and would constantly leave dead spiders and eels on her doorstep until I convinced him flowers or at least something taxidermied was a better idea.” You could hear the disgust in his voice. ”That trend fortunately fell out of fashion about a thousand years ago and now it’s more acceptable to give them food. Has someone caught your eye?” His voice held a spark of curiosity and maybe what you thought was nervousness. 

“I haven’t even had time to think about that kind of thing. Besides, I’m only here for a year and cross realm relationships seem unappealing.” 

“Oh.” He sounded a bit relieved. “That shouldn’t keep you from going on a few dates here and there.” 

“You know who I live with right? There would be a riot if I went on a date with someone.”   
  
Solomon laughed. 

“Hey, I have a call on the other line, but there is one last thing you should know. I’ll call you back in a few.” 

“Bye.” You responded. 

While the demons in question had disregarded your personal space, none of them had brought you food, poison, or thankfully, carcasses. You mulled over it. The demons in this case were namely Mammon and Belphie. Although Mephistopheles had been pushing it pretty close before Mammon literally chased him off. 

Your phone buzzed next to you, Solomon’s name blazoned across the screen. 

“Hey.”

”Sorry about that, it was Barbatos needing something. Listen. I did forget to mention one thing.” Solomon spoke quickly. “It slipped my mind because honestly we as humans don’t detect it. A huge indicator if a demon is interested is if they bypass all the above and just go straight for scent marking you. It’s pretty possessive and to the point, but it kinda wards off any competition for your affections.”

”Sorry, what? Like a dog?” Visions of demons marking their territory like a dog with a hydrant filled your mind. Oh god, please no.

”No, no, no. It’s more like a cat.” Solomon chuckled. 

“Solomon are you saying they’re going to spray on me?” 

“No, now listen instead of interrupting.” Solomon reprimanded. “Demons have scent glands behind their ears and near their cheeks like cats and opossums. If they view you as theirs, they’ll rub their face on you. Asmo has been complaining that Belphegor and Mammon have been cuddling with you a LOT lately. I suspect they’re both scent marking you and attempting to cover up each other’s smell.” 

“Okay then.” You responded, attempting to process, flashing back to arguments between Mammon and Belphie about who had last stayed the night with you. “So, I basically smell like Mammon and Belphie to other demons and that’s why all my classmates have been avoiding me? Do you know how hard it is to try and get group work done when people won’t talk to you or look at you?” 

“More or less. Asmo might be trying to throw his in whenever he has a chance to. I know he tries to rub his face on me whenever he can. I do stop him though. I would say to discourage their behavior, but I’m also suspecting it’s keeping you safe at the moment. No lower demon wants to mess with an upper demon’s property, especially when it’s Mammon or Belphegor.” 

“I’m not property!” You practically yelled.

”I know you aren’t.” Solomon started. “But that’s kind of the only way to describe it. Just be aware. If they’re demanding cuddles after you shower, do laundry, or interact physically with others, I think you have your answer.” 

You groaned. Normal people shouldn’t have to deal with their housemates trying to scent mark them.

”Just have a conversation with them. The longer you don’t address this, the more they’re going to rub on you to cover each other’s smell up and the more fights it’s going to lead to.” Solomon warned. “This behavior is to be expected from Asmo, but I think you might want to get Lucifer involved as back up in case they don’t take it well.” 

“Thanks Solomon.” You replied dully. 

“I’m just trying to prepare you.” Solomon sighed. “You and I both know demons don’t handle rejection too well. Just let me know how it goes, ok?” 

“Ok. Thanks Solomon.”

”Any time. I do quite enjoy our phone calls. Until next time.” 

“Yeah, talk to you later. Bye.” You hung up. Solomon was right. The sooner the better. You groaned as you sat up and found your slippers. You did not want to have this conversation with Lucifer. 

_-Thirty minutes later-_

Lucifer rubbed his temples. He had indeed gotten about a foot away before wrinkling his nose and sitting back down.

”It never crossed my mind to inform you of such things.” He sighed. “I certainly can understand your discomfort. However, I do ask you to keep in mind it is in a demon’s nature to do that.” He leaned back in his chair. 

“I know. I just need nights alone in my bed and not to smell like both of them twenty-four seven.” 

“Forgive my asking, but how many nights exactly are my brothers spending in your room?” Lucifer’s eyes flashed dangerously. 

“Ummm...” You hesitated. “It’s gotten to five at least.” You finally mumble. “Asmo tries at least once a week. Belphie prefers to sleep in my room during the day and with Beel at night. Mammon crashes two or three times a week, and Friday nights I’m up late with Levi. Belphie and Mammon have been arguing over the amount the other has been spending in my room.” You flashed back to that cold night with four brothers fighting over your bed. 

“Alright then.” Lucifer’s expression was unreadable which made it even worse. 

Soon, the four of you sat awkwardly in Lucifer’s study. 

“What’s so important you had to wake me up?” Belphie yawned. 

“It has been brought to my attention you two have been having a bit of a rivalry lately.” 

“Whaddya talking about?” Mammon narrowed his eyes. 

“I’m talking about the fact both of you are rubbing your scent off so much on the human that I can’t even smell their own scent, and that both of you can’t manage to sleep in your own beds.” Lucifer growled. 

Almost immediately, both demons started yelling at once. 

“Enough!” Lucifer’s rage was starting to seep from him. “I don’t care who started it, I’m ending this now. Both of you are to stay in your own beds from now on.”

”That’s not up to you to decide, Lucifer.” Belphie growled. “Tell him!” He rounded to you. ”Why did you have to get Lucifer involved anyways? If we make you so uncomfortable, why couldn’t you just tell us?!” 

“I’ve been trying to and no one has been listening to me!” You finally snap. “I’m not a possession or a body pillow! I’ve told you both before if you don’t stop fighting, none of you are allowed to stay in my room!” 

“And every time you still let Mammon sleep in your room and kick Beel and me out! Why does he get to stay? He’s spent so much time already with you when I haven’t!” 

“Because I’m their first!” Mammon finally decided to break his silence. 

“I am so sick and tired of hearing you say that!” Belphie rose from his seat and shifted into his demon form. 

Mammon instantly shifted as well, moving in front of you instinctively. 

“Belphie, Mammon, Stay!”

Two smacking noises sounded as both demons faceplanted to the floor.

“Ok. Both of you listen up.” You walked over and squatted between them. “Mammon stays when you come in because he gets there first. It’s the same when you get there first before Mammon.” You sat down on the floor. 

“However, my issue right now is that I’m not being treated like a person. I feel like I’m being treated as an object. Both of you rubbing your scent on me is keeping dangerous demons away, but it’s also making our classmates avoid me like the plague which is making life pretty difficult. I can’t even get alone time to recharge socially because most nights one of you has camped out in my room solely so the other can’t get in to see if they can crash with me.” 

Both Mammon and Belphie were silent. 

“‘M sorry I made ya feel that way.” Mammon finally broke the silence and he slowly sat up. “You’re my human, ya know. It’s one of the few ways I know I can keep ya safe.”

“I assume you want space then.” Belphie tugged on your sleeve and spoke before you could reach out to Mammon. 

”For a bit, yes. We can work some type of schedule out. We’ll discuss it later.”

”How is that going to help you be less uncomfortable around me though?”

”Belphie, I told you it’s complicated.”

Belphie’s hand shot out to touch your cheek and you leaned and fell backwards into Mammon’s lap. His arms immediately locked around you protectively, wings flaring to the side. 

“Belphegor! We’ve had this conversation! I said I need time and to not touch my face! Mammon, I’m fine, settle down.” Mammon’s arms and wings relaxed, but made no move to remove you from his lap. You gingerly lifted yourself and settled beside him. He touched your hand for reassurance.

“Sorry.” Belphie suddenly scowled as he saw your hands touching. “Hey idiot, they just said they wanted space, not you to be all over them like some lovesick dumbass who can’t get the message that obviously they don’t want you.” 

“BELPHIE.” Lucifer reprimanded while your jaw dropped. 

”It’s the truth though. He is a dumbass and can’t even admit he likes them. If they wanted you, we wouldn’t be having this discussion with you here.”

Mammon’s face turned red, then pale, then flushed again as you could see tears starting to form in the corner of his eyes. 

“I-I...dammit.” Mammon suddenly released you, stood up and quickly left the room. You stood up to go after him. 

You looked at Lucifer. He sighed. 

“Go find that idiot before he breaks something valuable. Belphie, we are going to have a conversation.” 

You didn’t hesitate before running after him. You called out for him. You heard a door slam in the wing with everyone’s bedrooms. You rushed to Mammon’s door as you heard something that sounded like a bottle shatter from inside with a stream of obscenities and finally you heard him break down. 

“Mammon?” You knocked softly. 

“Go Away!” 

“Mams, please.” 

Silence.

“I’m coming in.” You turned the knob and the door swung open. Your eyes quickly found the obliterated whiskey bottle and damp spot in the opposite wall where he had apparently hurled it. The demon himself had burrowed under his blankets in his bed. 

“Mams.” You spoke gently as you sank beside him. 

“Don’t, you’ll get my scent all over you.” He snapped. Ugh Solomon was right. Again. This was not going well. 

You lifted the edge of the covers up and slid under. You quickly found Mammon and wrapped your arms around him, snuggling your face into his back. 

“What are ya doing?” He hiccuped. “I thought you wanted space?” 

“I don’t ever want you to think you’re not important to me. You’re my guardian demon, and you’re my first. Mams, I care about you. I just want to be treated like I have a say.” 

“Ya do have a say though.” Mammon rolled over to face you, face tear stained. “Your voice matters. A-And you better listen up because I’m only gonna say this once! I-I care about ya. You’re my human!” 

You reached up and gently wiped his face with your sleeve before brushing your thumb across his cheek. He leaned into your touch, holding your hand to his cheek. He turned his face and planted a soft kiss to your palm.

“So, uh...who told you about...yunno.” He rubbed his pink face on your hand. 

“Solomon.” 

“Figures. Fucking nosy sorcerer.” Mammon grumbled. 

“I’m glad he did though. I really was very confused as to why everyone was suddenly avoiding me. I figured it had something to do with the Mephistopheles incident. Nope, just you and Belphie stinking me up like a pair of skunks.” 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want Mephistopheles sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. Belphie’s just being a brat and I wanted him to back off too. I know you’re still a bit uneasy with him even if you’re trying not to be. Ya know, humans are weird. Ya have every reason to not want a damn thing to do with Belphie, yet you’re making an effort anyways.” 

“He’s making an effort too. He’s trying Mammon.” 

“You really are too nice for ya own good.” 

You brought his face down to brush your lips against his. 

Mammon’s eyes widened in shock. 

“H-hey! A little warning before you do that!” He stammered, face crimson. 

“Sorry!” You started to back up. 

“Uh-uh. Did I say I didn’t like it? Get back here and let me kiss you properly.” Mammon pulled you back in and kissed you deeply. “Mm. More.” He breathed as he pulled slightly away for air before diving back in. 

You jerked back as someone pounded on the door. 

“Mammon, it’s your turn to make dinner.” Satan yelled. “Get up and get cooking before Beel destroys the fridge.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I hear ya!” Mammon yelled back. 

You sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed. 

“It would be out of line to ask ya to stay with me tonight, wouldn’t it?” Mammon knelt behind you and wrapped his arms around you. 

“Yep.” You sighed. “It’s not forever Mammon.” 

Mammon grumbled into your shoulder. 

“If it makes you feel better, I’m telling the others they’ve been kicked out of my room as well.” 

“Can we still hang out in your room?”

”Yes, but my bed is off limits.” 

“Alright. Ya know, you’re welcome to stay in here any night you want.” 

“Thanks Mammon. Go get dinner started. I’m going to go shower.” You patted his arms. 

“Just don’t run off with Mephistopheles or anyone, ok? With us not...yunno, they’re gonna come out of the woodwork.” 

“I won’t. I promise. Come on, Satan’s going to have a coronary.”

Finally, Mammon slowly released you. You stood up. 

“It’s going to be fine, Mams. Like I said earlier, we’re going to work out a system and I’ll talk to Belphie. But Mams, you guys have to stick to respecting my boundaries.” 

“I will. I promise.” 

“I’m holding you to that promise. Now, we good?” 

“Yeah.” Mammon stood up. 

You smiled and held out your hand to him. He took it and you gave it a squeeze. Dinner was going to be awkward, but like you said it wasn’t forever. 

You parted ways at the kitchen. Your phone pinged and you saw Solomon was asking how it went.

Oh boy, this was going to be a fun conversation. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Coming up, we have more newly datable love. 
> 
> I literally just throw names into a random pick generator.


	13. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice - Solomon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of Solomon! Solomon takes you on a field trip to the Sorcerer’s Society. Spoilers for season three. F!MC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part one is chapter 9- Human interaction.

“I thought you didn’t like these people?” You stood outside the stately building next to Solomon. He had suddenly announced over your coffee date that Saturday morning that he was taking you there.

After the night out with your friends, things had been a little awkward at first. The two of you had settled back into a routine, with much more time spent together. You weren’t technically dating, but you were definitely felt like you were more than friends. That had all changed when Lucifer and his brothers had shown up in the human world and turned everything upside down once more. Now, you were lucky you got to have coffee alone without someone from the house tagging along. It’s not that you minded, but you had a feeling Solomon might be feeling a bit put out. 

So now, you tried to do morning coffee and breakfast at The Angel’s Halo at least twice a week. You guys had tried another cafe once and agreed that while it was less crowded, nothing really compared to Simeon’s coffee and Luke’s pastries. 

“I don’t.” Solomon sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. “But, I need to have a discussion with someone, and I decided you should be able to meet some fellow magic users and come to your own conclusions. Don’t give me that look, lamb. You’re the sociable one.” 

As you entered, you noticed a bit more activity than the last time you were here. You felt a bit underdressed. You felt like you walked into a country club in your street clothes. You would have at least thrown on one of the casual sundresses Diavolo had gifted you from Wersace if Solomon had given you prior warning, instead of the shorts and sleeveless shirt you wore. 

“I won’t be long. Let me walk you to the apprentice’s lounge. There’s a tea station, a library, and a bunch of comfy sofas.” Solomon gave you a reassuring smile as you gave him another sour look. 

“We aren’t allowed in the normal lounge, are we?” You asked flatly.

“Not without your master. Sorry, my adorable pupil.” Solomon looked a bit guilty. “I’ll hurry as best I can and we’ll grab some lunch in the normal lounge. My treat.” He put his hand on your shoulder as you arrived to a large wooden door. 

“I’m holding you to it.” 

Solomon chuckled. 

“Go make friends. I’ll text you when I’m done.” 

“Don’t start any fights, Solomon.” You warned as he walked away.

“Wouldn’t dream of it!” He called back over his shoulder. 

Bullshit. You rolled your eyes and opened the door. A few eyes glanced at you before going back to their conversations. 

The room itself was stunning with intricately carved walnut bookshelves lining the walls. Impossibly plush looking burgundy couches and oversized armchairs were arranged around the room. A few occupants were curled up with giant leather bound volumes on their laps accompanied by floating tea cups beside them. You decided to take a look at the books. You climbed the detailed wrought iron spiral steps up to the second level to peruse the library above. 

You got lost in the section on Angels and Demons. Maybe you could find some insights on the Celestial Realm and it’s workings. 

”Well, Hello there.” 

You glanced up, startled. Oh no. 

There before you, hair tied back, facial hair impeccably groomed, red waist coat and black button down shirt, was Rob, the magician from the bar in all his pretentious hipster glory.

”Hey...” You forced a smile as you trailed off.

“The name’s Rob. We met at the Moonshine a while back. Never did get your name, kitten.”

Joy. No Solomon here to save your ass now. You reluctantly gave your name. 

“I didn’t peg you for an apprentice. Reading in the demonology section are we? I have a few pacts myself if you know, you need any help.” 

“Thanks, I’m good.” You started to turn when his hand settled next to your head. 

“Demon pacts are great. They’re good allies and excellent for various things you know. It takes a powerful person to impress one enough to consider a pact. I guess they just saw my magic potential.” 

“That’s nice, Rob.” 

“So like I said, if you want any help, I’m your man.” 

“Thanks for the offer. I’ll let you know if I need help with any pacts.” Holy shit could he just...not? 

“I have two myself. You might have heard of a certain elite demon named Mephistopheles?” 

It took everything you had to not completely break down laughing. You’d HAVE to ask one of the guys to ask him how THAT exactly happened. 

“Yes, I’m familiar with him. I’m going to get some tea now.” You started to move away to go to the fancy looking set up in the center of the room. 

“Oh, I was feeling peckish myself. I’ll escort you.” To your immense displeasure, he followed. You screamed internally as you poured yourself some hot water to steep your tea bag in. 

“So anyways, the key to winning over Mephistopheles was to outwit him in a game.” Ah. Must have been a tabletop game.

”What kind of game?” You decided to humor him. 

“You may be shocked to hear this, but I defeated him during a rousing game of Catan Traveller.” Yep, sounded like him. 

“I see.” You moved to an arm chair and immediately Rob beckoned an empty one to zoom over. You caught a few people sending you looks of pity, yet no one came to your rescue. 

“Did you know they had such games in the Devildom? That’s what their realm is called, you know.” 

“Yeah, I know.” The internal screaming was constant at this point. “I’ve been there.” 

“Have you, now? I can’t believe your master or mistress would put you in such danger. A gorgeous lady like yourself would surely attract the attention of many an unsavory incubus.” 

“I had adequate protection, I assure you.” You took a sip of tea. It was good. Not Barbatos good, but good. 

“You know, I’m in the works of forging a pact with Barbatos. He’s the demon king’s servant.” 

“Really now?” You pulled out your D.D.D. “When you say in the works...?” 

_“Hey Barbatos, you know some sorcerer dude named Rob? He’s over here saying he’s working on a pact with you.”_ You shot the text off quickly.

“He hasn’t answered my summons yet, but one day soon, he’ll acknowledge my skills. The things you can see and do using his powers...He can control time, you see.” Rob rambled on about Barbatos’s powers as you watched the three dots bounce on your screen. 

“ _Yes. He’s an amateur apprentice who keeps trying to summon me. I assure you I have zero interest in him.”_ His reply popped up equally as quick.

“Good luck with that.” God, what was taking Solomon so long? 

“So tell me about yourself. Why are you so interested in demons? Maybe I can answer some questions. Like I said, if you want pact advice I can get you started.” Rob crossed his legs and leaned back.

“I’m not interested in any more pacts, thanks.”

”Oh, so you do have one? Who is it?” 

“I actually have seven.” 

“You don’t have to exaggerate to impress anyone here.” Rob leaned forward. 

“I’m serious. I have seven pacts.” What was this dude’s problem?

“Ok, kitten.” He gave you an amused smile and you wanted to rip his face off. “So who is your master? My master is Ignatius Taft. We met during a DnD event one summer and I convinced him to take me on.” He took a long sip of tea.

”Solomon the Wise. I met him in the Devildom when we were exchange students at RAD.” Rob choked on his tea, dribbling it down his chin and coughing. A few people glanced your way.

”Solomon. Solomon is your master?” People were definitely staring now as Rob scrambled to his feet. “So those seven pacts...YOU’RE the one with pacts with the Seven Lords of Hell?! I thought that was an urban legend!” 

“I mean, you met Solomon at the bar? Is it really that big of a deal?” You thought you were uncomfortable before, but whispers carrying around the room had started bringing a flush to your face.

”THAT WAS SOLOMON THE WISE?” 

“Can you keep your voice down please?” 

“That dude is batshit crazy! My master says he experiments with wildly dangerous magic with no regard for others or the outcome! Wait, can you summon Lucifer? Or Beelzebub? Like right now? They have to listen to you right?” 

You felt your annoyance shift to rage as Rob sat back down and started interrogating you about your housemates.

Sure Solomon was a bit on the eccentric side, infuriating, snarky, brazen, and shady, but batshit crazy? No. Solomon was your friend, mentor, partner. Wait, partner? Eh, fuck it. You’d sort out your feelings later. 

“I would personally love to party with Asmodeus. Is it as fun as I heard it is through devilgram? Can you get me an invite? Is Diavolo really that intimidating? I heard he drinks the blood of virgins for breakfast.” That was enough. 

“Excuse me, but who the fuck do you think you are?” You finally spoke. You kept your voice cool and even. The room went silent in anticipation. “My pacts and their power dynamics are absolutely none of your fucking business along with the personal lives of the royal household. I’m not going to summon anyone here like a cheap party trick because they have their own damn lives and I respect that. Furthermore, you know absolutely nothing about Solomon other than what rumors you have heard from those he’s offended so I absolutely suggest you keep his name out of your mouth before I make it so that you cannot open it. Do I make myself clear?” Man, Lucifer had really started to rub off on you. 

Rob sat in stunned silence. Finally he opened his mouth. 

“Mark me down as scared and aroused. Damn, you are one feisty kitten. Mreow.” 

If you were in the Devildom, you would have simply hexed him with what all limited knowledge from Belphie and Satan you had at once. But, human world meant human methods. You simply chose to throw the tea in your hand in his face before rising and leaving.

Damn waste of tea. You had really wanted to punch him in the face, but this was not the place to do so. They’d probably bill either you or Solomon for the cleaning if he had bled on the furniture. Plus that creep probably would have liked it anyways.   
  
As you stormed down the corridor, you saw Solomon exit a door further down. He rushed over to you at the head of the stairs. 

“Hey, I was about to text you. What’s wrong? You look distraught.” Solomon set his hands in your shoulders, concern etching his features. 

“Let’s just go. Please?” 

“What happened, my darling apprentice?” Solomon’s hand rested on your cheek. 

“I don’t want to talk about it right here. Can we just go?” 

“Hey, are you ok?” You both turned to see a young woman with black curls and round glasses standing behind you, her tattoo on her hand flashing. She had four stars from what you could see. “We all saw what happened and I just wanted to say Rob is an asshole. Not all of us are like that, I promise. I’m Artemisia, but everyone just calls me Missy.” She held her hand out. 

You took it and replied with your name.

”Thank you.” You mumbled. “I’m just...riled.” 

”It’s no problem. I personally would have gone with a backhand across his face, but he’s into that kind of thing.” She shrugged. “The best thing to do is just ignore him. But I do like your method of throwing tea. He’s kind of just resigned himself to sitting there.” 

“You did what now?” Solomon was looking increasingly bewildered and amused. 

“You must be Solomon. Pleasure to meet you. My mistress Lady Morgana speaks highly of you.” 

“Ah, you’re cross training with witchcraft, are you? Well, give her my regards.” Solomon nodded. 

“Here, is this you?” She held up her phone to show your profile on devilbook. “I’m going to invite you to our apprentice group. There’s also a bunch of beginner witches so don’t be alarmed. Oh, and Rob is banned so no worries there.” 

“Thank you.” Your rage had subsided to now being flustered. 

“It’s no problem. We try to be welcoming, we really do. Take care, ok? Please come back and hang out sometime.” With that she turned and waved as she walked back towards the lounge. That was nice.

“So let’s talk about your tea throwing.” Solomon smirked as he offered his arm. You rolled your eyes and took it. 

“I will when we’re home.” 

“Do you want to go back to the house?” 

“Actually, can we go to my apartment? I need to water the plants.” 

“Of course.” Solomon opened a portal. “Let’s avoid the summer heat, though.” You held on to him until you felt you feet hit the ground. 

Solomon sprawled out in your couch as you went to adjust the thermostat to turn the air conditioning on and find the gallon jug of water. You really should give up the apartment, but it was nice having somewhere you could occasionally escape to. Plus, you had zero idea what was going to happen when the brothers’ break was over. You sighed as you finished watering. Solomon’s hand enclosed yours and gently pulled you to the couch.

“Come, tell me what has my cute apprentice all riled up.” 

You groaned and reluctantly recounted the events from the lounge. 

“Well then.” Solomon finally managed. “I think it’s best you avoid him from now on.” 

“Oh, really? I didn’t think of that.” You shot back sarcastically and glowered at the man next to you. 

“Keep making that face and I’ll make it so it stays that way.” Solomon tapped your nose. He was silent for a moment. “Did you really tell him that you would hex his mouth shut for insulting me?” He raised an eyebrow in amusement. 

“Maybe.” You replied sheepishly. Solomon laughed.   
  
“You really are something, you know that? You keep me on my toes.” Solomon looked at you fondly, almost with adoration. He started to reach out, but stopped himself. He cleared his throat and stood to go raid your fridge for a drink. 

Your brain was in a frenzy. Thoughts and what if swirled. You knew you had feelings for the man in your kitchen. You knew your power dynamic. You also knew that you had already laid out boundaries. Ugh. You had feelings for each other. That was clear as day. Ok. It was time to put this dance you two were doing to rest. You had made up your mind. 

“Solomon, can we talk for a moment?” 

“I thought that was what we’ve been doing, lamb.” 

“Ha Ha. Come here.” You crossed you legs and pointed to the space on the couch next to you. 

Solomon sank into the cushion next to you and turned his body to face you. 

“Am I in trouble?”

”Depends. What did you do? If you did nothing then you just need to listen.”

“I’m listening.” Solomon had a slight smile on his lips 

“I’ve reconsidered what I said before. About...us and this situation.” Solomon’s smile faded. 

“Meaning?” You could hear the nerves in his voice. You took a deep breath, trying to settle your own nerves.

“Meaning, I don’t want to wait until I’m a full-fledged sorcerer to be with you romantically. I want that now. Life is short. I mean, not for you I guess, but I’d rather not waste time I could be happy with you pretending I don’t have feelings. So I’m asking if you would not only be my partner in magic, but my romantic partner? I mean, if you’ll have me?” 

Shock washed over Solomon’s face with silence. Then a smile spread over his features and before you could register, he had pulled you into his lap and was kissing you fiercely. 

“Is that a yes?” You inquired as you both resurfaced.

“I don’t know, I might have to kiss you again to be certain.” 

“You are such pain in the ass.” You grumbled as he pulled you back close to him.

“Yeah, but now I’m your pain in the ass, darling.” Solomon smirked deviously before reclaiming your mouth with his. 

Honestly, you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Dia is next, then Barbs.


	14. Pomegranate Summer - Diavolo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 3 yo. Diavolo is struggling with you being in the human world instead of the Devildom. He decides to remedy this situation. Season 2 and 3 spoilers.
> 
> F!mc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else got the Diavolo UR+ and just about melted at the sheer fluff?

You sat on the rattan loveseat on your balcony. It was a Saturday afternoon and you had run your errands earlier and now you were relaxing after lunch with a snack. Early summer had permitted you to bring your beloved plants outside to bask in the sunlight. You picked apart pomegranate segments in a bowl. You had some music softly playing. You could smell one of the ground level neighbors grilling what smelled like burgers while the building’s kids played basketball out in the court across the lot. The opening guitar rift of Smells Like Teen Spirit floated up to your ears. 

You smiled to yourself, remembering Dia in your car, clinging to the handle above the door. Fuck, you missed him.

You both weren’t even sure what the hell your relationship could even be called since you two had been on and off. You had broken up once when you returned home after the program and picked right back up the night you got thrown back to the Devildom courtesy of Solomon. Granted, he was being distant at the time and it was frustrating. You eventually forgave him for withholding information. Before you had left, you two had decided to give the cross realm thing a go and see how it went. He had told you multiple times you couldn’t stay there permanently, but conceded to at least agreeing to having you back for holidays, birthdays, and vacations being spent in the Devildom. 

So far, he texted at least every day, but he had been so slammed with attempting to fix the chaos your magic had caused while running wild, conversation was sparse and had been limited to good morning and goodnight texts, asking how your day went before he would text Barbatos told him to get off the phone and focus. 

You felt guilty. You knew you weren’t even aware you had done anything until he and Solomon had sat you down and told you, and now your friends and parties in all three realms were busy fixing the mess you made.

You also felt dumb. There was no way you and Dia would have gotten a happy ending if you stayed in the Devildom. He was the future king of hell and you were a human who happened to have wild magic from an angelic ancestor that had to be contained. He insisted you belonged in the sunlight, not eternal night. He had made the offhand comments about wanting to keep you there forever, but that he cared too much to keep you from your own realm. 

You finished your third section of pomegranate before noticing your water cup was empty. You grumbled and got up to go refill it. You slid open the glass door to go inside. 

“Hello there.” 

You screamed and threw the ceramic pomegranate bowl at the person in your apartment before issuing a blow of magic, sight blinded by the flash, but you felt a pair of hands close firmly around your wrists. 

“It’s me, it’s me. Breathe. Just breathe.” Finally, the blindness dissipated and you clearly saw Diavolo standing in front of you, concern and guilt on his face. 

“Dia?” You felt yourself settling down some, but your heart was still racing and your fight or flight instincts were still raging.

“Sorry, I should have given you some warning I was coming, but I wanted to surprise you and it was very last minute. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” He pressed fervent kisses to your hands. 

“Yeah, you should have.” You reprimanded. “You nearly gave me a heart attack! And you made me lose my snack.” 

“My deepest apologies.” The kicked puppy look in his eyes made your anger melt away. “Forgive me?” 

”Don’t look at me like that. Dia...” You groaned. “Ugh ok, I forgive you.” You sighed. He smiled brightly at you before finally releasing your hands. 

You took a step back and saw he was wearing casual human attire like he had worn in your first human world excursion together. There was no flannel cover up this time. The black t-shirt was a bit tight, showing off the prince's physique, the black tattoos showing once more on his forearms, accented with the woven leather bracelet you gifted him the first time you went. Lord, you could stare at him for hours.

“What brings you here?” You knelt to start picking up pomegranate arils before they stained anything permanently. Diavolo quickly knelt to help. 

“I missed you.” He stated bluntly. “So I snuck out and created the portal myself. I could have brought you back to the Devildom easily, but to be honest, I didn’t want to share time with you with Lucifer and his brothers for now.” 

“Barbatos is going to kill you.” You shook your head. 

“I’d like to see him try to keep me from you another day longer.” Diavolo chuckled as he collected the tiny garnet arils in his hand with a rind. “It’s been difficult not seeing you daily, you know. Not just for me, but for the brothers as well. Even Barbatos is down in the dumps. We all miss you. It's like I can't relax until I see your face." He sighed. 

"So you decided to play hooky and come visit?" 

"More or less. I was hoping we could spend the afternoon and evening together, if you're free that is." He dumped his handful into the bowl he retrieved. 

"I am." You followed suit. "What did you have in mind?" 

"Nothing in particular. I just wanted to see you." He shrugged. "Perhaps we could wander around the city? There, I think we got them all." He stood and his golden eyes swept the floor. "Let's rinse these off and put them away for later?" 

"Alright." You joined him at the sink and took the bowl from him to rinse things off. 

"First order of business though, I was hoping to kiss you." Diavolo leaned against the stove, looking hopefully at you. You flicked water at him. "Hey! You know you're the only person who would dare do that." He pouted. 

"Come here." You chuckled as you stood on tiptoe to brush your lips against his. Diavolo quickly gathered you up in his arms, and pushed you back against the sink. 

"I've longed to do that since the second you walked back through the portal on the side of the mountain." He murmured as you parted before pressing another quick kiss to your lips. “I wanted to grab your hand and pull you back or jump in after you.” 

You gently stroked his back as he wrapped his arms around you and bent down to bury his face in your hair. You inhaled the dizzying scent of bergamot and sandalwood from his cologne. 

“You’re here now, Dia. How about this? We go downtown? We could go back to the record store, go peruse a few shops, get some food and come back here for the rest of the night when we get tired.” 

“That sounds delightful. But whatever we do, we should probably go soon before Barbatos figures out I’m no longer in the bath and comes hunting for me.” Diavolo kissed the top of your head.

“Alright. Can you lock up the sliding door and put the stick down in the track and I’ll get my shoes on?”

You quickly gathered your bag and slid your shoes on. A few minutes later, everything was locked up, you two had buckled in the car, Diavolo had a pair of sunglasses on and was firmly grasping the handle above the door. You went to turn the key to start the engine when Diavolo’s phone rang. Busted. 

Diavolo grimaced as he reluctantly answered. 

“Hello there, Barbatos.”

You could hear the butler ranting and scolding on the other end of the line.

”Give me the phone.” You held out your hand. Diavolo furrowed his brow. “Trust me.” He passed you the phone.

”Hello Barbatos, I miss you terribly. I’m doing alright, how about you? I have some delightful recipes for you. Yes, he’s with me in the human world. Nope, no idea he was pulling this stunt today. No. He’ll be back by morning, ready to work. Yes, Barbatos, I’ll make sure he behaves. Yes we’ll keep an eye out for witches. I’ll pass the message along. Ok bye- no. Barbatos. It’s going to be fine. It’ll be fine. No. No. Ok, Barbatos I’m going to hang up now. It’ll be fine. Barbatos it’s going to be alright, now go enjoy the rest of your day. Ok, bye Barbatos.” You hung up and handed the phone back to Diavolo who gazed at you with pure awe and adoration. 

“He says he’ll decide your punishment when you return.” You turned the key and started the car. “Here, pick a playlist.” You unlocked your phone and handed it to him. 

Diavolo hummed happily along to the music as you drove down the highway. 

“How is everyone doing? I barely hear from them.” You switched lanes. 

“Really? Hmm...I suppose they are preoccupied with something big.” 

“Big like what?”

”They have been cleaning the house non-stop. Barbatos has been assisting them.” 

“Nothing like some late spring cleaning I guess.” 

“Something like that.” Diavolo smiled to himself. “Is Solomon running you ragged?”

”Surprisingly no. He’s keeping me busy, but hasn’t overwhelmed me yet. Fuck.” You swore as you saw a sign stating the off ramp was closed. “Looks like we have to go around through the snooty part of town.” 

“The snooty part?” 

“The rich assholes. Sorry, no offense. It’s just mansions everywhere.”

”None taken.” Diavolo laughed. 

“Don’t get me wrong, they’re not assholes because they’re rich. They’re assholes because they’re assholes. I know a few friends who worked in that neighborhood in the shops and restaurants. They don’t tip their servers, treat their housekeepers and other employees in their homes and the shops around town like trash, and just live in their own little bubbles. There are some good people living in those neighborhoods, but unfortunately, it’s the nasty ones that decide to make their presence known.” You slowed down as you entered the residential area. 

“I think it’s the same across all three realms.” Diavolo looked out the window. “Although, I’ve found over the years that true kindness tends to shine like a beacon through the murk of unpleasantness.” 

“That’s reassuring actually. Well...at least some of the houses are gorgeous.” You sighed. 

“I can arrange for you to have one of those gorgeous houses you know.” Diavolo grinned. 

“Dia you better be joking. Don’t you dare.” You sent him a sharp look. 

“No worries, I am. But out of curiosity, why not?” He turned to you and lowered his shades. 

“One, I wouldn’t be comfortable accepting a mansion from someone as a gift. Two, it would be too much house for me alone. Or even two people. I didn’t mind the size of the House of Lamentation since there was eight of us living there. Although I’d like to upgrade to a two bedroom and have an extra room for whatever, my apartment is fine for just me alone.” 

“Say hypothetically, Lucifer and his brothers came to stay here in the human world. Would you still mind living in one of those mansions?” 

“Hypothetically speaking, if it was with them and not just not me in the house, then I suppose it would be fine, I guess. But I mean, I can’t see them wanting to come up here for any extended amount of time.” You turned down another street, the surroundings becoming more and more urban and concrete. 

You failed to notice the smirk on Diavolo’s face as he pulled out his phone and started texting. Eventually, you found you normal parking structure and parked.   
  
“Alright, Barbatos also told me to tell you to cast a spell of inconspicuousness.” You turned your head towards him.

“Really? We’re here in the human world though.” Diavolo groaned. 

“Depends if you want a repeat of last time with the diner witches.” You shrugged. “If you don’t want to do the spell, you’re going to have to watch what you’re saying about the Devildom and human worlds.” You warned him. 

“What makes you say that?” 

“Diavolo, you talked about being able to buy dragon meat in the human world when we were walking in, remember?” You gave him a stern look. 

“Oh yeah.”

“And asking if any of the items at the tea shop were cursed and then being mildly disappointed when they said no.” 

“Ok, point made.” Diavolo muttered sullenly.

“Let’s just relax, ok?” You squeezed his knee before unbuckling your seat belt and getting out. Diavolo followed suite and you locked the car before swinging your bag over your shoulder. “So, what first?” 

“I saw something as we were driving in. Is bubble tea similar to bufo egg milk tea?” 

“Yes! The Devildom version actually inspired by it! I know which place you’re talking about, and it’s really good! The tapioca pearls are usually just the perfect consistency.” You smiled broadly and led the way. 

You paused at the menu posted on the door so Diavolo could browse the flavors. 

“I’m unaware of what half of these are I’m afraid.” He shook his head. “Jasmine tea is delightful though.” He mused contemplatively. 

“They have a rose flavor.” You pointed out. “I know your favorite is that Hellfire Rose tea. It’s going to be way sweeter though since they use a rose syrup.” 

“This is a quite a conundrum.” Diavolo laughed.

”How about I get jasmine, you get rose and if you don’t like it, we can switch?” You offered. 

“That sounds agreeable to me.” 

A few minutes later, you walked out. Judging by the way you could tell Diavolo’s face lit up, even behind the sunglasses he wore, when he tasted his drink, he liked it. You giggled. 

“Hey, let’s take pictures again. I want to show you how Asmodeus has helped my selfie skills!” Diavolo got his phone out. You quickly posed with him. “Oh, I accidentally cut our heads off.” 

“Here, let me help.” Finally, you two managed to get a decent picture “Would you like to hold hands?” You offered your free hand out to him. 

“I would quite like that.” Diavolo grasped your hand before intertwining his fingers with yours. He brought your hand up to press a quick kiss to it. “Where would my lovely escort like to go next?” 

“We could head towards the record shop? We can find something new to you.” 

“That sounds wonderful. Perhaps Barbatos will enjoy the new selections much more.” You couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Yeah...We should probably get him some tea as an apology.” You gave his hand a light squeeze. He squeezed back. 

“Oh hey, you’re back and you brought your friend.” The heavily pierced and tattooed associate glanced up at you as you entered the shop. “Like what you heard?”

”Very much.” Diavolo beamed. 

“Uh-uh doll. You know the rules. Drinks up here on the counter.” The associate waggled a finger before tapping the glass counter with their nails. “We don’t need no sticky records.”

A half hour later, you two walked out with records in hand. Soon, you two found a small park square and settled on a bench. You pulled out your phone and found a slew of texts and missed calls from both Barbatos and the brothers. You sighed and flipped through Barbados’s texts. Mostly just asking if you two were being safe and punishment ideas. You looked up as you felt Diavolo’s arm slide behind you on the back of the bench. He was smiling at you serenely, sunglasses off and hooked on the neck of his shirt.

“Sorry. Barbatos. He’s taking some pretty creative ideas from Lucifer’s anthology of punishments.” His expression didn’t change. “Why are you looking at me like that? Hello? Earth to Dia?”

”Sorry. I was just thinking how stunning you look in the sun. This is the second time I’ve seen it and it’s just as lovely as seeing you in the Devildom moonlight.” 

“Dia!” You whined as you buried your red face in your hands out of embarrassment. He laughed heartily and rubbed your shoulder. 

“It’s a compliment! I forget you’re easily embarrassed by them. Come here.” He chuckled and drew you to lean against him. You looked up at him. The way the sunlight caught in his golden eyes was breathtaking. “Now you’re the one staring.” You wrinkled your nose at him before he tapped it.

“We still need to get Barbatos some tea.” You tried to deflect.

”In a few minutes. I’m enjoying this moment with you. Feel that breeze... This is so relaxing.” Diavolo closed his eyes, exhaled and smiled. 

“You really do enjoy the sun, don’t you?” 

“I suppose I’m not subtle, am I?” He replied without opening his eyes.

“Hmmm...Considering you have artificial sunlight on your private beach, and the ski resort, and how you act like an oversized cat trying to find a napping place in the sunlight, not really.” 

Diavolo opened his eyes and looked at you with a shocked and amused look on his face before doubling over in laughter. 

“My, you’re bold. You truly are the only one who would dare say that. At least to my face.” He wheezed.

“You say it like you’re a prince and no one has ever dared to tease you before.” 

“You certainly are something.” Diavolo shook his head while still chuckling. 

“I’m assuming you like that or else I would have been thrown in the dungeon long ago.”

”I would never do that to my darling exchange student.” Diavolo responded. 

“You sent me back in time though when I sassed you for the first time.” You grumbled. “What was it? Something about staying out of the affairs of demons and that it didn’t concern me? Boy, you were Not Happy with me.” 

“No hard feelings, I hope?” Diavolo nuzzled the top of your head.

“Eh, it’s not your fault I was violently murdered.” You responded, face deadpan, and shrugged. Diavolo laughed nervously.

”Let’s go get that tea, shall we?” 

You turned and gently kissed his cheek, causing him to flush red. 

“But, we wouldn’t have gotten to know each other so well, and we would not be sitting here on this bench, on this truly lovely day. So I suppose I can’t be too terribly upset.” You stood up. “You coming?” 

The rest of the afternoon, you noted Diavolo barely let go of your hand and when he did, he wasn’t too far from you. Soon though, your stomach growled 

“I didn’t know Beelzebub was here.” Diavolo smirked and you lightly knocked into him. He knocked back into you and you yelped as you stumbled across the sidewalk. Diavolo’s arms quickly shot around you and you grabbed the front of his shirt to steady your balance. “I’m sorry, it appears I don’t know my own strength. Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” You still clung to him as he relaxed his grip. He maneuvered you to a small alley out of the way of people on the sidewalk.

“So what cuisine from this realm are you thinking about for dinner?” 

“Hmmm...Well, we could get something here in town, or we grab a small snack, go home, order Chinese and unwind.” You ran a hand up and across his chest before reaching up and playing with a lock of his auburn hair. His cheeks flushed once more. He caught your hand and kissed your palm, eyes locked on yours. 

”The latter sounds delightful.” You felt a thrill run through you at his tone. 

_-One hour, two donuts, and a pit stop at the tourist trap shop later-_

“Alright, thanks.” You hung up the phone and hooked it up to the charger on the side table. “Food should be here in about forty five minutes.” You turned to glance at Diavolo, who sat on your couch on his D.D.D. eating the remnants of the leftover pomegranate.

“Perfect.” He slid his phone in his pocket. “We don’t have these in the Devildom naturally. My father cultivated a species that grows without sunlight in his free time.” He gestured to the bowl. “I have to say, these taste much better. Sweeter.” 

“Is that where you got your interest in horticulture from?” You reached over and helped yourself to the bowl. 

“Perhaps. We differ in so many ways, I suppose that is the one of the very few things we have in common.” He shrugged. “Anyways, as I said, this is quite a delicious pomegranate.” 

You reached back into the bowl, unaware of Diavolo staring at you with a devious smirk. You barely had time to register him pulling you into his lap to straddle him and had captured you in a fervent kiss. You felt yourself absolutely melt into his touch. 

“Dia!” You yipped as his mouth travelled to your neck and nipped the skin gently as his hands trailed down your sides. “Really? Right now?” 

”We have time before the food comes. We can stop if you wish.” Diavolo pulled back. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

You sighed and carded your fingers through his hair as he gazed up at you, gently massaging circles into your hips with his thumbs. 

It had been weeks since you two had seen each other. Even longer since you had actually messed around. Private time had been scarce and neither of you had been particularly in the mood or had energy when you had found time to slip out together. 

You leaned down and languidly kissed him back. 

“Is that a yes?” Diavolo breathed as you pulled away. 

“It’s a definite yes, but-” You pressed a finger to his mouth as he lunged forward. “You get to answer the door when food gets here. And you call Barbatos before bed.” 

“You drive a hard bargain, but I agree to your terms.” In a blink of an eye, he had stood and slung you over his shoulder while laughing. 

“Diavolo! This is so undignified!”

_-The next morning-_

You grumbled as the morning sun started to filter in through the curtain. Your hand fished for your phone on the nightstand, body aching from the previous night’s activities. The screen read 6:30. Fuck. You had promised Barbatos he’d be back by morning.

“Dia, wake up.” You mumbled and yawned. Diavolo’s grip around your waist tightened as he made an annoyed noise into your shoulder. “Come on, I told Barbatos you’d be home first thing. We need to hold up our end of the bargain.” You rubbed his arm.

“Five more minutes.” Diavolo grumbled and then sighed. “It’s truly unfair I have to leave you before the sun is fully up.” You rolled over and snuggled against his chest. His hand ran up and down your back in gentle rubs.

“As much as I don’t want you to go either, I’d rather not have an angry Barbatos in my bedroom dragging you out in your boxers.” 

“He wouldn’t dare.” Diavolo snorted. 

The cool morning breeze flitted in through the cracked window next to the bed as birds started chirping. Diavolo gently kissed your forehead as he stroked your messy hair. 

“I truly adore you.” He murmured. “More than adore you. I wish I could stay here with you.” 

“You have a kingdom to run, my love. We’ll see each other again soon.” 

“Yes, we will. Here though, in the human world.” 

“That would be nice.” You yawned. 

“I believe I love you.” He whispered. Your eyes shot open and you sat up. 

“Really?” He sat up as well. 

“Truly.”

You kissed him hard and he pulled you back down.

Your heart nearly stopped when someone knocked on the bedroom door.

”My lord. It is morning. It’s time to go. Now. I’ll be waiting on the couch.” Barbatos’s voice was eerily calm. 

“I told you he’d show up.” 

Diavolo groaned. 

_-A week later-_

Diavolo slammed his pen down before leaning back and letting loose a muffled growl of frustration. This paperwork was seemingly never ending. It was almost done. He had to hold on to that belief that it would be done soon and he could escape for a few days. What he would give for a nap on the lap of his beloved at this very moment.

Barbatos’s punishment had been harsh. Lucifer had strung him up and he was not permitted to leave his office except to sleep, eat, and use the bathroom for three days. His phone had been confiscated for the week. 

“Young Master, I have prepared some tea.” Barbatos walked in with a tea tray and set it down on the coffee table. 

“Thank you, Barbatos.” Diavolo sighed and rose to join him. He took a long drink of the hellfire rose tea. 

“This also came for you today. I think it should lift your spirits.” Barbatos produced a small box.

”Hm.” He reached out to inspect. His heart leapt as he recognized the handwriting. He eagerly opened the box to find a letter on top of a neatly wrapped item and a round object wrapped in wispy paper.

_To help you relax and to add a touch of sweetness to your day._

He smiled broadly at the signature as he opened the wrapped item. It was a photo frame, the photo was one of you and him on that sunny day, you kissing his cheek as he took the picture. He unrolled the round object to find a large pomegranate. 

“Also, a message from Lucifer. He and his brothers have selected a home in the human world. Solomon should be informed soon. Apparently Mammon wants to surprise our favorite human.” 

Diavolo chuckled. 

He couldn’t wait. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Barbs is next, followed by Lucifer and Satan (finally. I promise I wasn’t avoiding writing him.). Meow.


End file.
